SonicBlu Darkfold
The Partying Prehistoric Predator himself. He's generally outgoing and tries to keep a rocking
beat for the listeners to tune into, but even he would admit sometimes that we need a little slow,
put-you-to-sleep music because "we can't aaaaaalways be rockin' and rollin'!" If there were ever
a radio announcer that takes to the styles of Wolfman Jack and Rick Dees put together, SonicBlu
is it. He adds humor and wit to his broadcasting style and musical knowledge, and mixes it with voice
impersonations whenever one is needed. Some of the voice talents known to come into the studio from
time to time would be that of Ringo Starr, George Harrison, Paul McCartney, Tom Petty, James Brown,
Walter Kronkite, Ian Anderson, Bob Dylan, Elvis Presley, Sean Connery, and Bobby Nunn (that guy from
The Coasters/The Robins with the really deep voice).
Bar Hoppin' Bill
With SonicBlu, as always, sits everyone's
favorite drunk-as-a-skunk oldest-man-alive barman, Bar Hoppin'
Bill. His antics and drunken slurs keep listeners entertained when Bill grumbles and complains
about wanting his bottle of alcohol, and throws any empty bottles nearby until he gets it. Bill
also likes to deliberately sing the lyrics of songs completely wrong. He is currently the host
of the Time Machine Double-Shots. In this segment, Bill will play two Beatles songs, followed by two
songs of the featured artist of the day. He can be quite the character, but if you're in town,
he'll buy you a round of drinks at Jake's Tavern. Just don't succumb to his phony war stories. He
loves to brag. His inspiration is Farnham from the popular game Diablo, and would like to be
just like him someday --- a retired fighter against demons and the undead, and do nothing but
sit by an empty house and drink the day away.
Mad Cajun
Here we have the enforcer of the entire station.
He was once a Vietnam War veteran and Sergeant Major in the US Army, but now he takes to his
retirement announcing blurbs on the show. When the Mad Cajun talks, everybody listens.
How can you not listen to a cajun with a loud, booming voice that threatens you by pouring cajun
season salts all over your head and feeding you to his alligator friends in the bayou. The Mad
Cajun handles the blurbs that get sent to SonicBlu, to be read during various segments of the show.
Although his shell is thicker than the hardest of steel, deep inside lies a heart of pure gold.
It just takes a little while to see past the clouds of aggression he conveys. His main inspiration
is Sergeant Slaughter, and will wrestle you to the ground to prove it. Don't believe he can be so tough?
Click here to check out Mad Cajun's recipe for Shut The Fuck Up.
Brotha Dredd
"HEY MON!" --- two of the most uttered
words to come from Brotha Dredd's mouth, and he
says them each time he's announced. This rasta Jamaican echidna loves the music of Bob Marley,
The Police, and anything else with a good reggae beat. He tries to keep Bar Hoppin' Bill in line,
but gets offended very easily by his putrid breath. He will tell you the cigarettes he smokes
are not ganja, but menthol --- a little rehabilitation from a former addiction, he'll say. If you
knew Brotha Dredd, it wouldn't take you long to note his fanfare for Reggae legend Bob Marley, and
is often found driving down the street in his Lincoln Continental, blasting the music of Bob Marley
and the Wailers, and making sure everybody hears the crashing symbals, the banging bongos, and the
voice of freedom and peace tellin' it like it is.
Fabulous Fabio
"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful"
are the famous last words of our flamboyant flamer, Fabulous Fabio. He'll say he's the star of the cooking show "The Flaming Chef"
from the Rammit Inn in downtown San Francisco, but his cooking show was canceled and his FCC license was revoked becasue the
network confused his show for a risque pornography video. Just goes to show that Fabio can really cook in the kitchen, but
that's nothing compared to what he can do in the bedroom. He'll tell you that himself, but he really shouldn't say anything
while on the air. Despite his run-in with the FCC, he now broadcasts internet radio with the Time Machine Show, but watch
out when he speaks. The truth is in there somewhere, but who would really want to hear about that stuff anwyay? His favorite
artist of all time is George Michael, and his greatest pride and joy is his Abba records and vintage Barbra Streisand ticket
stubs from concerts he saw long ago.