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December 20th- The End of the Beginning, The Beginning of the End. The my private phone rings. "Hello?", I answer. "Your loving wife calls and all you can do is say 'Hello?'", Cathy asks on the other end. "Hi dear... everything's OK?", I ask. "So far it is.", Cathy begins, "Little J.R. is with my sisters at my parents home, and Randal should be picking me up in a couple of hours." "You sure you don't want me to tag along?", I ask with concern. "I'm sure I can handle him.", she says. "I don't trust him.", I said. "I know you don't; anyways, how's grandma over there?", she asks. I don't answer for the moment, thinking that I should be there with her. "Hel-low- how's grandma?", she asks much louder... "Sorry, I got distracted for a second.", I explain. "You've been getting distracted too easily lately.", Cathy said. "Grandma being too stubborn, not taking her medication and in bed in too much pain from the cancer. She does not look good, not at all.", I explain. "I can see where she gets if from..... you.", Cathy jokes. "I'm not going to say anything.", I said. "You cant!", she says with laughter in her voice. For some reason, that makes me smile, it always did. "Call me tomorrow, so I can pick you up from your parent's place?", I ask. "Yeah, I'll call, but I'll meet you at home. You know how much my parents hate you.", she commented. "OK then, tomorrow, at home. Why not tonight?", I asked, changing the subject. "What if Randal wants to take me home? What then? I don't want a fight between the two of you's.", she explains. "You better not take him home....", I said with some anger in my voice. "Don't you trust me?", she says in that little southern gal accent trying to play innocent. "I don't trust him.", I add. "Fernando- If you love me, then trust me that nothing's going to happen.", Cathy explains. "I do love you, but don't trust him.", I continue adding. "*SIGH* OK, I see we'll need to talk about your distrust when we get back home.", she said. "Its not that, Cathy. You I can trust, and love you with everything I got.", I try to explain. "So do I...", Cathy replies. "I just don't like the idea of your former husband returning after all these years of abandoning you in the first place.", I explain. "Then let me take care of it then, Fernando.", she says. "Alright... *SIGH*", I answer her. "See ya tomorrow...", she said with almost in a song. "Love ya, bye", I reply. "Bye...", she answers before hanging up abruptly. Usually we would see who would hang up first, lasting anywhere from 20 minutes to almost an hour. But this time she hangs up first. I follow and hang up the phone as well. "Girl friend call you?", my brother Jorge mocks with a feminine voice. "Fuck you- Jorge...", I tell him as I adjust the phone on my desk. I then get up and walk to the kitchen. Grandma's laying on the sofa, complaining about the various body aches she's currently going through, wishing she would die to get away from the pain. I look on top of the refrigerator, where her pills are kept at, reading at the little bottles for directions, usage and dosage. I find the ones used to kill the pain, selecting a couple from the group, and a glass of water for her to drink. I go to her and offer her the medication. "Coje este porqueria afreda de mi carra!", she yells at me as she slaps the medication and glass of water from my hands. "Abuela! Estos para el dolor...", I try to explain to her. "Deha me solo, deha me a murir...", she complains. "Muerates entonse... Y no me pedas para nada!", I yell back at her. She cries, from the pain, from my response, or both. I can understand her despair, but considering what I went through in my life, the pain and multiple surgies to get me to walk again, there should be nothing should make anyone give up on everything like she is. I can understand pain, but I conquered mine. She, on the other hand, has given up on life itself. I clean up the mess, and head back into the kitchen. Jorge is in the hallway before the entrance. "You should have left her alone.", he says. "Maybe you should leave me alone.", I warn him. "Oh, what are you going to do, beat me?", he taunts me. "No- we're too evenly matched for that.", I tell him. "Oooo... you got me scared.", he continues with his taunting. I take the stuff I cleaned up and dispose of it accordingly, washing my hands in the sink. "Man, you're such a fucking pig.", Jorge says in disgust of my washing my hands in the kitchen sink and not in the bathroom basin. I dry my hands against the side of my pants legs, as I go out of the kitchen and into our shared room. He follows me. I look around for my wallet, hat and coat. I find them scattered among my various items on my side of the room. The wallet I stuff into my back pocket, the hat onto my head as I always wear it- just covering the points of my ears. "You don't know how stupid you look.", Jorge says. "And how long you are going to remain working at a supermarket as a bag-boy?", I ask. "Fuck you, Fernando...", he says angrily. I walk out the room and head out the house to roam randomly about. Perhaps meet Raul, or do some Xmas shopping, anything to get out of the house. I close the door quietly behind me as to not disturb grandma. She sits in front of the dresser as she always did since I moved in with her, perhaps since before. Half dressed, she looks into the mirror and applies her make-up, a little lipstick, some mascara, and little facial powder. Next to follow is her hair, as she always had it thus far, straighten out with bangs in the front to her eyebrows. She ties her short pony tail with a small bow. She opens up the night table stand's drawer, looking for various items to put in her purse. Brushing aside the unwanted stuff, her hand sits a hard metal object. She reaches in to get it out. It is my gun, a .45 caliber Smith and Wesson, fully loaded but with the safety on. She carefully looks at it, pulling back on the sliding mechanism, seeing the bullet inside. She slides it back into place, and puts the gun back in the drawer and closes it. Next, she goes into the closet to take out her little black dress that she wears to parties and special occasions. Even putting her control top pantyhose hours ago, she has a little difficulty with putting on her dress. Being just almost 5 months pregnant and barely showing, but just enough to have certain articles of clothing a bit tighter than usual for her. On a hook in the closet, she grabs a brightly coloured embriodered black leather belt, studded with minature spikes and rhinestones which used to be mine back in high school. She takes the belt around her waist and puts it on. Lastly, she puts on her matching black shoes before grabbing her jacket and purse. She takes the phone and calls her sisters at her parents house to check on the baby, and promises to return for him the next day. She walks out of the house to a rendezvous with Randal. It would be the last set of known events of Cathy's life. That night, the weather was predicted to be partly cloudy, with temperatures dropping to the low 30's from the unseasonal high 40's of during the day. How wrong the weather people were, when around 11:30pm, it starts to snow with the temperature dropping into the low teens. It would snow for 3 more days, non-stop and temperatures in the single digits. The Blizzard of '83 would shut down the city for several days. |