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Jumping to Conclusions
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Styx
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Joined: 25 Dec 2002
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Location: West Covina, California

PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 12:58 am    Post subject: Jumping to Conclusions Reply with quote

Well furs I have been talking about the Clarence & Cindy story I've been working on for almost two years now. I am very pleased (and extremely nervous) to announce that I have just put chapter one of Jumping to Conclusions on my website, the link is in my sig you can find it in the "My Writings" section I hope you all enjoy please let me know what you think. Oh just a few things to get you interested.

Clarence is gravely wounded and fighting to live Crying or Very sad

One of the Clique is responsible Shocked

No, it was not an accident Twisted Evil

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Cateagle
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 5:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

As one of the editors of this story, I can only encourage everyone to go read it and comment. I found it quite moving.
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Nameless
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Joined: 06 Sep 2002
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 5:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

To be honest, I found Susan's reaction more than a little unbelievable and way too trigger-happy.

And you really should break up those over-long paragraphs, they are unpleasant to read as it is. You don't have to insert blank lines, just a few line breaks, to break up the "block" shape a little.

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Styx
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 12:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Actually Chris told me that he could easily see Susan reacting in that manor although maybe not with Clarence so I guess it is a bit of a stretch. Um sorry for my ignorance but what do you mean by line break.
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Nameless
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 2:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Actually, that is what I think as well. She knows Clarence, so I doubt that she would think that if he admitted that "he went too far". There are males who think that just about anything short of actually beating a femme into submission is an okay tactic for getting into her pants. If it had been someone like that, then I could have understood it.

What I meant by line breaks is this (press Return or Shift+Return in Word, this'll give you two different types):

What you have looks like this:

xxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxx

You don't have to do (like in the rest of the story):

xxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxx

xxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxx

But you can do:

xxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxx

That makes it a bit easier to read.

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Styx
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 2:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I see, as to Susan knowing Clarence. Does she really? I mean the impression I got is that Cindy is the only one who really got to know him the others merely tolerated his presence but he was not considered a friend maybe an acquaintance but not one they knew well. Given Clarence's choice of words and Susan knowing that Cindy intended to wait till she married you can see how she might get the wrong idea.
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Styx
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 5:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Meh, I'm starting to see why Mike prefers to use PDF files on the Bookshelf. In trying fix up the blocky look of the longer paragraphs I can see the advantage of the format, every time I get the text looking the way I want it and save the file when I open it in my browser it looks different so I decided to print the word file to PDF problem solved of course that means furs will need to have the Acrobat Reader installed but I think most already have it anyway. Nameless would you mind going back and checking it again to see if it looks better now, thanks.
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Aramis Dagaz
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 9:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have to agree that Susan's reaction came as a complete surprise to me, especially that Clarence is the type of fur who most people wouldn't think capable of such things. However, could Susan have a very strong reactions towards issues such as rape and sexual assault? Perhaps she had to deal with this sometime in the past, such as fending off someone or having a friend who had been raped? Or she could just very well not tolerate those actions period, even without a past experience. In which case, possibly coupled with a lack of really knowing Clarence and a fierce protectiveness, could explain her sudden change in behavior.

The only problem with that line of thinking is that unless Susan hadn't seen or heard from Cindy since the incident between Cindy and Clare, you'd think that Susan would notice that nothing traumatic had happened to the rabbit.

It's certainly a gripping story right off the bat, but some deeper explaination in future chapters would help explain what is going on. After all, the first few chapters are not necessarily supposed to explain things to the reader, but hook them like fish.

<gingerly fingers the hook lodged in his cheek> I hope my tetinus shot is still current...

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Henry_Hound
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 10:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't think any of the clique but Cindy knows Clarence all that well. All they see is the shy stuttering skunk. They don't know what he could be like in private. And as for how far Susan went, I think she would go that far if she thought one of her friends had been raped. Even farther. So I don't find it that hard to believe that Susan jumped to that conclusion and did that much damage.

I also wonder how Susan will react when she learns what really happened. Cause she'll have to live with the fact that she could have killed/did kill Clarence over a misunderstanding without finding out what really happened first.

Great story Styx, hope you don't keep us waiting too long for the next chapter.

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Styx
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PostPosted: Sun Feb 06, 2005 12:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well heh, thanks for the kind words as for how long till the next chapter the story is complete and edited but I only plan to post one chapter a week on fridays Twisted Evil
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Nameless
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PostPosted: Sun Feb 06, 2005 4:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Styx wrote:
Nameless would you mind going back and checking it again to see if it looks better now, thanks.

Sorry, no. I only read PDF stories in very special cases. (The only stories that come to mind right now are Cirrel's.)

Compared to all the other formatting issues, having a few of those extra-long paragraphs is a minor detail.

I don't mind messing around with the HTML for a few minutes to make it more pleasantly readable, but I can't do that when the story is a PDF.
I hate indented paragraphs (they are okay in a paper-back book, but they are bad on bigger paper and they really look stupid if there are several one-line paragraphs in a row), I don't like the fancy quotes, I don't like a bit but not too much extra space between paragraphs and I really prefer the Arial front for screen reading.
I can fix all those things when I have a HTML, but I can't when it is in PDF.

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Styx
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 11, 2005 4:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just to let you know Chapter two is now up.
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Styx
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 11, 2005 5:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ok I'll send you the DOC files for 1 & 2
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Styx
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 18, 2005 4:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Chapter three is up!
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 4:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Chapter four up and waitting
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