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Act IV CHapter 1
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Nameless
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PostPosted: Sun May 09, 2004 7:51 am    Post subject: Act IV CHapter 1 Reply with quote

Surprised Very Happy It's here already!

[Read the chapter first before going on here!]

And Zig is going free. Most likely, that is, they don't know anything about what happened to Arden yet.

And now we know what "happened" to Sheila.
Seems my last guess was rather good... Very Happy
But there are two interesting points:
*) It seems that one year has passed since she disappeared, while only nine months passed for her. I'm looking forward to their explanation for this. And, unless she spent some time (at least three months) with Arden before being "recruited" into that brothel, someone might notice a little inconsistency...
*) The state of her fur makes me wonder. If someone kept her as a sex slave, he would probably make sure she is properly groomed, even if she has been abused and hurt.

I guess we'll have to wait for the next chapter to find out more about her story.

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webkilla
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PostPosted: Sun May 09, 2004 8:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

*does a lil happy dance

YA! Very Happy

and nameless: A sex slave doesn't have to well kept, just think of the logic behind it: If they found out she was pregnant they probably didn't want to use her - so they just abused her instead (that is of course not what really happened, we know that, but it'll probably be her story)

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Nameless
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PostPosted: Sun May 09, 2004 10:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

webkilla wrote:
and nameless: A sex slave doesn't have to well kept, just think of the logic behind it: If they found out she was pregnant they probably didn't want to use her - so they just abused her instead (that is of course not what really happened, we know that, but it'll probably be her story)

Of course they don't have to keep her clean and pretty. But unless the only thing they did to her was beat her, most furs would prefer her to be reasonably clean.
Then again, someone who is sick enough to keep his private slave harem might have different tastes...

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hikaru
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PostPosted: Sun May 09, 2004 1:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Never let it be said I don't give credit where credit's due....

Smoky Joe wrote:
Does time pass differently while in different dimensions? Like 9 months in Ruddygore's universe might only equate to a few months in Sheila's world, or something.

Just another monkey wrench to throw in the works for those of us trying to figure out this story. Very Happy


OK Smokey Joe, I rethought my idea about timelines after reading that and went ahead and shifted the time-line a bit in Sheila's old world. It gave me a TRULY evil twist that was going to be lacking for the plot.

webkilla wrote:
and nameless: A sex slave doesn't have to well kept, just think of the logic behind it: If they found out she was pregnant they probably didn't want to use her - so they just abused her instead (that is of course not what really happened, we know that, but it'll probably be her story)

Exactly. Once they found out she was preggers, the premise is that they weren't into using her for that any more... She had "other" uses after that until she pops at which point she'd probably go back into service...

Glad y'all enjoyed it.

Cheers

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Nameless
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PostPosted: Sun May 09, 2004 1:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

One thing I'm wondering about...

Unless Lucy implanted memories in the other furs there, none of them will have any memories of Sheila being there. The masters of the "brothel" may not be believed if they claim that she was never there / that they had not abducted her (possibly killing Arden in the process, Sheila will need some explanation of what happened to him), but unless all the sex slaves there were kept in solitary confinement, it would be strange if the other femmes there don't have any memories of her.

I still find it strange that they would not use her as a sex slave, even if she was preggers. Some males find pregnant femmes very attractive Embarassed and there are plenty of ways she could have been used, even if they did not want to endanger her kits by raping her.
Another thing...
If she was abducted before her pregnancy showed, then I would find it rather likely that they would have performed an abortion. I'm sure they had some doctors on call to do it, and they would (probably) not have cared about any laws against it. Of course, they might have some twisted morals that would allow them to keep a femme as a sex slave, but not allow them to perform an abortion, but...

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hikaru
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PostPosted: Sun May 09, 2004 3:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Boy, I'd love to answer your questions, but tha would let too many cats out of the bag.

HOWEVER! That said, I will give you this one POSSIBLE clue: If there were people who wanted Sheila's kits in Ruddygore's world, who's to say there aren't those who might want them in her home world too?

I'll let you chew on that one for a bit. Twisted Evil

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Styx
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PostPosted: Sun May 09, 2004 3:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think I may have spotted an inconsistency in chapter 50 in Act III and Act IV chapter 1. A couple times Arden is referred to as Arden Bearridge but in Act I it is established that Arden Bearridge is Sheila's world’s native Arden who was killed at the same moment of our Arden's appearance in that same realm and our Arden called himself Arden Nanuk. Despite that though I thought it was a great opening I wonder if as Nameless mentioned Lucy had to make certain alterations to others in Sheila's world so that her alibi would stand up, and some how Khansman was discovered to be responsible for Sheila's predicament and Arden’s death. Twisted Evil
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PostPosted: Sun May 09, 2004 4:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Actually, Arden's real name is Arden Eastridge, but he'd come to consider himself Arden Bearridge since that was his name in that reality.

The courts refer to him officially as John Doe as they never could absolutely identify him for obvious reasons. The courts and press go with Arden Nanuk because that's what he declared his name to be to the press that one time.

Yes, it may come off as an inconsistancy, but in the grand scheme of things, it's all about perception and won't effect the plot mechanics.

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webkilla
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PostPosted: Sun May 09, 2004 4:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

ppl in the 'real' world wanting his kids?

Well there were those kids who summoned hekate, so some kind of magic must be posible... (although from what I understood/remember then that was in the hy00man world)

and perhaps khany (our favorite tiger) has had some connections to these gambinis? (he might wonder why they'd pick have picked her up?)

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PostPosted: Sun May 09, 2004 5:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The kids who summoned Hecate were on Earth Prime in the Husquahar reality, not Sheila's home realm. Smile
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Hortmage
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PostPosted: Sun May 09, 2004 6:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Veeeeeeerrrrrrrry interrrrresting....

I have high hopes that Khan and his mafia affiliations will be revealed...but I doubt it will happen quickly, or at all. In fact, I'm willing to guess that most of this Act will revolve around Sheila, Zig, Arden (maybe) dodging the evil, twistiness of Khan and the mafia. Twisted Evil I mean...there's no way Khan is going to let his whole case go down the drain because of Sheila's unfortunate "liveliness". (Not to mention that the brothel thing may expose his mafia connections...can't have that!)



On another note:

Hikaru: With all due respect, and with my highest regards for your fine story, you may want to have another look at the editing job. While SpellCheck is good, there are a number of words that slipped through that don't make too much sense. I hope, for example, that you are "wiling" to take this in a humorous vein....



Quote:
"I'm sorry, Ma'am, but David's going to be running a bit late," Michael said, immediately flinching from the stripped skunk's reaction.


Actually, I'd be more worried about my...um... reaction, if Zig Zag had just started to strip in front of me (and I realize she's not a fox... Rolling Eyes )

Quote:
"Back again, Zig?" a burley German Sheppard officer asked,


"Burley" is a type of tobacco; I'm thinking you wanted to comment about the "burly" officer's muscles, right? (BTW: using Dictionary.com for "burly", I got the following definition: "Heavy, strong, and muscular; husky." Maybe we should change the guard's species? If not to a husky, then possibly to German Shepherd? Very Happy )

Quote:
Really?" the guard asked, cocking his head slightly before letting out a good laugh. "Good one, Zig! Good one. Good luck with the trail."


I didn't realize Zig was into hiking...would be kind of difficult, with high heels... Wink (EDIT: And I can't believe the censor caught that...)

Quote:
"You son of a bitch!" the tiger stripped skunk growled


Quote:
"Whoa," the tiger stripped skunk hoarsely whispered


<sigh> Well, what can you expect with a porn star?

[EDIT] Evil or Very Mad Even a p0rn star should be able to talk about her business without being censored.... Evil or Very Mad

Quote:
"That'll be enough, counselor," the judge said, warning the zebra. The judge looked at the tabby and nodded. "All right, Mr. Leery. Let's here it."



...As long was he doesn't "there" it...

Quote:
"I'd like to remind the journey that you are still under orders not to discuss the trial with anyone


Ah...this must be the "trail" refered to earlier... Smile (Sorry, Hikaru...but this was the error that got me going in the first place....)

Quote:
Our lady of the lime light, Zig Zag, managed to pull a magic rabbit out of her hat today when her lawyer asked for a continuance from the judge and it was granted! Now, I can here you asking yourselves 'Why on earth would he do that?'


Limelight is usually one word, if you are refering to being in the spotlight. "Here" again...


Quote:
Doug ordered as he opened the cabinet doors that hid the television across from James's desk.


Ok, this is one of the stupid laws of English grammer I never agreed with. Just because someone's name ends in an "s" doesn't mean that you should change the rule of showing possessiveness. But, some ancient English-speaking ninny decreed it thus, so we're stuck with it. (You do get it correct a couple of lines further down, though).

Quote:
"So far, the FBI is refusing to comment on the situation, which in and of itself is almost a confirmation that they do indeed have Miss Vixen; they're just not wiling to talk about it yet."


Already picked on earlier.

Quote:
"Indeed so, Jack, and it's quite interesting timing if I might say so myself," the mink said with a smile as Jack slid off the screed


I've slid off my seat while listening to a politician's "screed" ("A long monotonous speech"), but that doesn't quite work here....




Hikaru -- I hope you take all of this with a grain of salt and a spoonful of sugar... I sincerely love your story, and I don't usually nitpick spelling and grammar....but after the first "biggy" leapt out at me, I couldn't help but seek out the others.... Embarassed

I blame the fact that I just finished a 300 mile journey (jury?) back from my in-laws on my emotional state, which prompted me to post this at all... Confused[/img]

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hikaru
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PostPosted: Sun May 09, 2004 8:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hortmage wrote:
On another note:

Hikaru: With all due respect, and with my highest regards for your fine story, you may want to have another look at the editing job. While SpellCheck is good, there are a number of words that slipped through that don't make too much sense. I hope, for example, that you are "wiling" to take this in a humorous vein....


Keep in mind that both Jim Lane and msyelf read through and proof the story. I try to proof the story twice after I get it back from Jim, however my english sucks.

If you find ANY errors or mistakes in the story, PLEASE let me know what they are so I can fix them.

Thanks.


Hortmage wrote:
Quote:
Really?" the guard asked, *beep* his head slightly before letting out a good laugh. "Good one, Zig! Good one. Good luck with the trail."


I didn't realize Zig was into hiking...would be kind of difficult, with high heels... Wink (EDIT: And I can't believe the censor caught that...)

Tell me about it. The profanity filter is totally c0ckeyed.

Hortmage wrote:
Quote:
Doug ordered as he opened the cabinet doors that hid the television across from James's desk.


Ok, this is one of the stupid laws of English grammer I never agreed with. Just because someone's name ends in an "s" doesn't mean that you should change the rule of showing possessiveness. But, some ancient English-speaking ninny decreed it thus, so we're stuck with it. (You do get it correct a couple of lines further down, though).

That's one that I do look for and kick myself in the ass for missing.

Hortmage wrote:
Hikaru -- I hope you take all of this with a grain of salt and a spoonful of sugar... I sincerely love your story, and I don't usually nitpick spelling and grammar....but after the first "biggy" leapt out at me, I couldn't help but seek out the others.... Embarassed

I blame the fact that I just finished a 300 mile journey (jury?) back from my in-laws on my emotional state, which prompted me to post this at all... Confused[/img]


Don't sweat it. I appreciate the fixes. There aren't enough people who do that as it is.

Of course, the fact that I posted the chatper at 1AM after having to make 20 new buttons for my web page AND re-coding said web page..... well.... I can see why I screwed up so bad, though that's not an excuse.

Thanks for the heads up. If you find more in the future, please don't hesitate to let me know.

Cheers

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Styx
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PostPosted: Sun May 09, 2004 11:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
That's one that I do look for and kick myself in the ass for missing.


I noticed the censor din't catch that Razz

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PostPosted: Mon May 10, 2004 4:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Styx wrote:
Quote:
That's one that I do look for and kick myself in the ass for missing.


I noticed the censor din't catch that Razz


I seriously think the censor is alive, and only censors words that don't need to be censored. XD

Strange, but true.
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PostPosted: Mon May 10, 2004 6:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

STOP CENSORING ME!!! Laughing
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