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Bearion Registered User
Joined: 01 Jun 2002 Posts: 278 Location: Bay Area, California
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Posted: Fri Aug 22, 2003 11:58 am Post subject: |
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Another good chapter, Nameless! Very believable up to the point where Sarah insisted they share a bed...um, I can't see that as it IS her parents home, she IS their little girl (age has nothing to do with it), and she IS unmarried at the moment... <grin>
I agree with Concolor: Chris is going to need all the friends in his corner he can get! Going "public" has it's own dangers however as the loss of privacy comes with being a celebrity. In the long run, the public has a short attention span if he can just wait it out.
Hmmmm....isn't Zig always on the lookout for celebrities? _________________ I'm out of my mind right now, but feel free to leave a message... |
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Nameless Site Owner
Joined: 06 Sep 2002 Posts: 1368 Location: Vienna, Austria
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Posted: Fri Aug 22, 2003 12:05 pm Post subject: |
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Bearion wrote: | Hmmmm....isn't Zig always on the lookout for celebrities? |
Hmmm, do you think he should start running right about now ? _________________ I'm a nut, but there are those who appreciate me for it. |
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Nameless Site Owner
Joined: 06 Sep 2002 Posts: 1368 Location: Vienna, Austria
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Posted: Fri Aug 22, 2003 1:29 pm Post subject: |
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Bearion wrote: | Another good chapter, Nameless! Very believable up to the point where Sarah insisted they share a bed...um, I can't see that as it IS her parents home, she IS their little girl (age has nothing to do with it), and she IS unmarried at the moment... <grin> |
Hmmm, I'm not sure. I can easily understand that her parents don't approve, but I'm not sure it would make that much difference to Sarah whether she is her parents' house or somewhere else.
But then again, what do I really know about these things. _________________ I'm a nut, but there are those who appreciate me for it. |
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Bearion Registered User
Joined: 01 Jun 2002 Posts: 278 Location: Bay Area, California
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Posted: Fri Aug 22, 2003 7:17 pm Post subject: |
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Nameless wrote: | Bearion wrote: | Another good chapter, Nameless! Very believable up to the point where Sarah insisted they share a bed...um, I can't see that as it IS her parents home, she IS their little girl (age has nothing to do with it), and she IS unmarried at the moment... <grin> |
Hmmm, I'm not sure. I can easily understand that her parents don't approve, but I'm not sure it would make that much difference to Sarah whether she is her parents' house or somewhere else.
But then again, what do I really know about these things. |
I just remember what MY parents told ME when I was 18+...and how I would feel about it with my kids. I'm old fashioned I guess, but it comes down to respect for the parents. It IS their HOME, and they make the rules. But you could chalk this up to baggage we all carry with us, too.
In Sarah's time and place, it might be OK...so take my comment with a pound of salt. _________________ I'm out of my mind right now, but feel free to leave a message... |
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Nameless Site Owner
Joined: 06 Sep 2002 Posts: 1368 Location: Vienna, Austria
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Posted: Sat Aug 23, 2003 3:23 am Post subject: |
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Bearion wrote: | In Sarah's time and place, it might be OK...so take my comment with a pound of salt. |
Well, you have to remember that at that point in time Sarah was pretty angry with her parents for the way they treated Chris.
(They get there after a six hour drive and her father starts interrogating him without even offering him a drink first.) _________________ I'm a nut, but there are those who appreciate me for it. |
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Styx Site Owner
Joined: 25 Dec 2002 Posts: 3176 Location: West Covina, California
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Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2003 2:35 pm Post subject: |
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Good chapter I really liked this one a really tense moment with the parents I must say though I was a little surprised at Sarah's relatively timid response when her father referred to any future children she and Chris might have as "monstrosities" I somehow how imagined a somewhat stronger response but then she may well still be intimidated by her parents even at her age, I am very glad that the issue does seem to have been concluded on a positive note. Now I do have one bit of advice umm and I do realize that this is really petty and nit picking and I wouldn't mention it except that I have a real anal compulsive sort of need for things like this so please just ignore it if you like it in no way interferes with my enjoyment of the story but.... this story is taking place in the U.S. and is centered on Characters born in the U.S. so Sarah would be addressing her mother as "Mom" rather then "Mum" as is used in the U.K. It's a rather stupid thing to point out I know, as I said I only mention it out of a compulsive need (I'm really upset with my folks for doing this to me too) so again ignore it if you like either way it's still a great story. _________________ "Political Correctness is tyranny with manners." Charlton Heston
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Nameless Site Owner
Joined: 06 Sep 2002 Posts: 1368 Location: Vienna, Austria
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Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2003 2:44 pm Post subject: |
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Styx wrote: | but.... this story is taking place in the U.S. and is centered on Characters born in the U.S. so Sarah would be addressing her mother as "Mom" rather then "Mum" as is used in the U.K. |
Well, chalk it up to me not being a native speaker. And to writing about things I don't really know anything about.
I know that there are plenty of differences between UK and US usage but I did not know about that one. Well, I am always glad when someone points such mistakes out to me. I'm not sure if I will change the story, but it is good to know.
(And there are always people who use their language a bit different than most others around them, often for very personal reasons.) _________________ I'm a nut, but there are those who appreciate me for it. |
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mwalimu Registered User
Joined: 08 Nov 2002 Posts: 782 Location: Normal, IL
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Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2003 4:04 pm Post subject: |
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Although 'Mom' is more common this side of the Atlantic, one does hear 'Mum' from time to time. I wouldn't consider it an error as is. Sort of like using 'row' (rhymes with 'cow') to mean a fight or argument.
For what it's worth, I believe 'Mum' is also the more common term down under.
By the way, I just recently read this story. My first thought was something like you have a thing for squirrels named Sarah, don't you, but I've enjoyed what you've written so far. _________________ mwalimu
My webpage -*-*- My LiveJournal
Badgers and mushrooms and snakes, oh my! |
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Nameless Site Owner
Joined: 06 Sep 2002 Posts: 1368 Location: Vienna, Austria
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Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2003 11:58 pm Post subject: |
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mwalimu wrote: | My first thought was something like you have a thing for squirrels named Sarah, don't you, but I've enjoyed what you've written so far. |
From the FAQ from the other story where "she" appears:
FAQ wrote: |
Is Sara the same person as Sarah from SiasfL ?
No, Yes, Maybe.
When I was waiting for the permissions to use the characters by other authors in my other story "SiasfL", at one point I became quite depressed and despaired of ever being able to put that story up. So I began to think about other ways to use my characters. This is what I came up with in the middle of the night.
And then my muse would not stop whipping me until I wrote this down. |
Apart from that...
Well, I do have a thing for squirrels (and most others that have a pretty tail). _________________ I'm a nut, but there are those who appreciate me for it. |
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Cateagle Site Owner
Joined: 20 Nov 2000 Posts: 1004 Location: Ft. Worth, TX
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Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2003 12:21 am Post subject: |
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Nameless wrote: | Well, I do have a thing for squirrels (and most others that have a pretty tail). |
*Exceedingly Big Evil Grin* Well, that's one taste we definitely have in common.
Cheers,
Cateagle _________________ "But the wildest of all the wild animals was the Cateagle. He walked by himself and all places were alike to him."
-- With apologies to Rudyard Kipling |
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Furry wolf2001b Guest
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Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2003 4:35 pm Post subject: |
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Cateagle wrote: | Nameless wrote: | Well, I do have a thing for squirrels (and most others that have a pretty tail). |
*Exceedingly Big Evil Grin* Well, that's one taste we definitely have in common.
Cheers,
Cateagle |
Got it in common with -alot- of males. |
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Nameless Site Owner
Joined: 06 Sep 2002 Posts: 1368 Location: Vienna, Austria
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Posted: Wed Sep 10, 2003 2:00 pm Post subject: |
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What the heck, chapter 11 is posted.
It's not nearly as polished as I would like, and it might seem a little contrieved in places, but so what.
Have fun.
One or two of my readers might be a little surprised by what happens in this chapter... _________________ I'm a nut, but there are those who appreciate me for it. |
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Cateagle Site Owner
Joined: 20 Nov 2000 Posts: 1004 Location: Ft. Worth, TX
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Posted: Wed Sep 10, 2003 2:30 pm Post subject: |
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::Chuckle:: You slipped some interesting surprises in there. You may not consdier it polished, but I found it quite a good read.
*two oposeable thumbs up*
Cateagle _________________ "But the wildest of all the wild animals was the Cateagle. He walked by himself and all places were alike to him."
-- With apologies to Rudyard Kipling |
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mwalimu Registered User
Joined: 08 Nov 2002 Posts: 782 Location: Normal, IL
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Posted: Wed Sep 10, 2003 5:02 pm Post subject: |
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Cateagle wrote: | ::Chuckle:: You slipped some interesting surprises in there. You may not consdier it polished, but I found it quite a good read.
*two oposeable thumbs up* |
One of the surprises, though unexpected, didn't have quite the same impact due to a very similar occurrence in one of your other stories (trying not to spoil it here for anyone who hasn't read the other story). Nevertheless, some interesting developments.
Two dewclaws up. _________________ mwalimu
My webpage -*-*- My LiveJournal
Badgers and mushrooms and snakes, oh my! |
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Concolor Registered User
Joined: 19 Nov 2001 Posts: 832 Location: South Carolina
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Posted: Wed Sep 10, 2003 7:23 pm Post subject: |
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That's a nice, even paw with the plot development, there! I'm dreadfully curious as to what the "good" Doctor wants with Chris.
Sarah's predicament strikes me as rather odd. Even given the "mirror-dimension" aspect of Chris' placement in Sarah's world, I'd have bet the farm there was no way she could get pregnant. If one accepts evolution at face value, there is more likelihood of Sarah being able to successfully mate with a radish than with someone from a different dimension.
But that's just my $0.02. _________________ Oddly enough, my life is based on a true story. (Ashleigh Brilliant) |
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