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Shadu Registered User
Joined: 21 May 2003 Posts: 336 Location: Barranquilla
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Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2005 10:10 am Post subject: OK guys i ask nicely, tell me what you think. |
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I rewrote most of an old story i had started cause i took it to a dead end. i kinda have the gist of whre i want to go wih it now but i'd like to see what you guys think. i just want to know if its a story you'd continue reading or if it is missing something to mak it more appealing. just read as much as you can (hopefuly all) and tell me what you think. any advice on what to do bettr is very apreciated though don't bother with grammar and stuff like tha i know i have many mistakes but right no im just putting ideas to words later i'll wory on beautifing the words. _________________ __________________
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Shadu Registered User
Joined: 21 May 2003 Posts: 336 Location: Barranquilla
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Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2005 10:12 am Post subject: |
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if there is any problem with the file let me know and i'll try to post it as another document format. _________________ __________________
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Asalis Registered User
Joined: 08 Oct 2004 Posts: 2020 Location: Fort Worth, Tx
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Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2005 12:09 pm Post subject: |
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YOu need Open Office which is a free download in order to open that file mike. As for the story thats one heck of a long prologue. Wish I had that much of a creative insentive it write chapters that long. oh well I guess 7 of 8 pages per chapter is good enough. I'll read it when I have the time.
http://www.openoffice.org/index.html _________________ Asalis: (uh*sah*lis)
We, dig, giant robots!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7PjQnw_E0U
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Shadu Registered User
Joined: 21 May 2003 Posts: 336 Location: Barranquilla
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Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2005 2:30 pm Post subject: |
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sorry bout the leangth i've been writing it for a while but i lost my internet when i intended to post it and i've been adding to it slowly while i waited for a way to post it. as for the format i'll see what i can do to convert it to a doc file its just that i decided to try out the Ubuntu linux system and i've been working on my story from there, the problem was, i never saw the change of format cause i was in a hurry to close up the first time i saved and just pressed ok to evrething. Somewhere around there i changed it to swx. _________________ __________________
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Shadu Registered User
Joined: 21 May 2003 Posts: 336 Location: Barranquilla
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Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 11:12 am Post subject: |
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ok i am again sorry for the first file lunder here i post again now in universal(i guess) doc format. _________________ __________________
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Chris Regan Registered User
Joined: 23 Jun 2001 Posts: 138 Location: Ridgecrest, Ca.
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2005 11:02 pm Post subject: Re: OK guys i ask nicely, tell me what you think. |
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Shadu wrote: | I rewrote most of an old story i had started cause i took it to a dead end. i kinda have the gist of whre i want to go wih it now but i'd like to see what you guys think. i just want to know if its a story you'd continue reading or if it is missing something to mak it more appealing. just read as much as you can (hopefuly all) and tell me what you think. any advice on what to do bettr is very apreciated though don't bother with grammar and stuff like tha i know i have many mistakes but right no im just putting ideas to words later i'll wory on beautifing the words. |
Hi Shadu,
I don't mean to sound hard, to begin with i is always capitallized so use the upper case I unless it is with another letter and not at the begining of a sentence. if it is use the capital I.
EX: I like strawberries.
EX: It was a cold night.
Second Get a dictionary and thesaurus. An a spelling and Grammar checker if your computer doesn't have them. You might want to invest in a book on grammar and a note book for story notes you may come up with during the day, these are tools that every writer should have. _________________ Read a book and let your imagination take take flight
Crystal Dragon Raccoon
Last edited by Chris Regan on Mon Dec 05, 2005 9:59 am; edited 2 times in total |
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Chris Regan Registered User
Joined: 23 Jun 2001 Posts: 138 Location: Ridgecrest, Ca.
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2005 11:31 pm Post subject: |
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Shadu wrote: | sorry bout the leangth i've been writing it for a while but i lost my internet when i intended to post it and i've been adding to it slowly while i waited for a way to post it. as for the format i'll see what i can do to convert it to a doc file its just that i decided to try out the Ubuntu linux system and i've been working on my story from there, the problem was, i never saw the change of format cause i was in a hurry to close up the first time i saved and just pressed ok to evrething. Somewhere around there i changed it to swx. |
HI Shadu,
Don't worry about it you had the file you knew what to do to fix it so its cool.
many of us rewrite stories many times till we fell they are right, we look at each other stories, you are amoung freinds.
I've downloaded it and will let you know what I think. _________________ Read a book and let your imagination take take flight
Crystal Dragon Raccoon |
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Shadu Registered User
Joined: 21 May 2003 Posts: 336 Location: Barranquilla
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Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2005 9:03 pm Post subject: Re: OK guys i ask nicely, tell me what you think. |
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Chris Regan wrote: |
Hi Shadu,
I don't mean to sound hard, to begin with i is always capitallized so use the upper case I unless it is with another letter and not at the begining of a sentence. if it is use the capital I.
EX: I like strawberries.
EX: It was a cold night.
Second Get a dictionary and thesaurus. An a spelling and Grammar checker if your coputer doesn't have them. You might want to invest in a book on grammar and a note book for story notes you may come up with during the day, these are tools that every writer should have. |
Sorry bout that. I really am used to word autocorrecting those things and I've yet to correct some problems with the openoffice dictionarry and autocorrect features so i might have many mistakes that are not underlined(the red thingy) so i just don't check'em but i will eventually go over the whole thing with the proper dictionaries and all that i want to make this a worth reading storry and i know the negative effect bad grammar an spelling have on an otherwise good story. _________________ __________________
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Shadu Registered User
Joined: 21 May 2003 Posts: 336 Location: Barranquilla
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Posted: Tue Nov 22, 2005 11:04 am Post subject: |
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so i finally fixed everything now im just waitng for any comments. i guess i'll just keep waitg since i know its a very big chapter. not yet finished but i don't think its missing more than a few pages. _________________ __________________
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Chris Regan Registered User
Joined: 23 Jun 2001 Posts: 138 Location: Ridgecrest, Ca.
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Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2005 9:50 am Post subject: |
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Hi Shadu,
I'm sorry to take so long to get back to you.
I have gone though some of your story it wouldn’t be bad as a first draft but as a final draft it needs a lot of work, for the most part you do okay at setting up your scenes.
When you are writing you should be seeing the story in your mind, I think of it like short videos in my mind some times it takes many tries to get it down on paper or computer. My view on a story is a good story give food for thought a great story pulls you in as if you are a fly on the wall watching everything unfolds.
What I see wrong with your story is grammar & spelling errors, some areas that could be fleshed out more, places were you have two characters speak on the same line, extra words that could be removed for a clearer sentience in places.
If you want help let me know and we can go though the story. _________________ Read a book and let your imagination take take flight
Crystal Dragon Raccoon |
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