Planetfurry BBS

[mrblanche]

[Superlagg]

[Superlagg]

I have finished redoing chapter 9 (Which due to chapter merging is now chapter 7) and wow. I went from kinda liking that chapter to loving it. I changed almost everything in it, changing a bogus ending into an ending alot better then it was before. Il post ot when I am done redoing all the chapters.

Cheers to ye!

[Superlagg]

Well, with all my renovating and improvements, I have merged 10 shortish meh chapters into 6 longer, more interesting chapters! I removed all the chapters from the site I was posting them at, and posted the revised chapters. I am far from done, mind you, I still have many chapters to go.

Enjoy!

[mrblanche]

Here are the first 2 paragraphs (made into 3, for grammatical reason) of your prologue. Take a look at them, and tell me if you see the changes I made, and why I made them.

---------------------------

Timothy Mankert is an Ent, a small pseudo-energy being that has the ability to manipulate physical objects in the universe. Tim is over 800 billion years old, and has the ability to inhabit and control a sentient creature by residing inside its skull and controlling the electrical and chemical impulses inside its brain, allowing total control over the creature’s voluntary and involuntary functions. The strain from maintaining the creature disallows most, but not all, of the Ent’s abilities while using the creature.

Tim came to the Milky Way galaxy and arrived on Earth in the mid 1950's. He set down in a town somewhere on the North American continent. You may know this place as Roswell, New Mexico. As soon as he arrived, he needed to find a replacement body for the one that was pretty much destroyed when the Myg0t forced him out of the Quantium galaxy. Tim found a body that he liked on a nearby airbase running laps around the designated area. His name was Ivan Spramberson, a man in his 20's who stands about 5’11” tall.

"Yes, that is a good one," Tim thought. He waited until Ivan was alone and unprotected. But, then again, why would it matter? They couldn’t hurt Tim, not even the slightest bit! Well, anyway, just as Ivan got to a place where he was alone, Tim moved in to take the body. It was noonish, and the sun was in his eyes, so the man didn’t see Tim until it was too late. He entered Ivan’s skull and assumed total control of the body. Ivan didn’t fight Tim, nor could he. Tim effectively took total control of Ivan in every aspect imaginable.

[Superlagg]

[Superlagg]

Chapter 11 parts 1-3 have been redone and posted as chapter 7! Enjoy!

http://cribs2.com/bbs/viewforum.php?f=1

[mrblanche]

[Superlagg]

Now playing at http://cribs2.com/bbs/viewforum.php?f=1

The Adventures Timothy Mankert Across Time and Space!

See it now.

[mrblanche]

Grammar Rules!!!

Well, OK, it may not rule, but it certainly regulates our daily speech and writing, ensuring that our communications will be understandable to those with whom we communicate. Each of the following rules breaks the rule it states. If you look at a rule, and it looks OK to you, that just means you don't understand the rule. These are from a number of sources, including me!

HUMOROUS GRAMMAR RULES

1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.

2. Never use a preposition to end a sentence with. Winston Churchill, corrected on this error once, responded to the young man who corrected him by saying "Young man, that is the kind of impudence up with which I will not put!

3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.

4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)

6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.

7. Be more or less specific.

8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.

9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies endlessly over and over again

10. No sentence fragments.

11. Contractions aren't always necessary and shouldn't be used to excess so don’t.

12. Foreign words and phrases are not always apropos.

13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous and can be excessive

14. All generalizations are bad.

15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

16. Don't use no double negatives.

17. Avoid excessive use of ampersands & abbrevs., etc.

18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake (Unless they are as good as gold).

20. The passive voice is to be ignored.

21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words, however, should be enclosed in commas.

22. Never use a big word when substituting a diminutive one would suffice. Eschew obfuscation.

23. Don’t overuse exclamation points!!!

24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.

25. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas

26. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed and use it correctly with words’ that show possession.

27. Don’t use too many quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations.. Tell me what you know."

28. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a billion times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly. Besides, hyperbole is always overdone, anyway.

29. Puns are for children, not groan readers.

30. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

31. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

32. Who needs rhetorical questions? However, what if there were no rhetorical questions?

33. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

34. Avoid "buzz-words"; such integrated transitional scenarios complicate simplistic matters

35. People don’t spell "a lot" correctly alot of the time.

36. Each person should use their possessive pronouns correctly

37. All grammar and spelling rules have exceptions (with a few exceptions)....Morgan’s Law.

38. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

39. The dash – a sometimes useful punctuation mark – can often be overused – even though it’s a helpful tool some of the time.

40. Proofread carefully to make sure you don’t repeat repeat any words.

41. In writing, it’s important to remember that dangling sentences.

41. When numbering in a written document, check your numbering system carefully.

42. It is important to use italics for emphasis sparingly.

43. In good writing, for good reasons, under normal circumstances, whenever you can, use prepositional phrases in limited numbers and with great caution.

44. Avoid going out on tangents unrelated to your subject -- not the subject of a sentence -- that's another story (like the stories written by Ernest Hemingway, who by the way wrote the great fisherman story The Old Man and the Sea).

45. Complete sentences. Like rule 10.

46. Unless you're a righteous expert don't try to be too cool with slang to which you're not hip.

47. If you must use slang, avoid out-of-date slang. Right on!

48. You'll look poorly if you misuse adverbs.

49. Use the ellipsis ( . . . ) to indicate missing . . .

50. Use brackets to indicate that you [ not Shakespeare, for example ] are giving people [ in your class ] information so that they [ the people in your class ] know about whom you are speaking. But do not use brackets when making these references [ to other authors ] excessively.

51. Note: People just can't stomach too much use of the colon.

52. Between good grammar and bad grammar, good grammar is the best.

53. There are so many great grammar rules that I can't decide between them.

54. In English, unlike German, the verb early in the sentence, not later, should be placed.

55. When you write sentences, shifting verb tense is bad.

56. When dangling, watch your participles.

[Superlagg]

Now playing at http://cribs2.com/bbs/viewforum.php?f=1

The Adventures Timothy Mankert Across Time and Space Chapter 10!

See it now.

This is the end of the remakes, so new chapters will happen at a slower pace.

Enjoy!

[Superlagg]

Chapter 11 is now done and posted!

http://cribs2.com/bbs/viewtopic.php?t=115

Enjoy!

[Superlagg]

Chapter 12 has been completed and is posted at http://cribs2.com/bbs/viewforum.php?f=1.

Enjoy!

[Superlagg]

http://www.fictionpress.com/~superlagg

Chapter 13 is done and posted!

And I have a new location!

[Superlagg]

Now playing at FictionPress.com,

The Adventures of Timothy Mankert across Time and Space!

Chapter 15!

See it now I say I say.