A Fox's Tale
By Joshua Fox
Susan Felin, Debbye Squirrel, Cindy Lapine, Clarence Skunk, Chris Foxx, Rodney Lapine and Wanda the Vixen are copyright Chris Yost. Zig Zag and Max the Black Rabbit are copyright Max the Black Rabbit. Sabrina Mustelidae, Tabitha Mustelidae, Tammy Vixen, Sheila Vixen, Tor the Dog and Amy Squirrel are copyright Eric W. Schwartz. Lilian Bartholomew, James Sheppard, Rhonda Badger and Tamara Rabbit are copyright James Bruner. Marvin Badger is copyright James Bruner after a description by Chris Yost. Robert Fale, Joshua Fox, Jim Leard, Ralph Dix, Shawna Coon, Kris Coon, Aaron Cole, John Anderson, Wilde Cat and Tara Nadine are copyright Joshua Fox. Blue Wolfe, Kyrin Cat and Kittiara Seng are copyright themselves. Thomas Woolfe is copyright Mike Higgs.
Legal Notice: This story is copyright 2001 by Joshua Fox. This story may not be sold or used for commercial profit in any form or fashion. This story may not be modified in any way. This story may not be posted on a mirror site or any Internet site without the written permission of the author. This story may not be distributed on print, magnetic, electrical or optical mediums.
Permission to use characters that are copyright other individuals was obtained prior to the appearance of said characters.
This is an independent work of fiction with no connection whatsoever to any other stories or works by anyone else and does not imply any connection to the before-said sources. As far as these sources are concerned, this story does not exist. They disavow any knowledge and do not officially sanction the events in the story.
Chapter 6 - Working up to the choking point
Josh bounced up as the car hit another bump, once again knocking his head up against the roof. He grumbled under his breath and rubbed his head, it having been thumped so many times now Josh thought he would eventually punch right through the roof. Blue, sitting in the front, appeared to take quite a bit of humor in it, chuckling after every time it happened.
Josh stopped rubbing, throwing a kidding glare to Blue. "Why do you find that so dang funny?"
Blue turned around and grinned at him. "You get the cutest expression when you do that. Reminds me of an old boyfriend of mine-," Blue was interrupted by Rob.
"Hey, hey, hey! I thought we had an agreement: I drive us and Blue doesn’t bring up boyfriends, his dates or anything that might pertain to who, what or how he dates. Right, Josh?" Rob looked back quickly as he waited for the light to turn.
Josh took another moment for a chuckle. "Yeah, Rob, that was the deal. Sorry, Blue, but you gotta move on to another topic," Josh grinned at Blue’s pouty expression.
"Aw, no fair. Rob, why don’t you like hearing about my dating life?"
Rob, still waiting, kept his eyes on the red light. "Why? Because every time you get into it, the conversation always turns to things I just don’t want to know about!" Rob looked both ways and pushed the accelerator as the light finally turned green. "I wouldn’t even mind if you just told about how they were, but when you start getting into size and style and form, I just don’t want anything like that in my mind."
Blue grinned evilly after hearing Rob’s explaination. "You don’t want to hear any details, but you still want to know HOW they were?" Blue just about cracked up right there, Rob grimacing slightly as he drove on.
"Gee, thanks for that image, Blue," Rob said sarcastically, trying to think of ANYTHING that would remove that from his thoughts.
Blue just grinned. "You’re welcome, Robbie. But enjoy it now, because the next time I’m chargin' ya!"
Josh decided to speak up before Rob started freaking out again. "Okay, Blue, you’ve tortured Rob enough. You can tell me about your old boyfriend, but keep it limited to things that won't make Rob's skin crawl, okay?"
Blue frowned for a moment, but that quickly changed back to his familiar grin. "Okay, then. I remember when I was first dating him he was really nice. He would take me anywhere I wanted to go, even if he hated them. He always brought me flowers, too."
Rob raised an eyebrow for a moment, Blue’s usual teasing oddly absent. When it didn't surface, Rob's brow went down and he drove on. As he drove the rest of the way, he actually began listening and being interested in Blue’s description. After Josh had pointed out a good parking space in the mall parking lot, something that Josh always seemed to be able to do, Rob parked the car. As the three got out and walked towards the huge shopping complex, Blue was still going on about his old boyfriend.
"He was also a real barbecue nut. You should have seen the way he would wolf down a hot dog," Blue turned and winked at Josh, who knew dang well what Blue was doing.
"Well, that worked out quite well for you, then. You’d eat every hot dog on the planet if you got the chance," Josh kept his expression in check, awaiting Blue’s next words.
Blue grinned at Josh and stole a very quick glance to Rob, who actually appeared to be listening intently and apparently had no clue about what was about to hit him. "Well, I can’t argue with that, but you should have seen what he could do with a spatula." Blue stopped briefly, almost as if savoring the moment. "I remember the first time he gave me the biggest, thickest, juiciest foot long I’d ever seen," Blue whipped around to catch the full view of Rob’s reaction. He wasn’t disappointed.
Rob stopped dead in his tracks, hunching his shoulders and squinting his eyes tight as his mouth dropped open. "GAH! Euw! Euw! Euw! I don’t want to hear that!" Rob went on as such, much to Blue's far more than apparent delight. Josh watched the two with a big grin on his muzzle. He had seen that done countless times. Blue would set Rob up, without him suspecting a thing, and Blue would always wallop him out of nowhere with something that would make Rob react in exactly that same way. Josh chuckled when he saw Rob still suffering the effects of the heebie-jeebies.
Josh grinned as Blue began to settle down. And people wonder why I’m so good at baby-sitting. Josh padded over to the still jittery Rob, knowing he had to set things right.
###
Susan murmured softly in her sleep as the sun’s rays poured in through her window. The light slowly crept over her calm slumbering form, finally reaching her closed eyes. Susan instinctively turned away, not wanting to awaken from the dream she was having, but as most of us sadly know, it's somewhat futile to try and hide from the morning. It wasn't long until the light once more came to her eyes, this time there being nowhere for Susan to escape it. Her eyelids rose slowly, her consciousness reluctantly being roused out of sleep and into the new day. Susan stayed motionless as she lay there, allowing her eyes to adjust to the light. She gave a soft yawn as her first thoughts crept into her, smiling softly at the image of Josh that immediately came to her.
I haven’t enjoyed talking to a guy that much in a very long time. Susan thought as she lie there, just enjoying going over last night's conversation in her head.
Susan’s eyes slowly moved out from space as they turned to the clock. It read about ten-fifteen, an hour and a half past her normal rise time. It didn’t matter, though. She didn’t have classes today and cheerleading practice wasn't until three. Susan lay there a few more moments, then reluctantly decided to get up.
Susan rolled over onto her side, stretching her body out in the way that only felines can. She purred as she felt her muscles slowly release and lengthen. Susan was more awake now, getting up to do some of the stretches designed to make her body more limber. After she had finished. she padded into her small kitchen area, turning on the coffee machine and setting herself down on a stool. Susan dreamily thought back to Josh. She loved the way his voice sounded, almost as though there was a melody to it. Last night it had lulled her to sleep like some lovely lullaby as she had repeated the phone call over in her head. Susan closed her eyes and purred softly, Josh’s words finding their way back to her.
###
Thomas dribbled his ball a few times on his way to the door, clad once more in the sweatsuit that had become a given for his attire these past ten weeks. Thomas tried spinning the ball on his finger, able to get it around a few times before wavering. Getting better. Thomas thought as he palmed the ball, freeing up his other paw to turn the knob.
"Thomas," Amy came out from the kitchen in her robe. "You going to the court?"
Thomas turned to her and nodded. "Yeah, figured since I don’t have anything to do today and I’ve… well, you know." He grinned sheepishly.
Amy smiled and sauntered over to her husband. "Well, it won’t be much longer. Sabrina’s due back in a couple of days, and when she arrives...," she didn’t need to finish, all she had to do was look into Thomas' eyes.
The couple's gaze locked for a moment, all other thoughts leaving them in that one brief instant. As they stared deeply into one another, their arms wrapped around one another in a loving embrace. A soft smile graced Thomas' muzzle, as the space between their lips grew increasingly smaller, until they were just barely apart.
"WAAAAAAAA!" The familiar cry pierced the air from Timothy’s room, causing the two lovers to be jolted back into reality. They both exchanged another warm smile before Amy padded off in the direction of the wailing. Thomas opened the door and paused breifly before he broke out laughing.
Amy turned around, somewhat surprised to see her husband in a fit of laughter. "What is it?"
Thomas stopped for a moment and looked over at his wife. "Because if I wasn’t laughing, I’d be crying," Thomas resumed his chuckling as he closed the door and started down the stairs.
Amy rolled her eyes and smiled before going to attend to Timothy.
###
"Rob, why in the world would I want my car to run out of gas on a date?"
Rob chuckled. "Sorry, I forgot who I was talking to. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you know when the second date rolls around."
Josh turned to the ferret, wearing a slightly more thoughtful expression than before. "You really think she might want to go out with me twice?"
"She will if you follow my tips," Rob assured him as they walked along.
Rob had been briefing Josh on dating ever since they came through the mall doors. Most of what Rob had told him earlier on was helpful, but these last few 'tips' confused him more than anything.
"Rob, I appreciate the tips but what I really need info on right now is procedure," Josh gave a small gesture as he spoke. "Can you help me with that?"
Rob shook his head slowly. "Fraid' I can't, man. The procedure all depends on the guy's style, and a style is as unique as a pawprint."
"C'mon, Rob. I told you I don't know anything about these things, and I need to know what to do," Josh couldn't really understand what Rob was talking about.
"I told you, I can't give you that. It's an unspoken rule among dating males. 'Do whatever you want but don't copy me.' It's been around ever since I first started dating. And furthermor-, hey," Rob stopped and turned around, suddenly noticing the absence of their wolf pal. "Where'd Blue go? He hasn't tried to embarrass me for the past ten minutes."
Josh turned and looked around, not having been aware until Rob took notice. "I don't know," Josh's keen eyes gave a quick sweep through the area, penetrating past the store windows and checking the inside. "There he is," Josh pointed to the window of the nearby book store. "He's talking to that leopard there."
Rob squinted and turned to where Josh was pointing. "Oh yeah. Geez, how in the heck is that eyesight of yours so good?"
Josh grinned as he turned back to him. "Carrots; I can't get enough of em'. Helps out the old peepers more than you might think," Josh stopped speaking abruptly, his mind suddenly making a connection. "Hey! That's the leopard!" Josh immediately turned back to the direction of the store and watched intently through the window.
"Huh? Whadaya mean?" Rob squinted again as his gaze returned to where Josh was looking, just barely able to see what Josh was referring to.
"That's the leopard from Callahan's! Blue wanted to get his number on Sunday but he left while we were talking to Kittiara," Josh grinned as he watched the scene unfold from afar, Blue obviously using his large arsenal of charms on the leopard. "Looks like it's going well. Wanna go in for a closer look?"
Rob took a look at the bookstore and immediately shook his head. "Can't. This is the one I'm barred from, remember?"
Josh nodded as he recalled. "Oh, yeah. Sorry about that. I'll go in and see," He padded over to the store's entrance, slipping behind a long row of bookshelves and going the long way around as to avoid detection. Josh looked around the corner very carefully, keeping his ears open. To his surprise, the leopard was nowhere to be found. Now all Josh saw was an obviously pleased Blue, grinning as he looked over a piece of paper he held in his paw.
"Well, seems like you got what you were after," Josh stated as he came out from behind the shelf, catching Blue somewhat off guard.
"How long have you been back there?" Blue looked slightly amused, seeing as he was usually the one to eavesdrop on others' conversations.
Josh grinned as he stepped forward. "Not long enough it seems. I missed the whole thing. Need I guess what you hold in that hot little paw of yours?"
Blue held the small slip of paper up proudly between thumb and forefinger. "But of course. I got his name and number, with minimum effort I might add."
Josh rolled his eyes at Blue's mock arrogance as he put his paws in his pockets. "Not surprised. When you gonna call him?"
"Hmmm, that's a toughie," Blue furrowed his brow, thinking. "The normal protocol is to wait three days, but he's REALLY cute, so I'll probably just wait two."
"So two days is the 'cute' clause so to speak, eh?" Josh kidded, trying somewhat to make up for Rob's current absence.
Blue only laughed. "You could say that, yes. Hey, that was a 'Rob' joke. Where is he?"
Josh tilted his head in the direction of the store's exit. "Don't ya remember? This store's off limits to him now."
"Oh, yeah. Well, let's catch him and get moving. We still need to find something for your big date!" Blue bounced with excitement at the very mention as he and Josh moved towards the exit. Before Josh left though, a display that was being set up in the store window caught his eye. It looked surprisingly elaborate for a shopping mall window display..
"Excuse me," Josh gave a small wave to the elderly rabbit putting the display together. "What're you setting this up for?"
The rabbit turned back to Josh, adjusting his glasses as he looked up at the tall fox. "Oh, this is for a new dating book we just got in. Supposed to be a good one, too."
Josh's eyebrows arched at the answer. "Really? How soon you think you're going to put them out?"
The rabbit looked around at his unfinished display. "Probably in about two hours or so. Come on back then and I'll save a copy for you."
"Thanks, I appreciate it. See ya' later," Josh gave another friendly wave as he exited the store, moving to catch up with Rob and Blue.
###
"Ooh, this looks nice," Blue sifted through the rack, trying to find something that might be suitable. "But it’s the wrong size. What a shame," Blue frowned and turned to Josh. "Wow, I didn’t realize clothes shopping for you was so hard. There’s almost nothing that fits you."
Josh nodded and got back to standing awkwardly next to Blue. Josh always felt out of place in a clothing store. He didn’t like shopping that much, and for clothing even less. Josh usually just walked in, found something, and if he liked the way it looked and it was his size, he bought it and left. Blue, Rob and he had gone from store to store, department to department and rack to rack. So far nothing that was Josh's size had met Blue’s standards.
"Well, XXXL isn’t exactly a size most people buy. That’s a big and tall size if I’ve ever heard one," Josh looked around. "Hey, where’d Rob go?"
Blue looked up from a nice pair of pants that he was holding. "Oh, he got bored. Said he was going to go check out the bookstore," Blue checked the tag on the garment he held, grumbling when he saw the size.
Josh raised an eyebrow. "The one you were in earlier? I thought he got banned from there because he kept opening the plastic wrap on the porn."
Blue shook his head. "Just from the one on that side of the mall. He’s going to the book store on this side," Blue explained, returning to his fashion search.
Josh nodded slowly and searched a few racks of his own, having about the same level of success as Blue. After a few minutes, Josh saw a very disgruntled Rob come back in through the department entrance..
"That was quick," Josh commented as Rob walked over to them, saying nothing.
Blue looked up. "What’s up, Rob? You look pissed."
Rob mumbled something under his breath and looked down at the floor.
"What?" Blue came a bit closer, Rob's words having escaped him.
Josh furrowed his eyebrows in thought for a moment, then grinned as he realized what had happened. "They heard about you, didn’t they?" Josh grinned more widely as Rob nodded.
Blue wouldn't have been able to keep the grin off his muzzle even if he had tried. "Bummer, but you shouldn’t be that upset about it."
Rob held his head in his paws. "They have a poster of me up behind the counter," he admitted, drawing them down over his face.
Josh and Blue both tried to keep from laughing. "Gee, Rob *snicker* that’s too bad," Blue almost snorted, but he caught himself just in time. "Why'd they put it up?"
Rob looked up for the first time since he had come in and looked Blue straight in the eyes. "To make sure the employees knew who I was and why I was to be watched out for."
Blue clamped both paws over his muzzle, using everything he had left not to laugh, but not having the self-control to keep it back any longer. Blue and Josh broke out laughing and hard. So hard in fact that Blue had to lean against Josh to avoid falling down. When they regained control of themselves (and it took a while) they apologized to the obviously annoyed ferret.
"Sorry about that, Rob," Josh stifled another chuckle. "But you gotta admit that's funny."
"The heck I do!" Rob gave Josh and Blue both a sharp look.
"Rob," Josh began. "Think as if it had happened to someone else. Is it funny now?"
Rob furrowed his eyebrows and thought for a moment. It wasn’t long before he was laughing himself.
"Hey, you’re right!" Rob’s renewed laughter had started another round between Josh and Blue, both needing to let it out before they exploded.
The three of them calmed down just as a salesman caught Blue’s eye. "Oh,that's it!" Blue quickly padded over to the lion and cut him off at the pass. Blue took what appeared to be a full outfit from his paw and looked it over. "This looks really nice," Blue continued, sliding his paw along the fabric. "Where was this?"
The lion was a bit startled at the enthusiastic wolf. "We had that over by clearance. It’s too big a size for most of the customers that walk in here and I was just about to put it in the back."
Blue examined it closely. There didn’t appear to be any damage and it actually looked a lot nicer than most of the things he had seen that day. Blue looked at the inside of the shirt and checked the size, followed immediately by the rest of it. "This just might fit you."
Blue walked over to Josh and gave him the outfit. "Go and try it on. If it fits I think we might have a keeper"
Josh looked it over and complied, padding over to the entrance to the dressing rooms. He looked around; trying to find one that he was sure wasn’t occupied. Josh turned, nearly running straight into Blue. "Hey! Don’t sneak up on me like that!"
Blue grinned widely. "Sorry, but you know I’ve got a bit of a talent for sneaking up from behind."
Josh rolled his eyes. "Can’t argue with you there," Josh searched down the row of dressing rooms, finally finding one that was unoccupied. "Uh, Blue? Would you mind waiting out there?"
Blue frowned. "No way, I want to see how it looks. I found it for you after all."
"Okay, okay," Josh conceded as he closed the door to the fitting room. "But NO PEEKING!" Josh turned and hung the outfit up on the wall, closing and locking the door behind him.
Blue grinned but did his best to sound innocent. "Why, whatever would make you think that I’d do that?"
Josh slipped off his shirt and undid his belt. "I think it might have something to do with the fact that every single time I've tried something on today you have done exactly that."
Blue tried not to peak, but his mischievous nature just wouldn't allow it. Standing on the tips of his toes, he was just able to get his head over the top, enabling him to see everything quite well. Blue grinned as Josh removed his pants and examined the clothes Blue had chosen. He appeared to be looking over them carefully, which was pretty standard behavior for him. Josh shrugged and slipped the pants on, zipping up the fly and taking a scrutinizing look in the mirror.
"Wow, those look great on you!" Blue blurted out before he caught himself, quickly ducking down.
Josh swung around. "Dang it, Blue! Stop that!"
Blue giggled at the way Josh’s voice sounded. "Okay, I won’t look at you anymore. I’ll wait until you get out."
###
Tara looked through the different racks, even though she wasn't exactly sure what she was searching for.
She turned to a young vixen that was standing beside her. "Jen, do you think Mike would like this for his birthday?"
Jen turned away from a shirt she was holding and gave the gift idea a strange look before breaking into a laugh. "A tie? Oh, c’mon,Tara. I know you have more sense than that!"
"Well, I don’t know. I never know what to get guys," Tara explained as she placed the tie back on the rack. "They’re so hard to shop for. Besides, I feel so out of place in the men’s department."
"Yeah, we gals are easy to shop for. Guys are just too hard to figure out." The vixen continued looking through the selection, seeing as she had to find a gift as well.
Tara looked up at the vixen. "I'm surprised it's this difficult, though. I just want to get him something that I know he’ll enjoy. Can you think of anything?"
Jen grinned at her evilly. "A nude photo of yourself. That will give him a whole lot of enjoyment."
Tara broke out giggling at that. "Jen, somehow I doubt I’ll be giving him that."
Jen just kept on grinning. "Why? You know he keeps mentally undressing you every time he sees you. He’s wanted to see what you got ever since you two met and you know it."
Tara giggled again. "I don’t think so. Besides, I thought you were the one that had a thing for him."
Jen rolled her eyes. "Please! He is so not my type!"
Tara shook her head slowly and smiled, returning to her search.
###
Josh stepped out of the dressing room in the full outfit, moving in front of the triple mirror and turned slightly, first to the left, and then to the right. They looked good on him, that much was apparent, but these weren’t what he was used to.
Blue, however, appeared to be very pleased at the way Josh looked. "You really look good! I knew I could find something for you!"
Josh gave himself another look-over. "I don’t know. I’m not really used to clothing this formal."
Blue chuckled. "Josh, that’s casual wear."
Josh gave a surprised look over to Blue. "Since when is a jacket casual?"
A high pitched giggle escaped Blue’s lips. "I honestly don’t know. But I do know that’s what we’ve been looking for."
Josh turned around and examined himself again. "You think so?"
Blue nodded with approval. "I do. Why don’t we get Rob’s opinion on this?" Blue walked over to the entrance to the fitting rooms and spotted him. "Hey, Robbie! We need your opinion here."
Rob looked up at Blue and stood where he was for a moment. "This isn’t one of your annoying attempts to make me see Josh in his underwear is it?"
Blue laughed and shook his head. "No, Rob, it isn’t. Just get back here."
Rob complied with Blue’s request and padded on over. He looked over Josh too, finally giving his approval. "Yep, I think we’ve found a winner here. Good job, Blue."
"Why thank you very much, kind sir," Blue curtsied. "I’m so delighted that my selection pleases you."
Rob stared at Blue for a moment before turning to Josh. "I’ll be waiting out there. I don’t know what he’s leading up to, but I’m sure I won’t like it."
Josh chuckled at Rob’s reasoning. "Okay, we’ll be out in a second," Josh told him as Rob left the fitting area. Josh gave another look in the mirror before turning to Blue. "What was that all about?"
Blue grinned, obviously pleased with himself. "Just wanted to see what his reaction would be," Blue explained as Josh went back into the fitting room.
Josh laughed as he closed the door behind him. "You’re a nut."
"Of course, that’s why we get along so well," Blue replied, getting ready to hoist himself above the door, but deciding against it at the last moment. I guess I've seen enough for today. Blue thought as he leaned against the wall.
###
Blue waited patiently until Josh paid for his purchase. Bag in paw, Josh joined up with Blue and began to walk over to where Rob was waiting for them.
Josh turned his head towards Blue. "Can I ask you a question?"
Blue nodded. "Sure."
"Why do you keep peaking at me?"
Blue grinned and looked down at Josh’s pants for a moment. "Well, besides the obvious reason," Blue paused to watch Josh roll his eyes. "You look so cute when you’re angry," Josh chuckled as they began to walk out into the store. As they did so, Blue's muzzle turned upwards drastically, an evil smile being formed as a thought took shape. "Course’ you look cute anyway, Joshy."
Josh stopped in his tracks and growled. "What did I say about calling me that?"
"Well, I don’t quite remember, Joshy! Why don’t you remind me?" Blue’s grin was getting ever larger as Josh’s expression grew angrier.
"Blue, you are asking for it! Don’t forget I know your weakness!" Josh warned, knowing full well that Blue was trying to make him angry.
"But you’ll have to catch me first, Joshy!" Blue broke out into a quick sprint, momentarily catching Josh by surprise.
Josh dropped his bag and took off after the wolf. He quickly overtook Blue, having the superior speed of a fox (despite his unusual size), and tackled him, pinning him to the floor.
"Remember, Blue, you asked for it!" Josh grinned as he furiously began to tickle Blue’s ribs.
In no time at all, Blue was rolling left and right in hysterical laughter and giggling, trying to get Josh off of him. Josh was stronger than Blue was, though, and he continued using Blue’s ticklish weak point against him.
###
As the rest of the store, customers and salesmen alike, looked with extreme curiosity and confusion at the big fox and the comparatively smaller wolf, Rob quickly turned to a rack behind him and pretended he didn’t notice them.
No one knows that you came in with them. Just pretend you don’t notice. You’re just an everyday customer. Rob kept repeating this to himself in his head as he sifted through the rack in a repetitive fashion, though his embarrassment was ultimately apparent. Luckily, though, he was not the big center of attention. That honor belonged to the wolf giggling like crazy and the large fox tickling him.
###
"C’mon, Blue! Say it! Say uncle!" Josh was determined to make Blue submit before relenting.
Blue was trying to hold under the pressure, but he just couldn’t handle it any more.
"Uncle! Uncle!" Blue finally gasped through his incredibly hard laughter.
Josh finally stopped and got up off of him. Blue still lay on the floor for a few moments, almost shivering as he tried to recover from the intense fit that he had just experienced. "You okay, Blue?"
Since Blue was still trying to catch his breath, he could only give Josh a quick nod.
Josh picked Blue up and brought him to his feet, making sure he could keep his balance. He then walked back over to where he had dropped his package, picking it back up and checking to make sure his things were still inside before returning to Blue, who now was grinning like there was no tomorrow.
Josh took one look at him and shook his head, giving off a grin of his own. "Blue, I’d swear you actually liked making me do that."
Blue's grin only widened. "What makes you think that?"
Josh smiled as the two of them walked on toward the exit to the department. "Call it a hunch," Josh turned his head from side to side, looking around. "Where’d Rob go?"
Blue sighed. "He’s over near the business suits, pretending not to know who we are. He’ll catch up after we leave the store."
Josh nodded as he and Blue walked abreast out of the department.
###
Tara and Jen’s eyes were glued to the two furs that had just caused the 'interesting' scene that had just transpired.
"What was that?" Jen asked, surprised, to say the least, at that display they had just witnessed.
Tara looked after them for a moment before she realized who they were. "Hey, I remember those two. They were at Furry’s Friday!"
Jen turned back to her. "Really? Were they acting like that?"
"Well, they were acting weird, but nothing close to that!" Tara gestured in the direction that the duo had gone.
Jen thought for a moment. "You think those two are… um… well you know, together?"
Tara shrugged. "I guess. I mean, that was pretty unusual."
Jen’s attention turned to a ferret that was edging towards the exit, looking as though he were embarrassed out of his mind. "What’s with that guy?"
Tara glanced over, another realization hitting her. "Oh, he was with them. I wonder why he’s acting so weird?"
Jen took in that little piece of information and grinned. "Isn’t it obvious? He’s embarrassed and he’s pretending that he doesn’t know them."
Tara nodded as the ferret finally edged his way out of the department all together. "Can’t say I really blame him. He is cute, though."
Jen gave her a strange look accompanied by a raised eyebrow. "That mangy little ferret?"
Tara cocked her head to one side. "Yeah, I don’t know why, but I think he looks cute."
Jen laughed. "And here I thought Mike had strange tastes."
###
Rob and Josh bantered back and forth now, Rob having caught up with him and Blue about eight minutes after they had left the store. Blue had bowed out of the conversation pretty early in, not wanting to interrupt them as they were chatting so seriously about the whole thing.
"Rob, I still don't see why you're not giving me any procedure here. All I want is to make sure I don't screw up," Josh was getting tired of asking, seeing as it seemed like such a simple question to him.
"I told you before. A guy's procedure defines his style, and a guy's style is his and his alone. I can't give you your style and I can't give you procedure," Rob stayed firm, knowing that his own procedures would not suit Josh by any means. Though just because they wouldn't didn't mean that he was going to tell Josh that.
Josh sighed. "Maybe I should just get one of those dating books then."
Rob nearly spat at the suggestion. "Heck no. Those things are garbage, plain and simple. A bunch of useless crud doing no more than telling furs what they want to hear. Furthermore, I-," Rob turned to look at Josh, now finding him gone. He turned from side to side, trying to see where the big fox had gone to. Finally catching sight of him standing outside the book store window, Rob padded on over and took a look at what had captured Josh's attention. Josh was watching the same elderly rabbit as before setting up the window display.
"I was talking to this guy earlier. He told me about a new dating book that had just come in," Josh explained, his eyes still on the display being constructed before him.
Rob only shook his head. "Why would you be interested in a waste of good paper like that?"
"Well, you don't seem to want to give me anything on procedure, so I'm hoping there might be something in there," Josh watched as the gray rabbit opened a large brown box. "Just to make things a bit more simple to understand."
Rob sighed and looked over to him. "That’s the way dating goes, it’s never easy. It’s not like you’re going to find a simple and neat little guide that has all the answers."
Josh’s attention turned to the gray rabbit once more as the books began to be unpacked from the box. The title, A Fox’s Simple and Neat Guide to Dating automatically intrigued him.
Rob took one look at the book and blew it off. "Don’t bother wasting your time with that. I’m sure no one’s even bought one."
Just after Rob spoke, the rabbit taped up a professionally made sign, reading 'Over two million sold!'
Rob gave a look of annoyance, but it went unnoticed by the gray rabbit. "Well, that doesn’t necessarily mean anything. I don’t see any big name celebrity backing it up."
Again, only mere moments after Rob said this, the rabbit put up a poster. This read, 'Officially endorsed by Professional Wrestling champion and celebrity, The Fox.'
Rob’s annoyance grew, once again going unnoticed by the employee. "That still doesn’t mean squat, I’m sure that it doesn’t even work. I don’t see a guarantee with it."
Even as Rob was finishing his sentence, the rabbit was hanging another sign that contained, in huge letters, 'Really Works! Money Back Guarantee!'
Now Rob was really annoyed. "Will you stop doing that?!?"
The rabbit turned away from what he was doing and looked at Rob, at first confused, but then grinned widely. Turning around, he yelled. "Hey, Benny! Porn-boy is back! He’s telling me that I should stop working! Is that okay?" The rabbit's voice projected right across the store, making sure that everyone, customer and employee alike, heard every word.
Rob blushed up, grumbling a few things under his breath that are WAY too foul to be mentioned here. "C’mon, Josh. You don’t need that."
Josh walked away with Rob, but he still wanted to take a look at that book. His vulpine mind raced furiously as they caught up with Blue and continued on. Josh’s mouth turned upward into a grin as he thought of a way to do it. He placed his paw on Blue’s shoulder and gave him a signal to slow down, allowing Rob to get a good seven feet in front of them. He leaned forward, whispering a few things into Blue’s ear.
Blue listened carefully, grinning evilly. Whatever Josh was saying apparently appealed to Blue quite nicely, as he sped back up to catch up with Rob. Josh stayed back, wanting to avoid the upcoming crossfire.
"Robbie! Hold up!" Blue padded quickly in front of the mobile ferret, holding up his paw. "I got something to tell you."
Rob looked quizzical. "Okay, what is it?"
Blue stood in front of him, making sure to hold his full attention. "You saw when I was talking to that leopard there before, right?"
"Oh, yeah. Got yourself a date, huh?" Rob wasn't exactly thrilled about this kind of subject matter, but Blue had been helpful enough that day to warrant a few small things.
Blue grinned and shook his head. "Turns out I wasn't what he was looking for," Blue placed a small slip of paper in Rob's paw.
Rob took a look at the slip he held in his paw. "What's this?"
Blue's tail instinctively began to twitch. "His phone number. He wants you to call him as soon as you can."
Rob's eyes went wide and he immediately tossed the slip to the ground, stepping back away from it afterwards.
Blue put on the most innocent expression he could muster and snatched the paper up, trying to give it back to Rob. "What's the matter, Robbie? If I didn't know any better I'd say you were afraid of this."
Rob backed off a step for every one Blue took forward. "Keep that the heck away from me! I don't want anything to do with all that!" Rob kept backing off until he finally broke off and ran, Blue behind him in hot pursuit.
"Robbie! Come back! This way I can go out with both of you! I'll even let you have the good night kiss! Robbie!" Blue did his best to sound serious as he quickly took off after the frightened ferret.
Josh, who had been looking on the whole time from his safe distance, was cracking up with laughter. It was a bit of a mean trick, he admitted, but it was the first way of temporarily getting rid of Rob that had come to mind.
Josh settled down, chuckling as he walked back over to the bookstore. The display looked about completed now, and did seem to look more professional than most setups he had seen. Josh went in and, after picking up a copy, thumbed through it. After a few moments of looking through it, he nodded slowly, apparently liking what he saw. He closed the book, bringing it up to the counter for the transaction and every now and then looking out the store window to check for Blue and Rob. After he had paid for the book, he stuck it in with his other packages to make sure Rob wouldn't be able to tell he had bought it. Josh really didn't care if Rob objected to these types of things, but he wasn't really in the mood for another lecture on style. After Josh left the store, he padded off in the direction that Blue and Rob had gone, knowing he would have to restore order between the two as always.