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Sometimes the best thing one can ever want is silence. No words to be said, no comments to be made, no statements to prove, no arguments to be won. Just the feeling of one body against another in total rest. Some may consider me lucky, others- a dog. Perhaps in not caring in what others think, I can say that I'm the luckiest man in the world to have friends like Cathy and Jaunita(Gloria) care about me as much as they do. Not that I am talking about any of the sexual components of the relationship, but the other pieces that forms a friend. Unfortunately, somebody had to break the silence, as I laid back and closed my eyes. "I'm not horny and confused...", Jaunita(Gloria) said queitly after a couple of minutes of peace and quiet had passed. "Yes you are...", Cathy stated back to her. "No, I'm not.... I just... if there were a way... no... that's not it either.", Jaunita(Gloria) started to say, unsure as to what to say. "Look, you're in the mood, or was in the mood, you want him, you need him... so in adding all that up, whatever emotional ties that they are connected too, you have a physical desire- which makes you horny. Nothing wrong with it, its just the way it is.", Cathy tries to explain. "Then explain how he can have an erection right now, and yet not want sex? Isn't that a physical desire, therefore making him horny.", Jaunita(Gloria) asks. "Its called emotional control, something that men exercise a lot more than we women do.", Cathy stated, adding, "Wait a minute... what do you mean 'right now'?" "What do you think I have been resting on all this time?", Jaunita(Gloria) asks in answer. "Fernando...", Cathy says to me. "What?", I answered. "You being horny is not helping with Jaunita(Gloria), you know...", Cathy says. "I'm not horny, Cathy...", I tell her. "Then explain why you got a hard-on...", Cathy almost demands. "You know, it happens...", I answer her. "And you have no desire to lay her down and do her?", Cathy demands in asking. "Of course I always have a desire to have sex with her, or you or any other female that would dare lay down for me... well almost any female- Not Denise, or several others on that list.", I explain to her. Cathy lays there staring at me, waiting for me to finish my statement, or at least try to fix it up. After a moment, I add, "Maybe right now more than usual, but right now is not the time or place for us to be having sex on the beach. I swear Cathy, what is it that you want from me?" "Well... at least you're honest... So why not have sex on the beach?", Cathy started saying, "You got here a horny little virgin, so why not? Want me to join in or something?" "Cathy...", I tell her. "Are the both of you's argueing through that connection you too share?", Cathy asks. "No...", I tell her. "He's disconnected from us.", Jaunita(Gloria) says. "Then, why not connect and go for it...", Cathy says. "Cathy... I got a headache, and if I were to allow her to connect to me, she would get it too. And sharing headaches is something I do not want her to experience.", I explain. "Then why don't you filter out the pain and share those other things...", Cathy says. "Not possible, Cathy.", I tell her. "Why not?", Cathy asks. "Its like sex- you are either doing it or not...", I tell her outright. "But there is a lot before sex...", Cathy tries to reiterate. "OK... I see where is this going...", I say to myself. "Look, the brain can do a lot of things- including those things you two do...", Cathy stated. "Jaunita(Gloria), you share a connection with Cathy... Demonstrate to her how it is.", I asked. "Its only one way...", Jaunita(Gloria) answers. "Why is it one way?", I ask. "Because we never got to finish it... it was that day when she got gang raped...", Jaunita(Gloria) stated, adding, "My god, Cathy... today was that day..." "I know. I try not to think about it...", Cathy says. Jaunita(Gloria) leans over to Cathy and holds her even tighter. "Look... you two need to finish what was started on that day.", I tell them. "I'll be here to make sure that nothing interupts us." "Would you want to?", Jaunita(Gloria) asks Cathy. "No... Look, Jaunita(Gloria). Don't take this the wrong way- but sometimes I wish it was you who was raped instead of me, or at least raped with me...", Cathy stated. "Its just, the anger I have to hold back because of that day..." "I understand what you went through...", Jaunita(Gloria) tries to explain. "Cathy, I'm sorry for what happened on that day, and if I was there when it happened, I would have done something about it...", I tell her. "I know you would. Its that Randal did not, instead he went out with his brothers to do the samething... just about.", Cathy replies. "...To do the same thing?", I ask. "Go find girls and have their way with them...", Cathy says. "Why that...", I say to myself. "Then at the hospital, he say to me that I deserved what happened...", Cathy stated, as a tear started to roll down her cheek. "He told me why wasn't I fucking along side with her...", Jaunita(Gloria) said. "You two are making me feel like going to the hosptial and finish him off for good.", I try to say to myself, but saying it louder than needed. "That's not necessary.", Cathy tells him, "I will be divorsing him outright... I just need the time and reason to do it." I hold back the question I want to ask her of marrying me at that point. Instead, Jaunita(Gloria) asks it, "Would you consider marrying Fernando when you do?" Cathy looks sad but startled at the question she asks. Then Cathy turns her attention to me. "She said it, not me...", I tell her. "Why would you marry me, after all this hell we been through?", Cathy asks. "Because I would still be in love with you if I ever found you again.", I tell her. "You would not marry Jaunita(Gloria)?", Cathy asks. "I might, but not here and not now.", I said. "Why not?", they both said at the same time. "I am not ready to get married, as much as I would want too.", I tell them. "I was not ready, but I did...", Cathy says. "You had no choice...", I said. "I know.", Cathy added. "Why wont you marry me?", Jaunita(Gloria) asks. "For the same reason, you wont have sex with me right now- we are not ready...", I tell her. "What if I did just fucked your brains out... then you would have to marry me...", Jaunita(Gloria) stated, though in there lies a bit of humor and sarcasm. "Having sex with me would not guarentee marriage, Jaunita(Gloria).", I began to tell her. "And why not?", Jaunita(Gloria) asks. "Because it wouldn't. At worse, it would drive us farther apart, and the only times we would want each other is to screw around.", I tell her, "...and with you, and Cathy, that is something I do not want." "Its never been that way with us, Fernando. I know that having been there with you.", Cathy stated, wiping away a tear that fell some time ago. "And what- all those times we slept together does not count?", Jaunita(Gloria) asks. "What? You want to get a hotel room for the night?", I ask. "For what, to prove a point?", Jaunita(Gloria) asks. "If it to show you whether or not sleeping with you means something- then yes.", I tell her. "Then which one is it?", Jaunita(Gloria) asks. "Which one, what?", I ask. "Fernando... does sleeping with me means something to you or not?", Jaunita(Gloria) asks, a bit sternly. "It does.", I answer her. "Then what does it mean...?", Jaunita(Gloria) asks. "You don't have to take it there.", Cathy stated. "No... I know what sleeping with him means to me, as does all those kisses and make out sessions we had together- I want to know his side, to know what it means to him.", Jaunita(Gloria) stated in return. "Jaunita(Gloria), no matter what I would say would never satisfy your answer. But suffice to what I can say is that I love her as much as I love you, and to have that returned to me in full is something I could not ask for, yet the both of you give it without asking. If that meant nothing to me, then, you know... fuck it... you know how I feel... you been in my head enough times to know what it is how I feel about you and her and how much it values to me... you know what- fuck it, I'm staying quiet about it.", I tried to explain, then deciding to shut up. Jaunita(Gloria) looked at me with concern. "Now you did it.", Cathy says. "What did I do?", Jaunita(Gloria) asks. "You just questioned his manhood, how he feels about you, and made him think that its not enough... and that leads to anger and doubt... and you now have to deal with it.", Cathy explains. "I have to deal with it? What about you?", Jaunita(Gloria) asks. "I did not question it... you did.", Cathy stated. "I always known not to question him about his love for me, just tried to reciprocate it as best as I know how." "I've heard you question it many times...", Jaunita(Gloria) was about to finish it. "No- I question as to why he does and the things he does for it, not that he does or even doubt it against some other ulterior motive like trying to get into your panties. You just did that.", Cathy stated. "For me, I know that he loves me uncondictionally, as I do him as best as I can. I'm just sorry that it has to hurt sometimes." "Fernando...?", Jaunita(Gloria) turns to me. I refuse to answer her, at least for the moment. Jaunita(Gloria) stares into my eyes, unsure what to say in fear of making it worse. "If you have to question how he feels for you, he would have had sex with you a long time ago in taking advantage of you. But unlike most guys, and you should know this a long time ago, Fernando is not like that.", Cathy stated. "Don't you think I know that?", Jaunita(Gloria) says as she turns to her friend. "Then... why did you questioned it?", Cathy asks. "Why not? Maybe I don't want to share a boyfriend with anyone, or even have him as one. Maybe I don't reciprocate what he gives because it means giving up so much of myself that I do not want to give. Maybe...", Jaunita(Gloria) started to say. "Hold It Right There, Girl... I know how you feel towards him, and what you to have done with hiim, even in those times alone in a bed that you two shared. I know that the both of you have had some heavy make out seasons and a couple of close calls, but you two never had ever made love for your sake of your dream of being a virgin on your wedding day. And if it were me, if I would be in the same situation as you are if I were a virgin, and I know that he would respect me and my wishes to remain so. But to make out or make love to him, with him, is not giving yourself to him, but sharing what you have to offer as he shares with you the same thing. No doubt, Jaunita(Gloria), you love him and he loves you back. Where you take it from there is on you. I know that he would not fail you.", Cathy lets out a rant of an explaination. "Well, what if I do not want to continue anymore? What if I cant not have it all, then I dont want it at all? What if I do not want to be second fiddle to you or anyone else?", Jaunita(Gloria) asks. "You were never second fiddle to me in this little love triangle we are in. If anything, he has treated and loved us both equally, and fairly. That is a lot more than what I can say for my husband, or most other guys.", Cathy answers. "You had sex with him. He expects it from me, but knows that he cant get it...", Jaunita(Gloria) started to say. "Hold it right there...", Cathy interupts Jaunita(Gloria), "I know that he would not force you into something that would hurt you, that he would not take advantage of you to get what he wants. If he expects sex, its normal for him to do so, for he is a man, and just like any other men, has wants and needs- and sex being the number one thing of those wants and needs. And I know that he never forced that issue with you- you even told me that yourself." Jaunita(Gloria) remains quiet, unsure as to what to say and not wanting to make things worse with what she says. "Look girl, I do not know what just gotten into you, but I know that you know that Fernando is not like that. He never was and never will be, at least with us. Now, like he said, if you think that sex is the next plateu in the relationship you to have, then go for it. But if its to satisfy some hunger or lust, then don't. In the very least, if you are unsure or scared, then don't. Because he would not want you to be scared or unsure, and that places him in a very bad position where the relationship you share with him is in jepoardy of being destroyed or worse.", Cathy continues. "What do you mean- destroyed or worse?", Jaunita(Gloria) asks. "You could cry rape, and have him arrested for it.", Cathy started to say, "Or you can end up in my situation, being a sex slave- but to him and queitly suffer as you fulfill his every demands of want and need and beckoning calls. I can tell you that is worse than being raped, because it is rape with you being a willing participant..." Jaunita(Gloria) remained silent for a moment. "But Jaunita(Gloria), You know that Fernando is not like that... so with has gotten into you, girl?", Cathy asks. "I don't know...", Jaunita(Gloria) says silently. "I think at least you should take up that hotel room offer...", Cathy started to say. "What for?", Jaunita(Gloria) interupts her. "Let me finish... I say you should because you two need some time alone, and go have a make-out session the likes you two never had. At least the both of you can have some uninterupted peace and quiet to talk things out . Where it goes- depends on you two.", Cathy explains herself. "What if...", Jaunita(Gloria) started to say, "He demands something I can not give..." "Jaunita(Gloria)...", Cathy started to say again, "If he does, then get out of the room, or lock yourself in the bathroom. But do something to get yourself out of that situation. But again, why are you thinking like that?" "I don't know...", Jaunita(Gloria) answers. "Look, you're the one on top of him right now. You were the one who was excited a few minutes ago, and so willing to have a make-out session. In response, I can guess that he has a hard erection, which you gave him, and for a lack of a better word- from you sexually teased him into an excited state by humping your crotch against his. All that was going fine until you kissed him... What happened? It felt like you kissed your brother or something?", Cathy went on with her slew of statements and questions. They both remained quiet as Cathy waited for an answer from Jaunita(Gloria) that she never got. "Things went worse when you questioned his love for you... I can understand if he were going through it, but it is you and not him.", Cathy stated. "Jaunita(Gloria)...", I call to her quietly. She just turns to me, surprized of me saying anything. "You willing to take chance with me or you want to end it?", I ask. "I don't know.", Jaunita(Gloria) answers. "OK...", I said to myself, "Look, what ever you decide, is on you. But I want you to know that somebody out there loves you, whether you love him or not. I'm not here to force you into anything you would not like to be in. But I wold ask you to do me 1 very important favor though..." "What is it?", Jaunita(Gloria) asks. "Look, I don't you you to get this wrong... OK?", I started to say, "Either lets continue where we left off in that kiss, or- GET OFF ME!, MY LEGS ARE FALLING ASLEEP!" Jaunita(Gloria) looks into my eyes for a second, and trace down my body to where we met at the hips, though her skirt covered much of the view. While looking down there, she puts her hands on my shoulders and lift herself slightly off me. Cathy could not help but laugh quietly. Jaunita(Gloria) then retraced her eyes back to mine and then turn to Cathy. "What's so funny?", Jaunita(Gloria) asks. "Everything...", Cathy said, "Here you are, scared of nothing, and Fernando's the one asking you to get off him... That's funny..." "I don't see how...", Jaunita(Gloria) stated. "From my point of view it is...", Cathy stated. "Look... why don't you two show each other much you love the other.", she then said, slowly getting up and standing on her knees besides us. "I'll be on the other side unless you want me to be involved in a threesome...", she finally adds, before getting up and walking to the other side of the lifeguard chair. "Cathy... wait...", Jaunita(Gloria) stated as Cathy walked to the other side and sat down against the structure. "Jaunita(Gloria)...", I called to her to get her attention while gently putting my hand to her face to turn her head to my direction. She complies at least with the physical gesture, but not the verbal one. "Jaunita(Gloria), look... I don't know that I can say to make you feel better, but you know what promises I have to hold to you, and I will keep those promises to the end of time.", I began to tell her. "But as for you to question what we have, and whether I treat it seriously or as a game, you know that answer. Look- you know the answers. You been in my head enough times to know the answer. But for now, so you wont get the headache I'm having, I have to shut you out. I know that you not being able to see what's in my mind or in any guy's mind while embracing, must be scarey to you. You can hold me to any test you want, but you are going to have to trust me, that if we are going to take it to the next level or not- depends on you. I can only take it as far as you want, and yes, this is how Cathy and I do it- without any psychic connection to enhance it, but there is communication going on between us. You should not rely on our psychic bond if and when we ever get too carried away, but have to tell me whether you want to or not like everyone else... through that language of physical love.", as I put my hands onto her waist and slowly pull her close to me again, as we were, groin to groin. Jaunita(Gloria) nods her headly slightly and slowly. "How far you want to take it, is on you...", I tell her softly, putting one of my hands behind her head and gently draw her closer to me. She does not resist, and I take my other hand to her lower back, just above her rear end, holding her a bit tighter. She gets into a more comfortable position against me, though that having meant grinding her self against me, at least she takes down one of her arms off my shoulder and behind my neck and the other to temporairly support herself above me. She initicates our kiss again, but stops, hovering just a couple inches away from my face. "Fernando....", she started to say. "What?", I ask. "You...'re... bleeding...", Jaunita(Gloria) stated. "What? Where?", I ask. She takes the arm from around my neck and lightly strokes her finger just under my nostril and shows me the blood that had trickled there. "Are you OK?", she asks. "No, I'm not...", I tell her. "Then what going on with you?", she aks. "Its that headache... its getting worse...", I tell her. "You're beginning to hemorage, Fernando...", she replies. "Its only a headache...", I tell her, "...that is why I'm blocking you from receiving me... The Pain is just unbearable." "But yet, you would lay there for me and have us make love to each other...?", Jaunita(Gloria) asks. "If it's the last thing that I do... yeah...", I answer her. "Fernando- tell me, truthfully, how bad is it?", Jaunita(Gloria) asks. "Look, if I tell you, I want you to understand, need you not to be scared about this, because it happens to me every once in a while.", I tried to explain to her. "Just tell me, please. You're worrying me...", she says. "Look- it feels like I'm dying. I have to concentrate for every breathe, to be aware, more so to pay attention to you... But Jaunita(Gloria), don't be scared, because I'll be fine in a couple of days... because it has happened before...", I tried to explain. "FERNANDO! We Got To Get Yo To A Hospital!", Jaunita(Gloria) yelled. "No...!", as I try to push her away from me. "Why Not?!!" Jaunita(Gloria) asks loudly. "What's going on? I leave you two alone and you two are fighting?!!", Cathy comes over from behind the Lifeguard chair frame. "He needs to see a doctor...", Jaunita(Gloria) stated as she stepped away and sat next to me. Cathy crawled up next to me, examining me as I laid there. "Another headache?", Cathy asks. "Same one from before...", I tell her. "You know your nose is bleeding.", Cathy tells me. "I figured as much...", I replied. "So, you don't want to see a doctor?", Cathy asks. "No Doctors... I just need to relax...", I explained. "OK, I'll be here with you then...", Cathy saids as she took my hand. "Cathy?", I ask for her. "Yes dear?", she replies. "I love you...", I tell her, spending more time on thinking about breathing. "I know... I love you too.", Cathy replies. "That's all I need to know...", I replied back. "Fernando...", Cathy called to me. "What dear?...", I said while panting for air. "Somebody here also loves you too...", Cathy tells me. "Tell her I love her too...", I said breathing heavy. "I think she heard you...", Cathy tells me. "OK... Cathy... just one more thing...", I tell her between breathes. "What dear, anything...", Cathy answers. "Lights out...", I tell her. "Lights out, my love...", Cathy says, and then kisses me at on my forehead. I close my eyes and pass out. Cathy looks around and into my bag, pulling out the smaller wash towel I keep in ther and cover my eyes with it, then continues to look in the bag again. "You're just going to let him lay there?", Jaunita(Gloria) complains, trying to hold back the hysterics. "One thing you got to understand, Jaunita(Gloria), we have been through this many times, and there is nothing a doctor can do to stop this but perhaps drill holes into his head and make him into a babbling retard. But let him relax and his healing abilities will do its work... It not like he's having an aneurysm or stroke, though it looks like he is. Its just a very bad headache for him.", Cathy explains. "A very bad headache is a sign of an aneurysm or a stroke...", Jaunita(Gloria) stated to prove a point. "Look, I had the same argument with him the first couple of times he went through this, and I had to learn how to really trust him, especially on things about him his body and personal life.", Cathy explains, "You just be glad that he locks you out and not share this pain with you... it is not a pleasant experience." "But.. Cathy...", Jaunita(Gloria) started to say. "Don't but Cathy me... let him rest. He should be getting up in about an hour. Until then... hmmmm... what to do?", Cathy stated and then asks. "He should be seeing a doctor.", Jaunita(Gloria) stated to herself. "You don't get it, do you?", Cathy turns to her. "What?...", Jaunita(Gloria) replied. "You cant force him to go see a doctor, and what if he wakes up in a hospital bed, against his wishes? Now you got to deal with him being pissed off at you. You want that?", Cathy tells her. "But...", Jaunita(Gloria) started to say. "No buts... Damn it... you want to pay $400 for an emergency room visit for a stupid headache? I swear... even if its bad like this- he will be fine. OK? I've seen him go through this many times before- so he'll be fine after a while. Just understand that!", Cathy let Jaunita(Gloria) know of her feelings. Jaunita(Gloria) sits there silently, not wanting to absorb what Cathy almost yelled at her. Cathy in turn goes back into searching my bag, openning up the first aid kit inside and pulls out several packettes of gauze. Once she places the bag down, she starts to swab the inside of my nose and ears to clean them out before the blood found there turns into rock hard scabs. Taking one of the bags set aside for garbage, she dumps the dirty gauze there. Jaunita(Gloria) can only watch as Cathy busies herself in tending to my needs. "You got a lot to learn, girl...", Cathy says to herself. "What are you talking about now?", Jaunita(Gloria) asks. "You still think that in giving up part of yourself means to give up everything you believe in? That to love him means to give away what you worked so hard to be?...", Cathy verbally threw at her. "No, I did not say that...", Jaunita(Gloria) stated in her defense. "No- this is what love is. This is what living and expressing that love to another is all about. Its not sex, and screwing around all the time... Seriously, Jaunita(Gloria), I think you read too much into those porn magazines you have stashed away... grow up already.", Cathy stated, adding, "I don't believe that you spent a year in Lehman college taking advanced classes in nursing..." "I just do not want to prove a point to anyone, especially not to you and not to him...", Jaunita(Gloria) stated. "You don't need to prove a point to me or to him...", Cathy reiterated as she interupted her, "Love is not proving a point. Millions of girls out there get hurt because of that... you want to be part of that list?" Jaunita(Gloria) wants to answer but Cathy lets out another round of words before she can start, "I know you love Fernando, as do I. But this is not a competition as to who love him more- you or I. You would have lost that a long time ago to ne if it did..." "I got him in bed with me first...", Jaunita(Gloria) stated. "But nothing happened.", Cathy stated, "And that what I mean... He loves us equally, without wanting proof or sex for it. He has never demanded it from me, for those times we did, I gave myself to him willingly, because I wanted to experience that with him..." "We've gotten close to doing it...", Jaunita(Gloria) stated. "The question is why? Because of competition with me, or because you two got carried away too far? Can you say that you wanted it and were willing to give it to him willingly?", Cathy asked. "No... I got scared at that point.", Jaunita(Gloria) says to herself. "And did he try to force you into going further?", Cathy asks. "No... but...", Jaunita(Gloria) started to say. "But what?", Cathy asks. "There was frustration in his voice.", Jaunita(Gloria) stated. "That's normal! I would be frustrated too if I was sexually excited to a hieghten point and was forced to drop like that... Look Jaunita(Gloria), you have to know when to and how to slowly back down. Just stopping it just like that can cause a lot of damage... For one- if it were another guy and not Fernando- you would have been raped by now and been called a dick teaser...", Cathy explains. Jaunita(Gloria) looks at Cathy for more answers, "It also forces a guy to think that 'well, we gone this far- lets see how much further can we go the next time?'... I know he does not think like that, but most guys do." Silence stands in between the two of them for over a minute. "Look Jaunita(Gloria), I know you love him, but I cant tell you what to do. You can only do right for yourself. But I can tell you that he wont force you or take advantage of you. But to love him means to do those things that you can only do with him. Help him up when he's down. Spend long quiet moments together while thinking of nothing but one another. Cook and serve him dinner. Things like that, that will make life worth living. You want to be happily ever after with him, you got to work hard for it. Giving him sex because you have to prove a point with him it not the point. You might as well be his 'hump-me-doll' in real life and be his sex slave for eternity. Don't equiate sex with love, for neither is the same alone. But together, it is the most two people can do to show how they care about each other. You understand me, girl?", Cathy finally says. "Yeah, I think I do.", Jaunita(Gloria) says. Then she saids to herself, "I wish I had a second chance..." "You have all the chances in the world with him, Jaunita(Gloria)...", Cathy tells her. "You think so?", Jaunita(Gloria) asks. "I know so...", Cathy answers. "When he wakes up, can have some time with him alone?", Jaunita(Gloria) asks. "You don't have to ask, and you don't have to wait either...", Cathy says. "How so?", Jaunita(Gloria) asks. "He maybe out but he is aware as to what's happening... I don't know how he does it though... but if you want to talk to him... I'll walk to the waves for 5 minutes...", Cathy tells her. Then she slowly gets up and starts heading down the shore at a slow pace. Jaunita(Gloria) gets closer to me, kneeling beside me and bends down to get closer. Reaching with her hand, she brushes my hair to the side, away from my forehead and bends down, kissing me there. She slowly gets up, eyeing me from head to toe, taking my hand into hers for a moment. For a moment, she stares at my bathing suit, tracing my semi erect penis within on the outside lines. For a second, she laugh quietly to herself, but stops from going on furhter. Then she starts to trace it with the fingers of her other hand. "You don't know how many girls you can get in trouble with this thing...", Jaunita(Gloria) started to say as she gives it a gentle squeeze, "...even me..." Then she stops, taking her hand away but giving it a gentle pat to it before she does. "But Cathy is right, and I get too scared when we are not psychically connected. Unfortunately, for us- we disconnect when we start to get heavy with each other, because of what almost happened that night between you and I... we got too carried within ourselves and too overwhelming, too much on the psychic level to realized where we had gone physically. But yet, you did not get angry with me when I broke it off. In fact you were as scared as I was... That says more than all of the appologizing you gave that night. But if it were to have happened then or any other time, I want you to know that I wanted it as much as you did if not more. You and I can deal with the aftermath later. But it's the Then and Now that I worry about. But I also know that you will do right by me and that I should not be worrying about it as much as I do...", she tells me in her quiet little way. She starts to give me a series of kisses from my forehead down to my lips, though in my condiction I can hardly respond back. She holds her lips to my mine, wanting it to go further but it does not go to where she would like it to go. Then she sits up on her knees, sliding her hand without looking where it is going, back and forth on my chest and stomache, working her way lower to the waist band of my bathing suit. "What is it about you that made me fall in love with you? You're crass, you're obstinate, you're stubborn, manipulative... I'd swear- if I did not know better, I'd say that you twisted my emotions to suit your needs. But I know otherwise- you're a caring and giving person, Fernando, and no matter what happens, I don't want that to change... But don't give up too much, I want something for me as well...", she started to say, absentmindedly sliding her hand past the waist band and on top of my penis again, outside of the bathingsuit. Without thinking, she grasps at it lightly, then suddenly withdraws her hand away off me very quickly, almost needing to catch it with her other hand before she would hit herself with it at her chest. "Why are you so skittish, girl?...", Jaunita(Gloria) then saids to herself, "Its not like you have seen or touched him there for the first time. Yeah, its not. What a strange relationship you share with him... friends who sometimes share bodies with each other, lovers without having made love, and that whole shared mind scape thing. It's a wonder that we had not has sex at freshman year and gotten married by then." She then goes back to looking at my face again, once more brushing the hair off my forehead before taking my hand with hers and leans close to me. "Are you worth it? Are you worth all the trouble and pain and fighting that some of us had to go through for you? I bet you have asked yourself the same thing of us, and yet you continue to fight for us. And as many times you have gotten hurt for us, you have not asked for thanks, reward or compensation- like some of the others had. Do you have some ulterior motive or hidden adgenda? I can hear you ask the same thing of me and the others... though I do not know or care for the others, what I want for me is simple- a home, a caring and providing husband and a loving family. You maybe caring and loving, but can you provide? Perhaps to my physical and emotional needs, but what about supporting the house? Paying the bills? Bringing home the bread? Your life is far too complicated for you to do a fare job in that... call me selfish, but I want things to be simple..." "So you want things simple?", Cathy asks as she steps around the frame of the lifeguard chair. "CATHY", Jaunita(Gloria)s says out loud. "Yes, its me... no need to shout out to the world that I'm here...", Cathy replies as she walked up to us and knelt by my side. "You were listening to everything I've said?!!", Jaunita(Gloria) asks hysterically. "I only caught your last sentence as I came back. Besides Its not like you fucked him...", Cathy joked. "That's not fair, I needed more time!", Jaunita(Gloria) almost yells. "Life is not fair, so deal with it.", Cathy stated. "But...", Jaunita(Gloria) started to say. "Look, All I said that I was going to give you 5 minutes to make your peace with him. Whatever second chances there are to give is on him. Now, out my way. I got things to do.", Cathy say as she reaches into my bag, pulling out more guaze strips. She then starts to swab my nose, ears and mouth to check for blood. She finds very little in terms of wet, but a lot in dry. "Now, Jaunita(Gloria), what ever you see here, you did not see it.", Cathy tells her. "What do you mean by that?", Jaunita(Gloria) asks her. Cathy leans over to me, shifting herself until my head on her lap and my closest arm placed behind her. "Its exactly what I said. You did not see a thing happen here and now." "But...", Jaunita(Gloria) started to say. "You know- you're as bad as he is in stating the obvious... Now- Turn around and count to 50!", Cathy tells her in a scolding tone. "Why?", Jaunita(Gloria) asks in a challenging tone. Cathy gently lifts my head and neck up, supporting me in mid air, "Have it your way then... but if anyone else finds out about this- you're dead! So take this secret to the grave with you..." "What are you talking about?!!", Jaunita(Gloria) asks. Cathy leans over to my ear and whispers, "Lights on, my dear...", before giving me a hard slap to the base of my skull, where a set nerves create a juncture below the Opicipital Lobe. I wake up with a hard pounding of me arms against the sandy floor. Jaunita(Gloria) gives a yelp, jumping back on her ass, and bend forward, rubbing her temples. "Shh...Shhhhhh.... Relax... relax, everything is alright, Fernando.", Cathy tells me softly though she tries to hold me back from killing the first thing that moved. "OW!!!... Damn it, what in hell did you do?!!", Jaunita(Gloria) yells from her bent over position. "Fernando... you're projecting... and kinda hard too. I can feel it too...", Cathy says to me. For a moment I close my eyes and concentrate on closing all the barriers that surrounds my mind. Jaunita(Gloria) sits up, looking at Cathy confused, wondering there the pain went. "What just now happened?", Jaunita(Gloria) asks. "Don't tell me that she saw it?", I ask Cathy. "I'm afraid so.", Cathy answers. "You two mind explaining what just happened?", Jaunita(Gloria) asks more loudly. "I plead the fifth...", I say out loud. "Alright... since our boy here wont talk- it's a rather long explaination.", Cathy started to say. "Cathy, don't.", I tell her. "Like you said, Fernando, 'I cant lie to one and be truthful to the other.'...", Cathy replies. "Look... Jaunita(Gloria)... somethings are beter left unsaid.", I tell her. "You're not getting off that easily...", Jaunita(Gloria) stated. "Its something he taught me.", Cathy started to explain, "All around the body there are certain nerve junctures, and each one does a specific thing when you apply pressure to it. In this case... I restarted his brain." "How? That's impossible...", Jaunita(Gloria) stated. "There's one to stop the heart, want me to demonstrate?", Cathy reached out to her chest. "No! Get away from me!", Jaunita(Gloria) squealled. "Well, then. Just believe that I restarted his brain.", Cathy stated. "I wont believe it...", Jaunita(Gloria) "Jaunita(Gloria)...", I called to her, "Look, there are two ways to restart a brain- the way we know, psychically, and this other way. But understand, this goes back a long way to ancient Chinese medicine... it is a harder way of doing it, and once everything is started- its like being turned on for the first time; everything is open and in our case- projecting on all levels." "Then what was that pain I was experiencing?", Jaunita(Gloria) asked. "You were projecting kinda hard, even I felt some of it.", Cathy tells me. "That....", I hesitated to explain, "...was my headache... as how I feel it." "How can you deal with all that pain? You need to see a doctor if you're in that much pain, its not good for you to be like that...", Jaunita(Gloria) asks. "First, Jaunita(Gloria), I'm used to the pain- after so many years of dealing that drugs that can not provide any cure. Secondly, My nervous system is enhanced with microscopic wiring in each nerve...", I started to explain. "I know about the silver in the nerves part...", Jaunita(Gloria) interupted me. "Let me finish...", I tell her, "Besides enhancing each nerves abilities, this wiring also amplifies the signals in my brain..." "God... I'd go insane if I were in that much pain...", Jaunita(Gloria) says to herself. "Who says he was?", Cathy stated. "Cathy...", I call for her attention. "You know I'm just playing...", Cathy returns. "You should really see a doctor about that...", Jaunita(Gloria) stated. "For what? They cant do nothing about it, Jaunita(Gloria). And the last 3 EKG scans, I broke the machines, with off the scale readings... At best they can increase the Thorazine, and that I swore off.", I tell her. "Its better than going through the pain...", Jaunita(Gloria) stated. "Is it? You want to be doped up to the point where you're just a babbling fool? Where you need help to do everything- including going to the bathroom?", I ask her. "Look- I know what I'm doing, so lets leave this alone..." "But you really should...", Jaunita(Gloria) started to say. "Jaunita(Gloria)...", Cathy calls to her. "Remember what we spoke about. Now drop the subject and leave it be... And never speak of it again." Jaunita(Gloria) seemed humbled by Cathy's statements. "Now, Cathy...", I started to say after a moment of silence, "Why did you had to wake me up?" "Huh?... Oh, Yeah... first, the bleeding stopped...", Cathy answered. "And?...", I asked. "Its getting late.", Cathy stated. "Oh...", I started to say. "Its not like Brooklyn Tech, we got a long train ride ahead of us...", Cathy said. "Yeah... I know.", I answer her, "Get me my pants and shirt from my bag, please." Cathy hands over my clothing from my bag, which I proceed to put on. The three of us continue to put away our belongings, mostly my beach towel which is placed into my bag. The other items, mostly the bags of trash, we picked up to take with with us tot he nearest trash can. Together we walked to the parking lot to catch the bus. Little was said though some things were left unfinished. I slept through most of the train ride, which Jaunita(Gloria) and Cathy both gave me a very passonate kiss when they got off at Atlantic Avenue. From there, they walked to Cathy's parent's home. Unfortunately, that kissed was witnessed by everyone on the train, including one of Randal's Brothers: James, who was entering the train through another entrance with some lady friend he was with. Nothing happened on the train ride home, though I managed to limp home with this headache and collapse on the bed. Tomarrow will be another day. # |