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September 12th: A Long Saturday. Tired from yesterday's frantic activities, I stay in bed as I possibly could. The Saturday Morning cartoons would have made a more promising morning, but with Jorge locking himself in the bathroom for his daily routine and Grandma singing outloud those deafening Penticostal Church lyrics, I would prefered to be left alone. But not even the cat would give me that much of a break. The time between 8:30 and 11:45 flies by as I try to waste the time away under my covers. Sometime around 10 o'clock, Jorge yells at me about guests in the house for me, for which I ignore. At 11:30, he yells some more, saying something about my guests, grandma having left to do some shopping and he needed to leave. I contined to stay in bed. He leaves the room open, allowing Meeshie to walk in and out as she pleases, jumping onto my bed to check on me before jumping to the other bed. 'Damn Cat', I had to think to myself, but at least she got off the bed. Silently my guest walks into the room and stand in between the beds and looks at mine with my wrapped up tightly within my blankets. Reaching down, I can feel the person trying to part my hair, and then sit down next to me on my bed. "Fernando?", a female voice asks. I try to ignore it as best as I can. "Fernando?", she asks again, with a gently shove to try to get me up. "Whooo--aht... is it?", I drag out slowly, trying to crawl deeper into the blankets. "Fernando- wake up...", she saids, adding, "Please?" "I'm awake...", I said 1/2 sleepy from under the blankets. "I need you to be fully awake and sitting up... Please?", she saids and asks. "I'm tired.", I answered. "Fernando!!!", she says in an angered tone. "What is it?!!", I said, matching the tone given and having turned on the bed to face her. "Shit!", I yell back as I cover my eyes against the light of the sun that was coming fom the window. I slowly got up, sliding upon the bed onto a sitting position, and reaching to the night stand between the two beds, gathering my glasses to put them on. "What the fuck is it?", I ask bothered and angered. "Didn't you read my note?", she asked. "No.", I tell her. "I want us to work.", she started to say, "But you're not helping." "After all that has been said and done by you during the summer- after all the threats and belittleing promises, you still want us to be together?", I ask. "Yes...", she said. "You better go suck my damn dick first.", I tell her, not as a demand but as a demeaning act. She sits there silently looking at me. "Alright...", she says, as she leans over to me trying to find an openning within the blankets. I take her by the shoulders and push her away from me. "Dont you fucking dare...", I tell her. "Then what do you want?", she asks. "I dont want it from you- thats for sure.", I tell her. "Then what do you want?", she asks. "Look... wait for me in the living room, alright?", I tell her. "But...", she tries to argue. "Look! Just Go Wait For Me- Its Not Like I'm Going To Leave Through The Window- I Live On The 13th Floor For God's Sakes!", I yell at her, trying to best hold back my tone with her. "Alright, I'll wait for you.", she says as she starts to cry. "And Close the Door When you Leave.", I tell her as she gets up and starts to walk out the room. She closes the door behind her, with the door lock going 'CLACK!'. I take a deep sigh and think about it for a moment. Meeshie jumps from the Jorge's bed and back onto mine, walking onto my lap and nuzzling against my belly. I wanted to pick up the cat and throw her across the room, but I hold back, because she was not the cause of the problems. Instead, I pick her up and place her in a warm spot between me and the wall. She looks about the area before settling down into it. I get up and sit upon the edge of the bed, listening in on Mary with my sensitive hearing. From what I can hear, she is there on one of the chairs sitting silently, and she was not alone. 'Damn her- she brought a friend', I think to myself. I get up off the bed and walk about the room, gathering some clean clothes to put on. Once dressed, I open the door to leave. Meeshie takes it that I was not going to stay and pounces off the bed and dashes out the room, just stopping in apartment hallway. I step out, keeping myself from looking down the hall to see who Mary was with, instead heading into the bathroom where I wash out my mouth. After taking care of some of the basic hygenetic needs, I walk into the kitchen, with the cat following me behind. There I look around, finding breakfast was already made but cold. I take some time to warm it up and take it to the tiny dining area to eat it. Being exposed to the living room, I can see that Mary was on the couch, but her friend was on the rocking chair with its back towards me. Taking that as a visual note, I sit down and eat my breakfast. Meeshie hops onto my lap, forcing me to take her and put her back down onto the floor, with a pat on her rear to shoo her away. She takes a few trotting steps into the living room, and looks up at the two who were there while taking a couple of spinning steps. She stops and head for the one who was at the rocking chair, which says that it is somebody that she knows. I take the dirty dishes to the kitchen and place them into the sink. Looking about the refrigerator, and at other various places, I finally give myself a once-over before stepping out into the living room. "What is it that you want?", I ask Mary as I between the livingroom and the dining room, looking at her. She just looks up at me, on the verge of crying. "Didn't you read my letter?", she asks. "Why should I?", I ask her, continueing, "You've called me a monster, a vengeful bastard, a motherfucker and who knows what else- when all the while it was I who was attacked, not me attacking them." She looks at me, about to answer but I interupt her, "And this last summer you told me to leave you alone. Yet it has been you that has come to bother me. How about you leaving me alone for once." "That was not nice to say, Fernando.", the other person in the rocking said. "Grace?", I ask as I step into the livingroom for a closer look. "Who else would it be? I know grandma would not have allowed her to stay alone with you.", she added. "Why are you here?", I ask. "To make sure that you did not sleep the day away.", she stated. "And if I did?", I ask. "I would have gotten you out of bed.... somehow.", she stated. I take a deep sigh, "There is no winning with you girls, now is there?" "With me, no.", Grace said. "Grace... I know why she is here, why are you here?", I ask. "Just making sure that you dont end up as a newspaper headline.", she said. "I'm not going to hurt her.", I tell her. "What makes you so sure of that?", she said. "As she stated to me so many times before, I dont want her in my life anymore. But I will not be running back to her like she has been with me.", I explain. "And what about her needs?", Grace asks. "Dont make me laugh...", I tell her. "Fernando... I just want to talk to you, see what we can have together.", Mary says. "There is nothing for us anymore, Mary.", I started, "The thing I dont get is that you tell me to leave you alone but it is you that comes running to me. Dont you think that I want to be left alone too? Damn you , I swear." "Fernando...", Grace says to get my attenttion. "What?", I almost bark at her. "You're going abut it the wrong way.", she tells me. "No... you dont understand it. For whatever reason she wants to play with my emotions, she is willing to bait it with what ever she got to hook them.", I explain. "And how are you so sure about that?", Grace asks. "Mary, you want me to decide, you better be on my bed and be ready to fuck...", I tell her. Mary looks at me sad and unsure as to what to do, but slowly gets up, starting to unbutton her blouse. "Sit Back Down, Girl!", Grace yells at her. Mary freezes in her tracks, unsure what to do. "I Said For You To Sit Back Down, Girl!", Grace yells at her again. Mary steps back and sits down on the couch. Grace gives her an angry look before turning to me and gives me some of the same. "What?", I tell her. "I swear, Fernando.", Grace says at me. "What?", I say, repeating myself. "Maybe it was a good thing that I did arrived, or the both of you would have ended up in your bed making babies.", she scolds at me. "Maybe we would, maybe we wouldn't.", I began to explain, "But at least we would have some time to figure out a few things, and I would have kicked her out." "FERNANDO!", Grace yells as Mary starts to cry. "If you put me through what she has over the years, I would throw you out too.", I tell her, "Accusing me attacking Alfonso and Ricky, when it was they who has sabotoshed both the gym equipment and the biology lab. Putting them in the hospital when it was they who pulled out guns to my head ad sought my death- yes, I fought them and would have killed them but only because they tried to kill me. In Alfonso's words- 'With you out the way, I can fuck Mary any and everytime I want.' But yet, I am blamed for everything bad that has happened- fuck that, fuck her, and if you want to get in the way- fuck you too Grace." For a second, Mary stops crying after having heard what I had to say to Grace. "Its because of you I have to leave Julia Richman.", I then pointed at Mary. "Fernando- thats not nice to say.", Grace goes to Mary's defense. "What? The damn truth is not nice to say? The Truth Hurts- and face it, I swear... I have been hurt enough because of her, because I loved her... damn it...", I say loudly on the verge of breaking down. But I stop suddenly and step away from them and head back into my room, closing the door behind me. Grace had gotten up off the rocking chair and stepped into the hallway to see me enter my room. Slowly she walks down the hall to the door, and leans next to it. Mary immediately follows and stands behind her. If there were any set of girls who were so much alike but yet opposite of each other, this pair would be it. If it were to be a crime to love both, then so be it. But there is a difference in relationship between the two, one is a lover or at best a former lover and the other that of a friend. "Fernando?", Grace asks as she stands by the door. "I want to be left alone.", I yell back. "Fernando...", Grace says, as she tries the door knob. The lock opens and the door should be able to open, but its always been a tricky door to handle, requiring a little more force to open it. Somehow she manages to open it with some effort on her part. I have already went back into the bed and under the covers, my pants on the floor for them to see that I was not exactly decent under the blankets. Grace steps into the room as Meeshie takes it as her cue to run in between everyone's feet to enter the room first and jump onto my bed. Grace keeps herself from saying various profanities. I try not to laugh as to what was happening. Eventually she manages to step into the room and stand in the middle between my brother's and my bed. Mary slowly walks in after her, looking around to see where the cat was. Grace takes another step foward, kicking my pants to the side and stops half way the length of my bed. She looks at me, more angry than anything else, but realizing that this is my domain where I am master of my realm. "What the hell is wrong with you, Fernando?!!", Grace said aloud. "Nothing.", I replied from under the blankets. "Then why cant you work things out with Mary?", Grace asks, as she slowly sat on Jorge's bed. "You know our history, perhaps not the little details, but you know the gist of it.", I tell her. "Then refresh my memory.", Grace mockingly saids. "Why not ask for her version.", I tell her. I can sense that Grace had turned to face Mary for just a second at that moment. Mary slowly sat down at the foot of my bed, forcing me to move my feet away from her. "Where shall I begin?", Mary said meekishly with a gulp. "You dont have to say anything.", Grace tells her. "I asked for you to answer, not her." "Then tell me, what is you damn interest in all this?", I try holding back from yelling at her. "I have much interest in all this, much of it personal.", Grace answers. "How about elaborating on some of them...", I said. "How about you begin to refresh my memory.", Grace adds to the end of my sentence. "Not until you tell me why you want me to continue on with a very dead and ugly relationship.", I tell her. "I'm ugly?", Mary started to say silently, on the verge of crying. "No- you are not ugly!", Grace tells her, "Its Fernando who is the one who is being ugly." "I'd rather be ugly than dead.", I tell her. "Fernando!", Grace yells back. "Look Grace, this relationship is dead. Now if Mary hinks that she can fucking come here and fuck me back into it, she is welcomed to try. I know it wont work, but at least I'll get some pussy out of it.", I explain to her sarcastically. "So, thats what its all about... sex?", Grace asks as Mary starts to silently cry, biting hard on her lower lip as to not bawl out. "For me it will always be about the sex, whether you understand it or not.", I further explain. "You just another typical male- I swear, I thought you were different.", Grace saids. "I'm a male, just like any other, I got needs and wants and desires. And right now, you are interfering with me in getting some of those fulfilled.", I tell her. Mary slowly gets up and walks out of the room, seconds later the bathroom door closes. I continue talking while she was gone, "Now, if you want to watch, by all means continue to sit on my brother's bed." "Fernando!", Grace almost yells. "If you want to participate, you can drop those panties right now.", I tell her. Mary walks back into the room slowly, holding her pocketbook with one hand and the other in it. "Grace, uhm... would you give us some privacy. Please?", she then asks. "Maybe I'll watch after all, and perhaps join you two in I'm interested.", Grace says as she turns to her but continues to keep her eyes on me. "What?", Mary asks. "She wants to watch, you crazy bitch.", I tell her. She stands there unsure how to answer, fixated in place. "That was not nice- calling her a bitch.", Grace said to break the several seconds of silence between us all. "She's a bitch, alright? She was fucking other guys- Ricky and Alfonso while I was going out with her. She was not even a virgin when we finally did, though she told me that she was.", I tell her. "Fernando- you're going too far with this.", Grace says out loud. "Am I?, She's the one that lied to me since the day we started to go out. She's the one that could have stopped all the things that happened to me but didn't. She's the one that thinks that she can control me with what she has in between her legs- but she's wrong. She lies, she manipulative, she controlling- and for what?", I said. Grace sits there in silence, staring at me. "I'll tell you for what- for the valedictorianship of one of the worse high schools in the city. For the power and the grades, to make sure that I do not come back to threaten her position so she can get the scholarships and prizes that she will never use because she will be pregnant with one of their babies. Then she would try to come back and make it look like I am the father, in order to take somebody down with her.", I explain. "That's not true!", Mary yells out. "Oh really. Then start explaining.", I challenge her. "It is not like how you say it is.", Mary started to say outloud and trails down to a whisper at the end. "I'm still waiting for an explaination.", I tell her. "She does not have to explain anything.", Grace interjected before Mary could answer me. "Whether I get to have sex or not today- as soon as the both of you leave, I would win...", I started to say. "How so?", Grace interupted me. "For one- I get her out of my life once and for all.", I tell her. "That is not a nice thing to say.", Grace says. "No, but its the truth and the truth hurts sometimes.", I tell her. "Then why do you want her out of your life?", Grace asks. "Two- whether you leave me as well or not, at least you leave with a better understanding of me.", I explain further. "A better understanding? What is there to understand? You're just like all the others guys out there- a butt sniffing sex hungry dog.", Grace complains. "If you so think like that- then so be it.", I tell her. "HMPH!" as she crosses both her arms and legs. "Now as for you, Mary, you putting out or getting out? Either way I want it done now.", I tell her. She stands there silently, trembling as she slowly pulls out her hand from her purse. A small pistol hidden in her hand; a two shot deringer- of .22 caliber. With her hand at her side as she still clutches her pocketbook, she slowly walks to the bed and sits by me. "Come on, lets go.", Grace says as she leans over to her and grabs her arm to pull her away from me. Mary momentarily looses her balance, and needs to prop herself with the gun holding hand, its metal tip giving off a bright reflection for a brief second. I quickly grab her hand with the gun with my left, pinning it to the bed, while reaching into the back of my pillow by the headboard and pull out my gun which I quickly arch to her temple. "So thats why you came here...", I tell her "FERNANDO!", Grace starts screaming. "Go head Mary- show her why you came here.", I tell her. Mary tries to pull her head away from me but I keep the gun pressed tightly against her temple. I squeeze her wrists hard enough to make her move her fingers difficult- pinning the tendons that run along the ball of the wrist against the bones, then I slowly lift her hand above me for Grace to see. "Make any attempt to pull the trigger and I'll shoot first", I tell her as the hand with the gun floats above me for a moment. "Now let go.", I added. Mary shakes her head no. "I said, let go.", I said louder, adding a bit more pressure "No!", Mary cries out. "Then have it your way...", I tell her, as I squeeze down on her wrist, making her open it. A soft cracking sound can be heard as I tighten upon her, and she lets go- dropping the gun onto my lap. Then she pulls hard to make me let go and runs out of the room, continueing down the house and stops at the main door, crying. I reach down and pick up the gun she had left behind and show it to Grace, "You see, I cant trust her. Not then, not now, not ever." Grace sits there in shock as I place the gun onto my brother's bed next to her. Then I look at my weapon, checking its safety and realizing that I pulled out the wrong one- the swivel clip on the bottom of the handle tells me that it was my air-b.b. gun that I pulled out and not my .25 caliber that I have own since childhood, "Damn, I took out the wrong one." I then place my gun on the bed and sit up, uncovering myself and getting out of the bed in just my fruit of the looms briefs. Stepping out to my room door, I look down the hallway of the apartment and see Mary balled up by the exit door, crying. I could only think to myself, 'You failed, Mary. And you will never have another chance like this again.' I go back into the bed, taking my gun and put it back behind the pillow and between the matress and head board. While still having my hand in that tight area, I search for my other weapon and do not find it. "Damn, where is it.", I say to myself. "How about putting on some clothes, Fernando!", Grace finally blurts out after almost a minute of me searching for my gun. With my hand still in between the matress and headboard, I turn to her, "This is my room and my house, and if you dont like it- you can just leave." "There is something called courtesy.", she stated. "Yeah- and she's outside by the door crying. Really Grace, you are too well protected to actually see what is going on in the outside world.", I tell her. Then I pull my empty hand out from the bed and give up searching, "Damn, I'll look for it another time." Then I turn to her, "And why are you complaining- you seen me in less." "Yes, I know, but at least you can put something on right now, back then you couldn't.", she tries to explain. "In a tight wet bathing suit at the pool and at the life guards' locker room. In my underwear at the hospital while I was strung up like a puppet in traction- hovering above the bed. In noting on those days you used to help me get dressed when I was blind- so, whats the problem?", I explain before asking. Grace stays quiet for a while, thinking for a response that I would not try to shoot down. Finally, she speaks, "The problem is that now such things can be helped..." "This is my room in my house, and I can be as dressed as I like to be. Now if you dont like me to be as dressed as I am, you can get out.", I tell her. She remains quiet for a bit. "The door is over there.", I point to it to remind her. "I think I'll stay for now.", Grace says. "Then do me the favor and throw that bitch out my house.", I tell her. "That is not a nice thing to say about her... or anyone else.", Grace says, whispering to herself the last three words. "After you seen her try to make an attempt to end my life, you would still consider her still worth of some good?", I almost yell at her as I reach over to Mary's pistol press my thumb against it onto my open palm. "Everyone has some goood in them.", she started to say. "She tried to commit immortal sin, an unforgiveable act of murder in the eyes of god- in front of you. And yet you think there is some good left in her?", I hold back from yelling until I reach my boiling point. Then I show the gun to her as a reminder as to what almost happened. "How about you get the fuck out my house and take that scallywag hoe with you and maybe there will be some salvation to be handed around in the streets for her- GO FIND IT!", as I point at the door. "Fernando- its unneccessary to be going off like that...!", Grace almost yells back. "Get out my house and I dont ever want to see you face unless you have the approprieate appollogies to say from it. Now get out!", as I started to walk to the room. I refrain from openning the door violently, but open it with a very tight grip on the door knob. Walking out into the hall, I head towards Mary who was still sitting by the door in a tight little ball. Grace follows behind but closes the distance btween us and manages to put herself between Mary and me. "Get up Mary, and get out...", I say to her. She looks at me from behind Grace. "I said to get out.", as I walked around Grace and open the door to the ouside hall. She first looks at me and then at the hall before deciding to take her time to get up of the floor before starting to walk out the door. As she approached the open door way, I place my arm across it to block her. "I'm getting out, like you said for me to do so.", Mary says in a quiet tone. "Before you go,", I started to say before putting her gun to her temple, "You have threatened my life and is now my enemy. I dont want to ever see you again because if I do, I will suceed in where you have failed." I then take the gun off her temple and stuff it into her pocketbook. She gives me a strange look, reaching in and taking the gun but not pulling it out. "Dont even try it, I took the bullets out, and you are not as fast or as strong as Ricky and Alfonso, and I put them both in the hospital.", I tell her. She draws her empty hand out of the purse, before looking out into the hall. I remove my arm from it. She walks into the hall and stops by the elevator as I watch her every move. Grace steps up to the doorway but stops just by me. "That was uncalled for, Fernando." "Was it? Why dont you go with her and ask her what the fuck I did to deserve it. Then ask her how well I trated her as her boy friend. And for what? To get my ass nearly killed oon several occassions for her? To be called a lair and a monster? To be treated like some outcast? Fuck that- I dont care how good the pussy is, I dont mistreat my girlfriends to end up mistreated myself. I would not even take that from you." I tell her. "I'll be back then." Grace says. "I told you, I dont want to see you unless you have a right and proper appology to give me. You want to be such an elitist church girl- you forget where on the Roman Catholic branch I belong on.", I tell her. "You were born into that position.", she says. "You want to argue some more? I suggest that we dont, for the answers that I will throw at you will be the vulgar truth, and you are not going to like it. Now leave before I forget that I am an gentleman and actually do something stupid.", I tell her. "Have it your way, then.", she says as she steps out into the hall. Without looking back, she walks to the elevator door, and pull on its door to see if it was there. The door opens for her, and they both step in. The door ajacent to mine opens, and my old neighbor and former CIA Operative during the early part of tthe Viet Nam War, steps out with belts of bullets around him and a rather large machine gun at his side. "Everything alright, Fernando?", he said as turns to me after looking up and down the hall. "Everything's alright Leon. Just some stupid ex-girlfriend trouble, thats all.", I explain to him. "Those are the worse kind.", he stated. "What's with the heavy artillary?", I ask. "What heavy artillery?', he asks. "The bullet belt and that machine gun.", I stated to him. "This is nothing. Just cleaning out the old browning before I heard the screaming in your place, thats all.", he said, then adding, "I will always have your back covered." "Thanks... I got to go, but I'll see you later.", I tell him. He gives me a salute and a thumbs up before I disappear behind my door, locking it. I can hear him walk into his plae and close his door. Walking back into my bedroom, I climb back into my bed and take a nap to stop the headache that had started from all this commotion. |