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Ash
Evil Henchman


Joined: 24 Oct 2002
Posts: 267
Location: England

PostPosted: Tue Nov 19, 2002 9:36 am    Post subject: Quotes Reply with quote

I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.

<<<<<<<<<<<ENTER FAVOURITE QUOTES HERE>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
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Ash
Evil Henchman


Joined: 24 Oct 2002
Posts: 267
Location: England

PostPosted: Tue Nov 19, 2002 9:39 am    Post subject: quotes Reply with quote

Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater.
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Ash
Evil Henchman


Joined: 24 Oct 2002
Posts: 267
Location: England

PostPosted: Tue Nov 19, 2002 9:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
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Ash
Evil Henchman


Joined: 24 Oct 2002
Posts: 267
Location: England

PostPosted: Tue Nov 19, 2002 9:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

An American is a man with two arms and four wheels.

A Chinese child
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Fishburne
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Joined: 23 Jul 2002
Posts: 596
Location: Plano, Texas

PostPosted: Tue Nov 19, 2002 9:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

No Matter Where You Go, There You Are"

Buckaroo Banzai

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caspian
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Joined: 02 Jul 2002
Posts: 206
Location: Richmond, Virginia, USA

PostPosted: Tue Nov 19, 2002 10:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

"There and back again, a hobbit holliday" by JRR Tolkin
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Caspian
"Be Good all!" - TVDave
TVCrew Furry Society
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Nameless
Site Owner
Site Owner


Joined: 06 Sep 2002
Posts: 1368
Location: Vienna, Austria

PostPosted: Tue Nov 19, 2002 10:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My quotes & sig collection part 1:

He that teaches himself has a fool for a master. -- Benjamin Franklin

It seems a little silly now, but this country was founded as a protest against taxation.

Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature. -- Rich Kulawiec

Know how to save 5 drowning lawyers? -- No? GOOD!

The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

Needs are a function of what other people have.

This universe shipped by weight, not by volume. Some expansion of the contents may have occurred during shipment.

Computing is the only field in which we consider adding a wing to the building to be maintenance.

...Quoth the server, 404.

The only "intuitive" interface is the nipple. After that, it's all learned.

If the internet routes around failure, why does "www.microsoft.com" resolve?

** Windows has detected a mouse movement.
** Please restart Windows so changes can take effect.

Q: What's the difference between a used car salesman and a computer salesman?
A: The used car salesman knows when he is lying.

In theory, there's no difference between theory and practice. In practice, there is.

"The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws"-Tacitus

It is much easier to suggest solutions when you know nothing about the problem.

Lie, n.: A very poor substitute for the truth, but the only one discovered to date.

Maryann's Law: You can always find what you're not looking for.

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Tygon
Site Owner
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Joined: 03 Apr 2001
Posts: 2497
Location: Isernhagen, Lowersaxony, Germany

PostPosted: Tue Nov 19, 2002 11:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

"War never determines who is right. Only who is left."

No idea who said that.


"It's all done... now it just needs to be written"

No idea either but heard it from Maxx.


"Losing my virginity was a career move."

Madonna Twisted Evil


"History doesn't repead itself. I merely rhymes"

Samuel Clemens


"Josh, I think we've created a Monster"

myself in a mail to Josh after we finished the Mara Khan concept Wink

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hikaru
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Joined: 20 Nov 2000
Posts: 1554
Location: Kansas City, KS, USA

PostPosted: Tue Nov 19, 2002 11:56 am    Post subject: Heinlein quotes. Reply with quote

A zygote is a gamete's way of producing more gametes. This may be the purpose of the universe.

When faced with a problem you do not understand, do any part of it you do understand and then look at it again.

Specialization is for Insects.

Most "scientists" are bottle washers and button sorters.

The difference between science and the fuzzy subjects is that science requires reasoning, while those other subjects merely require scholarship.

If it can't be expressed in figures, it's not science; it's an opinion.

Never worry about theory as long as the machinery does what it's supposed to do.

Anyone who can not cope with mathematics is not fully human. At best, he is a tolerable subhuman who has learned to wear shoes, bathe and not make messes in the house.

One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.

Moving parts in rubbing contact requires lubrication to avoid excessive wear. Honorific and formal politeness provide lubrication where people rub together.

There are hidden contradictions in the minds of people who "love nature" while deploring the "artificialities" with which "man has spoiled nature." The obvious contradiction lies in their choice of words, which imply that man and his artifacts are not part of "nature" but beavers and their dams are.

Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done, and why. Then do it.

Expertise in one field does not carry over into other fields. But experts often think so. The narrower their field of knowledge the more likely they are to think so.

You live and learn, or you don't live long.

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently and die gallantly.

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"Coming to you Live and Transcribed..." - TVDave
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hikaru
Administrator


Joined: 20 Nov 2000
Posts: 1554
Location: Kansas City, KS, USA

PostPosted: Tue Nov 19, 2002 11:56 am    Post subject: More quotes. Reply with quote

"The juvenile seasquirt swims the sea searching for a rock to cling to. When it finds a suitable spot and takes root, it doesn't need its brain anymore so it eats it. It's rather like men after they get married."
- unknown

"Swallow a toad in the morning and you will encounter nothing more disgusting the rest of the day."
- unknown

"I've always wanted to be somebody, but now I see I should have been more specific."
- Lily Tomlin

"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
- Albert Einstein

"Its amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit."
- Harry S. Truman

"The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents. "
- Nathaniel Borenstein

"Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there."
- Will Rogers

"People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes."
- Abigail Van Buren

"The best way to save face is to keep the lower part of it shut."
- Nathan J. Matteson

"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family... in another city."
- George Burns

"Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon."
- Susan Ertz

"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."
- Mark Twain

"Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future."
- Niels Bohr

"To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography and the dancers hit each other."
- Jack Handy

"I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste."
- David Bissonette

"The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
- Joe Theisman

"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils."
- Hector Berlioz

_________________
Read my comic: http://www.ImperialGelf.com
Read my stories at http://www.IC-Stories.com
http://katayamma.deviantart.com/

"Coming to you Live and Transcribed..." - TVDave
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Nameless
Site Owner
Site Owner


Joined: 06 Sep 2002
Posts: 1368
Location: Vienna, Austria

PostPosted: Tue Nov 19, 2002 11:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

My Quotes & Sig collection, part 2:

The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public. -- Sir George Jessel

Paul's Law: In America, it's not how much an item costs, it's how much you save.

Welcome to the Gates of Hell.
Abandon all hope ye who enter this Window.

I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather.
Not screaming in terror, like his passengers.

Jesus (Anne)! I can't believe you said that! That's sick, perverted and depraved, even for you!
So when do we start? S.S.D.D. 2002-03-15

It's hard to think of you as the end result of millions of years of evolution.

Live fast, die young, and leave a flat patch of fur on the highway! -- The Squirrels' Motto (The "Hell's Angels of Nature")

"I aint stupid, I'm ingorant. Stupid is forever."

"God can forgive, it is our duty to make sure they arrive there."

Its been say in many ways, General Patton said it best in WW2:
"Your Enemy's job is to die for his country, your job is to help that poor bastard achive his goal!"
or
"It's God's place to judge them, it's our duty to arrange the meeting"

Buttons:
- Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.
- Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.
- Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.
- This isn't an office-It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
- I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
- I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
- You! Off my planet!
- Therapy is expensive & popping bubble wrap is cheap! You choose.
- Practice random acts of intelligence & senseless deeds of self-control.
- Bottomless pit of needs & wants.
- Does your train of thought have a caboose, or just a lot of empty boxcars?
- And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
- I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
- A PBS mind in an MTV world.
- Sarcasm is just one of the fine services we offer.
- Better living through denial.
- Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
- Suburbia: where they tear out the trees & then name streets after them.
- Adult child of alien invaders.
- A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
- Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep.
- Back off! You're standing on my aura.
- Don't worry. I forgot your name, too!
- Adults are just kids who owe money.
- I work 40 hours a week to be this poor.
- Can I trade this job for what's behind door #2?
- Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
- Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
- Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
- No vacancy. Earth is full. Go home.
- Is it time for your medication or mine?
- I refuse to star in your psychodrama.
- I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
- How do I set a laser printer to stun?
- Meandering to a different drummer.
- I'm not tense - just terribly, terribly alert.
- Fanaticism: redoubling your efforts after forgetting the goa

Lady Nancy Astor: "Winston, if you were my husband, I'd put poison in your coffee."
Winston Churchill: "Nancy, if you were my wife, I'd drink it."

Schizophrenia beats dining alone.

If brute force dosen't solve your problems... then you're not using enough of it...

You can observe a lot just by watching. -- Yogi Berra

"One World, One Web, One Program" - Microsoft Promotional Ad
"Ein Volk, Ein Reich, Ein Fuhrer" - Adolf Hitler

Everyone is entitled to my opinion.

There are three types of people in this world: Those who can count, and those who can't.

If we are what we eat, then the only real humans are cannibals.

--WorLord (if more government is the answer, than the question is really stupid)

"We are all born originals -- why is it so many of us die copies?" -- Edward Young

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. -- Albert Einstein

A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.

... I used to be undecided, now I don't know.

It's ironic that Microsoft's goal is to write good software and Linux's goal is world domination.

A million monkeys on a million typewriters will eventually pound out Shakespear.
10 Monkeys, 5 typewriters - Windows98,
1 Monkey and a ball of Dung - Windows 2000.

99 little bugs in the code, 99 bugs in the code,
fix one bug, compile it again...
101 little bugs in the code....

It's easy to forgive someone... once you have gotten even with him.

~ Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity ~

"I have no respect for a man who can only spell a word one way." - Mark Twain

"Half of this game is 90% mental."

... 1BRI (1 Brain Cell Required Interface)

"In mathematics, you don't understand things. You just get used to them." -Johann von Neumann (1903 - 1957)

I've lost my faith in nihilism.

"Computers are useless. They can only give you answers."
Pablo Picasso

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

A computer without a Microsoft operating system is like a dog without bricks tied to it's head

Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

What you do today will cost you a day of your life

The_Messenger's Law: If they guy you stole it from can't remember who he stole it from, it must be under the BSD license.

2 + 2 = 5, for sufficiently large values of 2.

Ths siG is kurentlee n alFa rleese verzun 0.0.0.0.-1a

Why do they call it 'Windows' when the source is closed, wouldn't 'Walls' be more descriptive?

[What we need is either less corruption, or more chance to participate in it]

Meets quality standards: Compiles without errors

Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.

I'm a sysadmin and I'm ok | I grep all night and chown all day...

Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool

If it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

Kill -9 'em all, let [email protected] sort 'em out.

Some people have no respect for age unless it's bottled.

Concept, n.: Any "idea" for which an outside consultant billed you more than $25,000.

If it happens once, it's a bug. If it happens twice, it's a feature. If it happens more than twice, it's a design philosophy.

Experience, n.: Something you don't get until just after you need it.

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RealDesertFox
Registered User


Joined: 09 Oct 2002
Posts: 503

PostPosted: Tue Nov 19, 2002 12:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"And when he gets to heaven,
To saint Peter he will tell,
One more soldier reporting sir,
I've served my time in hell."
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Concolor
Registered User


Joined: 19 Nov 2001
Posts: 832
Location: South Carolina

PostPosted: Tue Nov 19, 2002 1:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I really shouldn't read these things at work! I've nearly ruptured myself in trying to contain my laughter. The ones about Micros**t were especially poignant, considering that is the platform our corporation has settled on.

Here are a few of my favorites.

From Ashleigh Brilliant:
"Appreciate me now and avoid the rush."
"By doing just a little every day, I can gradually let the task overwhelm me."
"Having failed to conquer myself, my best hope now is to arrange an alliance with myself."
"I always like to know what I'm doing, but there are times when nobody will tell me."
"I'll give up my bad habits as soon as equally satisfying good habits become available."
"Life may have no meaning. Or even worse, it may have a meaning of which I disapprove."
"My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right."
"My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating."
"Not only don't I know what tomorrow will bring, I'm still not entirely certain what yesterday brought."
"Try to relax and enjoy the crisis."

----------

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. ---Socrates

Money helps one tolerate poverty. ---Allais Alphonse

Most people don't have problems -- they have decisions they don't want to make. ---Erica Jong

A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience. ---Doug Larson

There is nothing worse than a sharp image of a fuzzy concept. ---Ansel Adams

Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves. ---William Pitt

If you find yourself in a fair fight, you didn't plan it properly. ---Nick Lappos

I refused to attend his funeral. But I wrote a very nice letter explaining that I approved of it. ---Mark Twain

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. ---Will Rogers

For every complex problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong. ---Henry Louis Mencken

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire. ---Sir Winston Churchill

----------

Here are some from Ambrose Bierce in The Devil's Dictionary

CALAMITY, n.: Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
BIGOT, n.: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
EXISTENCE, n.
A transient, horrible, fantastic dream,
Wherein is nothing yet all things do seem:
From which we're wakened by a friendly nudge
Of our bedfellow Death, and cry: "O fudge!"
EXHORT, v.t.: In religious affairs, to put the conscience of another upon the spit and roast it to a nut-brown discomfort.
LANGUAGE, n.: The music with which we charm the serpents guarding another's treasure.
EDUCATION, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.

----------

He who sacrifices his conscience to ambition burns a picture to obtain the ashes. --- Chinese Proverb


And, finally:

It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: "And this, too, shall pass away." How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction! ---Abraham Lincoln

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Pflarrian
Registered User


Joined: 05 Apr 2001
Posts: 251
Location: Wandering around...

PostPosted: Tue Nov 19, 2002 2:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

More buttons:

- I live in another dimension but have a summer home in reality.
- Reality is an Illusion caused by an Imaginary deficiency.
- So, has the F**K-up fairy visited us yet today?


In the beginning, there was nothing. Then God said "Let there be LIGHT!" There was still nothing, but by golly, you could see it!

- A friend of mine who wishes to remain un-named, and my apologies if I accidentally offended anyone by including it here.


..Then God said "Let there be LIGHT", and Strom Thurmon said "It's about damned time!"

- Red (Yes, Red from Otherworlds is based on a real person)


I could add a lot of other ones, but they're mostly from movies. For example,

"You idiot, that was a paint round!"

- Big Joe from the movie "Kelly's Heroes"
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Ash
Evil Henchman


Joined: 24 Oct 2002
Posts: 267
Location: England

PostPosted: Tue Nov 19, 2002 4:29 pm    Post subject: quotes Reply with quote

"What goes up must come down. Ask any system administrator."
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