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Fishburne
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Joined: 23 Jul 2002
Posts: 596
Location: Plano, Texas

PostPosted: Wed Nov 20, 2002 11:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

and if you have no hands or arms??? Shocked

explain that one hotshot. Razz

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Pflarrian
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Joined: 05 Apr 2001
Posts: 251
Location: Wandering around...

PostPosted: Wed Nov 20, 2002 12:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Anything that can go wrong, will.

- (Perhaps the most famous) one of Murphy's Laws Rolling Eyes


"Yes, and it will usually do so at the most inopportune time, taking one or more other things/systems with it."

- Pflarrian Collifox (in one of my more cynical moments) Evil or Very Mad


"But by the same token, anything that can go right will."

- Pflarrian Collifox (in a more positive mood) Wink


"A $100 picture tube will destroy itself in order to save a 25 cent transistor."

- Another of Murphy's Laws (this one a little less known)
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Jbird
Forum Hatchetman


Joined: 12 Aug 2002
Posts: 554
Location: Reloading.

PostPosted: Wed Nov 20, 2002 1:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Saw this one on the back of an ammo troop on the way back from the mess hall.

"If you see me running... try to keep up."

Sort of ties in with Murphy.

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Ash
Evil Henchman


Joined: 24 Oct 2002
Posts: 267
Location: England

PostPosted: Wed Nov 20, 2002 3:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'd enjoy the same day more if it started later.

Wouldn't we all!! Very Happy
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Ash
Evil Henchman


Joined: 24 Oct 2002
Posts: 267
Location: England

PostPosted: Wed Nov 20, 2002 4:35 pm    Post subject: quotes Reply with quote

Everybody hates a literalist.
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Nameless
Site Owner
Site Owner


Joined: 06 Sep 2002
Posts: 1368
Location: Vienna, Austria

PostPosted: Wed Nov 20, 2002 4:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's not a quote, but Arctic Fox you could put more than one quote per post. Confused
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Ash
Evil Henchman


Joined: 24 Oct 2002
Posts: 267
Location: England

PostPosted: Wed Nov 20, 2002 5:02 pm    Post subject: it is Reply with quote

It is a quote, just a bad one from my rejects pile.

I've got to find some more good ones. Sad
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Concolor
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Joined: 19 Nov 2001
Posts: 832
Location: South Carolina

PostPosted: Wed Nov 20, 2002 10:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

LOVE Murphy's Laws!

Samuelson's Law: The other line always moves faster.
White's Corollary to Samuelson's Law: Changing lines will automatically cause a malfunction in the necessary equipment at the head of the line.

Anyone you ask for help on a sticky problem will be just as stumped as you. However, if your (boss / arch-rival / ex-significant-other) casually walks up to your desk, the answer will be immediately and intuitively obvious to that person.

The Law of Non-Reciprocal Expectations:
Positive expectations yield negative results.
Negative expectations yield negative results.

If it ain't broke . . . it doesn't have enough features yet.

A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.

A pipe gives a wise man time to think, and a fool something to put in his mouth.

Never underestimate the incompetence of a committee.

The positive outcomes of any meeting are in inverse proportion to the number of management representatives involved multiplied by the length of the meeting in minutes.

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Elfen_Furry
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Joined: 18 Jun 2002
Posts: 2601
Location: NYC NY

PostPosted: Wed Nov 20, 2002 10:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

As it was used to be posted by the Airforce 2nd division, and probably a few other seconds as well...:



Lead, Follow, or Get Out of My Way!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

One of my more colorful metaphors:

If you are going to sell yourself like a whore, be the prettiest whore out there!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

What I always tell the kids at school when holding the door for them:

Age before beauty; remember, you might be young, but I'm cute...
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Galadrion
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Joined: 17 Aug 2001
Posts: 378
Location: Portland, Oregon

PostPosted: Thu Nov 21, 2002 3:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Elfen_Furry wrote:
Age before beauty; remember, you might be young, but I'm cute...

Careful, E.F, one of 'em may - like me at that age - have heard of Dorothy Parker's answer:

"Why, thank you, my dear; pearls before swine..."

Concolor wrote:
A pipe gives a wise man time to think, and a fool something to put in his mouth.

One of my favorite Twain quotes. Somewhere, I've got a book of smoker's quotations; he features in just under half the quotes in the book. If I find it, I'll start tossing some out.

Concolor wrote:
Never underestimate the incompetence of a committee.

The positive outcomes of any meeting are in inverse proportion to the number of management representatives involved multiplied by the length of the meeting in minutes.

Too bloody right! We're going through Ranking & Review at work right now. One of the lovely "features" (and I'm using the word in the same sense that it's had in other posts here) of this process is I get to write my own evaluation... with input from my Operations Manager(s) (two this year) and associated engineer(s) (likewise two). And since they're the folks who'll be defending my evaluation to the R & R committee... well, I have to be pretty careful which "suggestions" I don't take. Talk about yer prototypical "too many chiefs, not enough Indians" situation...

Oh, right. A quote. I need a quote. Well, I'm coming up blank, but I do have a question - not in need of an answer, but just one that forces a hard reset in the brain. Why, when you're "making a living" you're barely making enough to survive, but when you're "making a killing" you're making enough to really live?
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NovaFox
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Joined: 16 Oct 2002
Posts: 59
Location: Weiden i.d. Oberpfalz, Germany

PostPosted: Thu Nov 21, 2002 8:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

"We don't try things, because they are difficult. They are difficult, because we don't try them."

"For me life was war itself."

"Exscuse me for not responding, but I'm actuallys sitting in front of my PC and feeling very tiredddddefnqegnqgn0n22...."

"Trespassers will be shot. Survivours will be shot again."

"You shall avoid a fight, if its possible. You shall try to hurt, not to kill. You shall kill, if there are no other possiblities left." (codex of Tai Chi sword fighters)

"If you want to change the world, go into your room, look around and see, what you can change there." Konfuzius.

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Pflarrian
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Joined: 05 Apr 2001
Posts: 251
Location: Wandering around...

PostPosted: Thu Nov 21, 2002 12:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Stop! Don't kill him! If you kill him, he won't learn nothin'!"

- The Riddler from Batman Forever


Avoiding a fight is the best option. Talk things out, don't act too arrogant or too meek, and try to work the problem through. If you succeed, so much the better, and if you fail, and a fight breaks out anyways, fight to win.

- Negotiator's credo, as reported in the Academy of Mirial's Rock.


"If you're going to fight anyways, fight to embarrass, humiliate, and/or knock some sense into your opponent(s), and not to kill them unless it is absolutely necessary. A dead opponent cannot recognize that he/she has been beaten and learns nothing from the encounter."

- Pflarrian & Brian's addendum to the Negotiator's credo.


If at first you don't succeed, blame marketing for requiring too many features.

Those who can, do. Those who cannot, teach. (This is the classic version of this, or something similar to it, anyways)

Those who can should make sure everyone else around them learns how. Those who cannot should learn. (My version)

It is wise not to crack jokes during meals unless you like being covered in your guests' food.

First shot's high, second shot's low, where the heck did the third shot go? (A once-common joke referring to the handguns from the pre-Napoleonic era).
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Ash
Evil Henchman


Joined: 24 Oct 2002
Posts: 267
Location: England

PostPosted: Thu Nov 21, 2002 4:48 pm    Post subject: quotes Reply with quote

"I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information"

Calvin & Hobbes

ahhhhh..... so ignorance is bliss.

"Weasiling out of things is a fine art, it's what sets humans apart from the animal kingdom, except the weasil"

Homer Simpson
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Hortmage
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Joined: 28 Oct 2001
Posts: 243
Location: Midwest

PostPosted: Thu Nov 21, 2002 9:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Do not hurt where holding is enough;
do not wound where hurting is enough;
do not maim where wounding is enough;
and kill not where maiming is enough;
the greatest warrior is one who does not need to kill.

"The Code of the Land," from Stephen R. Donaldson's Lord Foul's Bane, book one of the Crhonicle of Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever.

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Last edited by Hortmage on Sun Nov 24, 2002 12:16 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Elfen_Furry
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Joined: 18 Jun 2002
Posts: 2601
Location: NYC NY

PostPosted: Sun Nov 24, 2002 12:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

"I wonder how much longer can I get away with this deviltry...?"
-Bugs Bunny
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