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Fishburne Administrator
Joined: 23 Jul 2002 Posts: 596 Location: Plano, Texas
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Posted: Wed Nov 20, 2002 11:03 am Post subject: |
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and if you have no hands or arms???
explain that one hotshot. _________________ "Do not Taunt Happy Fun God" -Cthulhu |
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Pflarrian Registered User
Joined: 05 Apr 2001 Posts: 251 Location: Wandering around...
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Posted: Wed Nov 20, 2002 12:58 pm Post subject: |
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Anything that can go wrong, will.
- (Perhaps the most famous) one of Murphy's Laws
"Yes, and it will usually do so at the most inopportune time, taking one or more other things/systems with it."
- Pflarrian Collifox (in one of my more cynical moments)
"But by the same token, anything that can go right will."
- Pflarrian Collifox (in a more positive mood)
"A $100 picture tube will destroy itself in order to save a 25 cent transistor."
- Another of Murphy's Laws (this one a little less known) |
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Jbird Forum Hatchetman
Joined: 12 Aug 2002 Posts: 554 Location: Reloading.
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Posted: Wed Nov 20, 2002 1:10 pm Post subject: |
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Saw this one on the back of an ammo troop on the way back from the mess hall.
"If you see me running... try to keep up."
Sort of ties in with Murphy. _________________ (00:40:05) nbz: you win at the motherf***ing internet O_O |
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Ash Evil Henchman
Joined: 24 Oct 2002 Posts: 267 Location: England
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Posted: Wed Nov 20, 2002 3:52 pm Post subject: |
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I'd enjoy the same day more if it started later.
Wouldn't we all!! |
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Ash Evil Henchman
Joined: 24 Oct 2002 Posts: 267 Location: England
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Posted: Wed Nov 20, 2002 4:35 pm Post subject: quotes |
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Everybody hates a literalist. |
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Nameless Site Owner
Joined: 06 Sep 2002 Posts: 1368 Location: Vienna, Austria
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Posted: Wed Nov 20, 2002 4:52 pm Post subject: |
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That's not a quote, but Arctic Fox you could put more than one quote per post. _________________ I'm a nut, but there are those who appreciate me for it. |
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Ash Evil Henchman
Joined: 24 Oct 2002 Posts: 267 Location: England
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Posted: Wed Nov 20, 2002 5:02 pm Post subject: it is |
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It is a quote, just a bad one from my rejects pile.
I've got to find some more good ones. |
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Concolor Registered User
Joined: 19 Nov 2001 Posts: 832 Location: South Carolina
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Posted: Wed Nov 20, 2002 10:15 pm Post subject: |
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LOVE Murphy's Laws!
Samuelson's Law: The other line always moves faster.
White's Corollary to Samuelson's Law: Changing lines will automatically cause a malfunction in the necessary equipment at the head of the line.
Anyone you ask for help on a sticky problem will be just as stumped as you. However, if your (boss / arch-rival / ex-significant-other) casually walks up to your desk, the answer will be immediately and intuitively obvious to that person.
The Law of Non-Reciprocal Expectations:
Positive expectations yield negative results.
Negative expectations yield negative results.
If it ain't broke . . . it doesn't have enough features yet.
A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.
A pipe gives a wise man time to think, and a fool something to put in his mouth.
Never underestimate the incompetence of a committee.
The positive outcomes of any meeting are in inverse proportion to the number of management representatives involved multiplied by the length of the meeting in minutes. _________________ Oddly enough, my life is based on a true story. (Ashleigh Brilliant) |
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Elfen_Furry Moderator
Joined: 18 Jun 2002 Posts: 2601 Location: NYC NY
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Posted: Wed Nov 20, 2002 10:46 pm Post subject: |
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As it was used to be posted by the Airforce 2nd division, and probably a few other seconds as well...:
Lead, Follow, or Get Out of My Way!
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One of my more colorful metaphors:
If you are going to sell yourself like a whore, be the prettiest whore out there!
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What I always tell the kids at school when holding the door for them:
Age before beauty; remember, you might be young, but I'm cute... |
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Galadrion Registered User
Joined: 17 Aug 2001 Posts: 378 Location: Portland, Oregon
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Posted: Thu Nov 21, 2002 3:40 am Post subject: |
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Elfen_Furry wrote: | Age before beauty; remember, you might be young, but I'm cute... |
Careful, E.F, one of 'em may - like me at that age - have heard of Dorothy Parker's answer:
"Why, thank you, my dear; pearls before swine..."
Concolor wrote: | A pipe gives a wise man time to think, and a fool something to put in his mouth. |
One of my favorite Twain quotes. Somewhere, I've got a book of smoker's quotations; he features in just under half the quotes in the book. If I find it, I'll start tossing some out.
Concolor wrote: | Never underestimate the incompetence of a committee.
The positive outcomes of any meeting are in inverse proportion to the number of management representatives involved multiplied by the length of the meeting in minutes. |
Too bloody right! We're going through Ranking & Review at work right now. One of the lovely "features" (and I'm using the word in the same sense that it's had in other posts here) of this process is I get to write my own evaluation... with input from my Operations Manager(s) (two this year) and associated engineer(s) (likewise two). And since they're the folks who'll be defending my evaluation to the R & R committee... well, I have to be pretty careful which "suggestions" I don't take. Talk about yer prototypical "too many chiefs, not enough Indians" situation...
Oh, right. A quote. I need a quote. Well, I'm coming up blank, but I do have a question - not in need of an answer, but just one that forces a hard reset in the brain. Why, when you're "making a living" you're barely making enough to survive, but when you're "making a killing" you're making enough to really live? |
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NovaFox Registered User
Joined: 16 Oct 2002 Posts: 59 Location: Weiden i.d. Oberpfalz, Germany
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Posted: Thu Nov 21, 2002 8:55 am Post subject: |
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"We don't try things, because they are difficult. They are difficult, because we don't try them."
"For me life was war itself."
"Exscuse me for not responding, but I'm actuallys sitting in front of my PC and feeling very tiredddddefnqegnqgn0n22...."
"Trespassers will be shot. Survivours will be shot again."
"You shall avoid a fight, if its possible. You shall try to hurt, not to kill. You shall kill, if there are no other possiblities left." (codex of Tai Chi sword fighters)
"If you want to change the world, go into your room, look around and see, what you can change there." Konfuzius. _________________ E = mc˛ + 2d6 |
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Pflarrian Registered User
Joined: 05 Apr 2001 Posts: 251 Location: Wandering around...
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Posted: Thu Nov 21, 2002 12:46 pm Post subject: |
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"Stop! Don't kill him! If you kill him, he won't learn nothin'!"
- The Riddler from Batman Forever
Avoiding a fight is the best option. Talk things out, don't act too arrogant or too meek, and try to work the problem through. If you succeed, so much the better, and if you fail, and a fight breaks out anyways, fight to win.
- Negotiator's credo, as reported in the Academy of Mirial's Rock.
"If you're going to fight anyways, fight to embarrass, humiliate, and/or knock some sense into your opponent(s), and not to kill them unless it is absolutely necessary. A dead opponent cannot recognize that he/she has been beaten and learns nothing from the encounter."
- Pflarrian & Brian's addendum to the Negotiator's credo.
If at first you don't succeed, blame marketing for requiring too many features.
Those who can, do. Those who cannot, teach. (This is the classic version of this, or something similar to it, anyways)
Those who can should make sure everyone else around them learns how. Those who cannot should learn. (My version)
It is wise not to crack jokes during meals unless you like being covered in your guests' food.
First shot's high, second shot's low, where the heck did the third shot go? (A once-common joke referring to the handguns from the pre-Napoleonic era). |
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Ash Evil Henchman
Joined: 24 Oct 2002 Posts: 267 Location: England
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Posted: Thu Nov 21, 2002 4:48 pm Post subject: quotes |
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"I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information"
Calvin & Hobbes
ahhhhh..... so ignorance is bliss.
"Weasiling out of things is a fine art, it's what sets humans apart from the animal kingdom, except the weasil"
Homer Simpson |
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Hortmage Registered User
Joined: 28 Oct 2001 Posts: 243 Location: Midwest
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Posted: Thu Nov 21, 2002 9:42 pm Post subject: |
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Do not hurt where holding is enough;
do not wound where hurting is enough;
do not maim where wounding is enough;
and kill not where maiming is enough;
the greatest warrior is one who does not need to kill.
"The Code of the Land," from Stephen R. Donaldson's Lord Foul's Bane, book one of the Crhonicle of Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever. _________________ Hortmage, the Magic Gardener
Making environmental education fun and MAGICAL!
Last edited by Hortmage on Sun Nov 24, 2002 12:16 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Elfen_Furry Moderator
Joined: 18 Jun 2002 Posts: 2601 Location: NYC NY
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Posted: Sun Nov 24, 2002 12:53 am Post subject: |
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"I wonder how much longer can I get away with this deviltry...?"
-Bugs Bunny |
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