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54 Starts here
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racky raccoon
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 3:39 pm    Post subject: 54 Starts here Reply with quote

Yup its true 54 is posted YAY!!! Lets hope you guys like it i personally am very proud of this chapter

PLZ PLZ PLZ give us the feed back that we need to give our sense of ego a boost Wink

And yes they really are finally we all hoped it and in the end it had to be!! Very Happy

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ChrisFoxx
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 4:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What coon-boy said Smile

Chris
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anthony
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 5:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Gosh! Smile

Good stuff. Got Clarence spot on... Three times... Smile

I did notice a few typos you might want to fix, though.
----
A Beatle’s tee-shirt
----
That should be "A Beatles' tee-shirt", unless the group/artist is actually called 'The Beatle'..
(This one was perpetrated several times)
---
Cindy was stoking his leg lightly for reassurance
---
I've heard about stoking a boiler, but not a leg... Wink

Oh, and here in Norway we always open our presents on the evening, too.
I usually say it's so that the children can wear out the batteries in their toys in the evening, so that they don't have any reason to get up early in the morning on the 25 and the parents get a nice, quiet morning...

Of course, when I give toys to my nephew and niece, I always add a few extra sets, just to annoy my brother... Twisted Evil


Now to finish reading the waaaaay too short chapter...

Edit: Fund another typo:
"You grew up to fast for me"
Should probably be 'too' instead of 'to'.
--
"it was one he had taken not to long after he "
Oops... Another 'to' instead of 'too'...

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racky raccoon
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 6:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well you can put the blame on me for that i guess.

Anything in the chapter apart the typos you liked?

I mean there must be something in the chapter worth saying something about or was it that bad as the things i did wrong was all there was point in talking about?

I MUSH NO....

Ops I'm at it again Rolling Eyes

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anthony
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 6:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I just don't want to spoil the surprise for everyone else...

But that stone was BIG!
I just can't figure out how he could afford it.

Also, I think his mother was rather too 'reasonable' compared to how she has been portrayed before, but that's my opinion.

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racky raccoon
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 6:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

And so the penny drops all over the world.

I'll let you on a little in site in that chapter from yours truly (seeing as i had my reasons for it). The ring well that bit was Chris, Clarence obviously is a good saver, i mean i worked for £100 a week as a shop assistant and was able to save for a ring alot like that in the story. You can put alot in saving if its for something you love so much. Ginger never complained either Laughing

As for Sharron well i was getting SO Pi**ed off with other stories portraying her like a woman who needs Prozac and has paranoid delusions it was getting more and more a caricature of a Sergent Major (and i know a lot of those) so i tried to put a more 'human' gloss on her stern with out the manic episodes of the past i mean shes not part of some cult.

I thought that her son getting engaged and everyone learning more and more of her husband n'nat it will be a good time for her to be written as more mellow and reasonable, that wont mean shes gonna be a hippy or anything just less of things i'm sure they will come to blows again.

It seems maybe it was only me that found her character more and more annoying


I guess people seeing that fact means i wrote it well Wink

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ChrisFoxx
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 7:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

anthony wrote:
Gosh! Smile

Good stuff. Got Clarence spot on... Three times... Smile

I did notice a few typos you might want to fix, though.


Thanks for those! A few were Racky's fault, a few were mine ::sheepish grin::

Quote:
Oh, and here in Norway we always open our presents on the evening, too.
I usually say it's so that the children can wear out the batteries in their toys in the evening, so that they don't have any reason to get up early in the morning on the 25 and the parents get a nice, quiet morning...


Well, this ain't Norway! Wink

Seriousness aside, I've met people who opened gifts on the 24th. I think I even dated a girl once who's family did that. In my house, we always opened on the 25th, after all apart from celebrating the birth of Jesus, that's what you look forward to, Christmas presents, not Christmas EVE presents! Smile

Tell you something else, in my house, we got up in the morning and got dressed first! Now let's talk about losing some fun on Christmas morning! But that was the rule of the house, I never understood it either -- and if Christmas fell on a Sunday, we went to church first, THEN opened when we got back! Sure, you can argue that keeps Christmas in perspective, but when you're a kid and it's Christmas, well, c'mon Dad, cut us a little slack, anyway.
Quote:

Of course, when I give toys to my nephew and niece, I always add a few extra sets, just to annoy my brother... Twisted Evil


Speaking as a parent, we hate relatives like you Razz Wink

Quote:
Now to finish reading the waaaaay too short chapter...


I did my best, honest! But there's still a lot of work to do and you people have already been waiting over a week too long for this chapter!

Quote:
Edit: Fund another typo:


Good little typo you got there yourself, Anthony Wink

Chris
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racky raccoon
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 7:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Going back to Sharron i think the best person other than Chris that wrote a Sharron part was Styx. I wish he had a longer part for her.... no jokes Wink.

Others have been well not that nice to her thats all i wanted people to like her, i think its because i felt the same was happening to Endora (and you know how i feel about Endora). So there you go my motives Smile

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ChrisFoxx
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 8:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

anthony wrote:
I just don't want to spoil the surprise for everyone else...


GOOD man, Anthony! Smile

Quote:
But that stone was BIG!
I just can't figure out how he could afford it.


Credit Smile

Plus, Zig Zag pays well. Zip back a couple dozen chapters to when Clarence got his first paycheck from ZZ. I think she overpays him, personally, but then, he did save her a lot of embarrassment and saved the payroll Wink

Quote:
Also, I think his mother was rather too 'reasonable' compared to how she has been portrayed before, but that's my opinion.


Well she has to confront the facts, Clarence is an adult and has been for a few years now. Ellen's calling and talking to her was an eye-opener to her, and she's discovering Clarence has been able to stand on his own without her guidance.
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DHLawrence
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 8:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Excellent chapter! Glad to see it all went relatively smoothly for the happy couple! I agree, Sharron did take the blow rather well compared to how she usually acts, but Our Beloved Authors know best.

I wonder how many volunteers there will be to give mouth-to-mouth to Wanda when she finds out Wink
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ChrisFoxx
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 11:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

DHLawrence wrote:
Excellent chapter! Glad to see it all went relatively smoothly for the happy couple! I agree, Sharron did take the blow rather well compared to how she usually acts, but Our Beloved Authors know best.

I wonder how many volunteers there will be to give mouth-to-mouth to Wanda when she finds out Wink


Let's say it'll be interesting Cool
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ChrisFoxx
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 11:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mike Regan wrote:
In Mexico today the 6th is the day to get presents.

Jan 6th is the 12th day of Christmas. The day the Three Kings arrived and gave their presents. The first day is of course Dec. 25th.


This ain't Mexico either! Wink

And don't nobody even mention Russian Christmas! Razz

Can you imagine? Everyone else is opening toys and gifts on December 25th, and you still have to wait until next year to open yours?? That'd have driven me nuts!
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ChrisFoxx
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 11:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mike Regan wrote:
Quote:
That'd have driven me nuts!



Too late.


Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil


TRUE!
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Concolor
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 12:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Large, contented, somewhat teary-eyed siiiiighhh.

Clarence and Cindy are JUST SO SWEEET!!!

I loved it!

:::::


Spoiler warning (not that it hasn't been spoiled a bit by some of the previous posts, but one can't be too careful)



:::::



:::::



:::::


Personally, I was relieved by Sharon's reaction. I never really thought of her as the Psychobitch From Hell, canonically speaking. As was presented, very thoughtfully it seemed to me, she was doing the best she could to raise Clarence under circumstances of duress. That she frequently went overboard is not terribly surprising. I've known a couple of sort of similar situations myself, and she did better than they.

Poor Clarence! I just about bust a gut when he kept fainting. That whole scene was priceless! (Was that bit about Cindy sipping Clarence's water a subtle nod of tribute to Snoopy in that Charlie Brown special where Linus lost his blanket and kept fainting? Or was it just my imagination? That was a ROTFLMAO moment.)

All in all, I thought the characters remained very true to themselves.

I LOVE CLARE AND CINDY!! And you portray them so beautifully.

....................

Which is not to give Our Favorite Couple short shrift. Their quest for a tree came straight out of one of my early memories. Thanks, guys. And I can't wait to see what gift Sabrina wants to open first. Wink

A top-notch effort and a flawless delivery.

"Please, Sir, may I have some more?"

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ChrisFoxx
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 12:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Concolor wrote:
Large, contented, somewhat teary-eyed siiiiighhh.

Clarence and Cindy are JUST SO SWEEET!!!

I loved it!


Thanks, man!!

:::::


Spoiler warning (not that it hasn't been spoiled a bit by some of the previous posts, but one can't be too careful)



:::::



:::::



:::::


Quote:
Personally, I was relieved by Sharon's reaction. I never really thought of her as the Psychobitch From Hell, canonically speaking. As was presented, very thoughtfully it seemed to me, she was doing the best she could to raise Clarence under circumstances of duress. That she frequently went overboard is not terribly surprising. I've known a couple of sort of similar situations myself, and she did better than they.


Sharon really thought she was doing the right thing in the strict way she raised Clarence, she really did! Remember Mr. Carlson in the second pilot of WKRP in Cincinnati ? Sharon was modeled after his mother in that episode. Sharon did what she thought was the right thing, she just didn't know when to stop, and Clarence was already too ... dominated, for lack of a better word, to say different. He's become more self-confident, and he can thank his employment with Zig Zag for that (remember him popping Cindy's bra clasp on Thanksgiving? Smile ), and that helped break some of his programming, certainly in making it easier for him to propose.

And for the record, I've been sitting on this Christmas Eve proposal for MONTHS!! Possibly at least a year.

Quote:
Poor Clarence! I just about bust a gut when he kept fainting. That whole scene was priceless!


Thanks again! I actually had him faint only the once, Racky's responsible for the rest of it! At first I was afraid it was going to be too much, but the way he tweaked it all, it was just perfect Smile

Quote:
(Was that bit about Cindy sipping Clarence's water a subtle nod of tribute to Snoopy in "It's The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown"? Or was it just my imagination? That was a ROTFLMAO moment.)


Actually I can't remember where that came from. All I know is I remember seeing similar scenes, so Snoopy may have had some subconscious influence there, yeah Smile

Quote:
All in all, I thought the characters remained very true to themselves.

I LOVE CLARE AND CINDY!! And you portray them so beautifully.


Thanks a billion, Con! Racky, come out and take your bow.

....................

Quote:
Which is not to give Our Favorite Couple short shrift. Their quest for a tree came straight out of one of my early memories. Thanks, guys.


Sho'nuff! Actually, that's my family every single year Smile
My wife Patty looks for fat and full trees, she's tough to please!

Quote:
And I can't wait to see what gift Sabrina wants to open first. Wink


You mean the beef-flavored -- no wait, that wasn't Sabrina Cool

Quote:
A top-notch effort and a flawless delivery.


I'm overwhelmed Concolor, thank you!!

Quote:
"Please, Sir, may I have some more?"


"MORE???"

Oh what the heck, sure Wink Give us the rest of the week.

2 at the MOST!
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