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should i continue? |
no |
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yes |
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100% |
[ 7 ] |
maybe |
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don't care what you do your story stinks |
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Total Votes : 7 |
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christopherlynxfelter Registered User
Joined: 29 Mar 2007 Posts: 84
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Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 10:08 am Post subject: hi my name is christoperlynxfelter a new writer........ |
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i am as i stated a new writer i am posting the first capter of my story here
if you readit please reveiw and let me know if i should continue,because if i should then i'll asked to get hosted on planet furry,thanks in advance for your help and support. |
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Asalis Registered User
Joined: 08 Oct 2004 Posts: 2020 Location: Fort Worth, Tx
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Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 12:57 pm Post subject: |
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Hello and welcome to the forum. Nice to see another writer join the fold. if you like writing stories then you should visit the Raccoons Bookshelf located further down on the main forum web page. Several of us already have stories posted there. We also share lots of info and insight on stories in the Writers guild forum also located further down on the main page. With that said.
*A giant mech comes crashing through the roof with a shadow clone popping out of the cockpit who winds up disappearing in a poof of smoke*
OK... that wasn't my fault this time. it may have been my clone but it wasn't my fault. _________________ Asalis: (uh*sah*lis)
We, dig, giant robots!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7PjQnw_E0U
I hate the DMV
Last edited by Asalis on Sun Jan 06, 2008 10:37 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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christopherlynxfelter Registered User
Joined: 29 Mar 2007 Posts: 84
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Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 6:07 pm Post subject: thanks i think............ |
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wasn't gonna go for big giant mechs just quite yet,was thinking of keeping the world aliitle closer to my main charecters world for the first few jumps for i throw him to the wolfs so to speak. |
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anthony Site Owner
Joined: 12 Nov 2001 Posts: 1304 Location: Norway
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Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 7:01 pm Post subject: |
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First of all...
Your text editor is set to make files with a fixed line length. This causes the text to look weird if the reader is using a different width to his editor/reader window.
Capitalisation...
First letter of a sentence, capital I whenever the character references himself.
Also, a space after '.' and ','.
Personally, I have problems with concentrating on the material I'm reading when I run into these problems, and I know that it will make others turn away from it, too.
Other typos is 'freind' which should be friend...
'releif' which should be relief.
Both of these should have been spotted by most spell-checkers. Please use one.
Clean it up and you may have the beginning of a story. _________________ "My name's Lion, Anthony Lion"
A fur with a license to purr...
---
Like my Avatar?
Why not surf over to www.micecomics.com and tell Mary what a stellar job she did... |
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Kellan Meig'h Administrator
Joined: 01 Apr 2007 Posts: 2045 Location: Just East of Indianapolis, Indiana
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Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 9:15 pm Post subject: |
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Just to ask, what text editor are you using? M$ Word and OpenOffice will catch spelling and no space petween words. O.O. is freeware, too.
And just to be fair, my works sometimes have glaring errors that I have looked at multiple times and not seen. It helps if you can get some fur/body to proof your work. Even my work is proofed (and it needs it, too).
Welcome to another writer,
Kellan
*gives christopherlynxfelter an Xmas fruitcake and runs* _________________ "Старый боевой конь, Кeллан" |
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Asalis Registered User
Joined: 08 Oct 2004 Posts: 2020 Location: Fort Worth, Tx
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Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 10:00 pm Post subject: Re: thanks i think............ |
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christopherlynxfelter wrote: | wasn't gonna go for big giant mechs just quite yet,was thinking of keeping the world a liitle closer to my main charecters world for the first few jumps for i throw him to the wolfs so to speak. |
Actually I wasn't using the mechs as a reference for your story. Thats sort of my thing on this forum. I"m a huge technology buff and like to collect nice and shiney new gadgets.
if I had the money for it my room would be chock full of nice, shiny, and new technology. And a bunch of old, outdated, and worn technology. like my Commadore 64 and Atari Game console complete with games. Both still work too. and Pac Man on the Atari really sucks. _________________ Asalis: (uh*sah*lis)
We, dig, giant robots!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7PjQnw_E0U
I hate the DMV |
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GriffinX Registered User
Joined: 18 Jun 2007 Posts: 785 Location: SLC Utah
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Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 10:32 pm Post subject: |
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asalis, it is your falt its your mech, its your shadow, it's your falt.
welcome and good evning to you a fellow word enthuesist of the fur and fancy cunundrum we call PF.
good chats to you and many well wishs to come
no no no, kellan, you have to set the fuse first before you run. _________________ to each their own
"a riot is at bottom the language of the unheard." Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
"you can get more with a kind word and a gun than you could with just a kind word." Al Capone
http://www.freewebs.com/griffinxango/ |
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Kellan Meig'h Administrator
Joined: 01 Apr 2007 Posts: 2045 Location: Just East of Indianapolis, Indiana
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Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 10:57 pm Post subject: |
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Darn!
That's what was in the little envelope in the bottom of the box!
*sneaks back up and puts fuse in cake while christopherlynxfelter isn't looking, lights it and runs*
Thanks for the heads-up, GriffinX! I knew I forgot to do something!
Kellan _________________ "Старый боевой конь, Кeллан" |
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Asalis Registered User
Joined: 08 Oct 2004 Posts: 2020 Location: Fort Worth, Tx
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Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 11:10 pm Post subject: |
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*uses a mini fire extinguisher on the fruitcake fuse*
Go easy on the new guy, he jsut got here. You could at least have the decency to wait a week before trying to smear his face in the remains of exploded food. _________________ Asalis: (uh*sah*lis)
We, dig, giant robots!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7PjQnw_E0U
I hate the DMV |
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GriffinX Registered User
Joined: 18 Jun 2007 Posts: 785 Location: SLC Utah
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Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 11:19 pm Post subject: |
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oh. and where would the fun be in that! _________________ to each their own
"a riot is at bottom the language of the unheard." Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
"you can get more with a kind word and a gun than you could with just a kind word." Al Capone
http://www.freewebs.com/griffinxango/ |
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Kellan Meig'h Administrator
Joined: 01 Apr 2007 Posts: 2045 Location: Just East of Indianapolis, Indiana
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Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 11:41 pm Post subject: |
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Asalis wrote: | *uses a mini fire extinguisher on the fruitcake fuse*
Go easy on the new guy, he jsut got here. You could at least have the decency to wait a week before trying to smear his face in the remains of exploded food. |
Kellan _________________ "Старый боевой конь, Кeллан" |
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Onic Registered User
Joined: 17 Dec 2007 Posts: 95 Location: Virginia
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Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 11:58 pm Post subject: |
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But there's soooooo much leftover fruitcake. How else are we going to get rid of it all?
Salutations to a new member and fellow fictionist. The more writers, the more to read, the less time to be bored... _________________ I'm guessing your guess is as good as mine... |
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Howellfan Registered User
Joined: 15 Dec 2007 Posts: 188
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Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 2:34 am Post subject: |
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Hey, welcome to the club! *shakes*
I'll give it a look. Taking my first stab at writing myself;check out what I have of my first story so far if you want in the feedback forum.(Just click on the subject started by 'Howellfan'. Also have part of it posted in the Writer's Guild, but updates to it there have really slipped behind. If ya like what you read, feel free to leave a comment. )
*Scampers off to read christopherlynxfelter's(try saying
that name five times fast!)story.* |
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GriffinX Registered User
Joined: 18 Jun 2007 Posts: 785 Location: SLC Utah
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Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 5:53 am Post subject: |
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that did strike me as a peculiarity your name is extensively long is there a reason or you just wanted to drive the ones that must put your full name in to their posts crazy? _________________ to each their own
"a riot is at bottom the language of the unheard." Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
"you can get more with a kind word and a gun than you could with just a kind word." Al Capone
http://www.freewebs.com/griffinxango/ |
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christopherlynxfelter Registered User
Joined: 29 Mar 2007 Posts: 84
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Posted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 7:58 pm Post subject: |
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Well my names long because it's descriptive, Christopher is my name, Lynxfelter is my furryname.
And don't worry about fruitcake i like fruitcake so pls,pls don't blow it up.
As for technology i am a closet techie myself and have had complaints from my housemates about leaving half taken apart machines lying around. |
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