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hi my name is christoperlynxfelter a new writer........
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should i continue?
no
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
yes
100%
 100%  [ 7 ]
maybe
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
don't care what you do your story stinks
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Total Votes : 7

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christopherlynxfelter
Registered User


Joined: 29 Mar 2007
Posts: 84

PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 10:08 am    Post subject: hi my name is christoperlynxfelter a new writer........ Reply with quote

i am as i stated a new writer i am posting the first capter of my story here
if you readit please reveiw and let me know if i should continue,because if i should then i'll asked to get hosted on planet furry,thanks in advance for your help and support.
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Asalis
Registered User


Joined: 08 Oct 2004
Posts: 2020
Location: Fort Worth, Tx

PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 12:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hello and welcome to the forum. Nice to see another writer join the fold. if you like writing stories then you should visit the Raccoons Bookshelf located further down on the main forum web page. Several of us already have stories posted there. We also share lots of info and insight on stories in the Writers guild forum also located further down on the main page. With that said.

*A giant mech comes crashing through the roof with a shadow clone popping out of the cockpit who winds up disappearing in a poof of smoke*

OK... that wasn't my fault this time. it may have been my clone but it wasn't my fault.

_________________
Asalis: (uh*sah*lis)

We, dig, giant robots!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7PjQnw_E0U

I hate the DMV


Last edited by Asalis on Sun Jan 06, 2008 10:37 pm; edited 1 time in total
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christopherlynxfelter
Registered User


Joined: 29 Mar 2007
Posts: 84

PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 6:07 pm    Post subject: thanks i think............ Reply with quote

wasn't gonna go for big giant mechs just quite yet,was thinking of keeping the world aliitle closer to my main charecters world for the first few jumps for i throw him to the wolfs so to speak.
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anthony
Site Owner
Site Owner


Joined: 12 Nov 2001
Posts: 1304
Location: Norway

PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 7:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

First of all...

Your text editor is set to make files with a fixed line length. This causes the text to look weird if the reader is using a different width to his editor/reader window.

Capitalisation...
First letter of a sentence, capital I whenever the character references himself.
Also, a space after '.' and ','.

Personally, I have problems with concentrating on the material I'm reading when I run into these problems, and I know that it will make others turn away from it, too.

Other typos is 'freind' which should be friend...
'releif' which should be relief.
Both of these should have been spotted by most spell-checkers. Please use one.

Clean it up and you may have the beginning of a story.

_________________
"My name's Lion, Anthony Lion"
A fur with a license to purr...
---
Like my Avatar?
Why not surf over to www.micecomics.com and tell Mary what a stellar job she did...
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Kellan Meig'h
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Joined: 01 Apr 2007
Posts: 1847
Location: Just East of Indianapolis, Indiana

PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 9:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just to ask, what text editor are you using? M$ Word and OpenOffice will catch spelling and no space petween words. O.O. is freeware, too.

And just to be fair, my works sometimes have glaring errors that I have looked at multiple times and not seen. It helps if you can get some fur/body to proof your work. Even my work is proofed (and it needs it, too).

Welcome to another writer,

Kellan

*gives christopherlynxfelter an Xmas fruitcake and runs*

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"Старый боевой конь, Кeллан"
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Asalis
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Joined: 08 Oct 2004
Posts: 2020
Location: Fort Worth, Tx

PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 10:00 pm    Post subject: Re: thanks i think............ Reply with quote

christopherlynxfelter wrote:
wasn't gonna go for big giant mechs just quite yet,was thinking of keeping the world a liitle closer to my main charecters world for the first few jumps for i throw him to the wolfs so to speak.


Actually I wasn't using the mechs as a reference for your story. Thats sort of my thing on this forum. I"m a huge technology buff and like to collect nice and shiney new gadgets. Mr. Green

if I had the money for it my room would be chock full of nice, shiny, and new technology. And a bunch of old, outdated, and worn technology. like my Commadore 64 and Atari Game console complete with games. Both still work too. and Pac Man on the Atari really sucks.

_________________
Asalis: (uh*sah*lis)

We, dig, giant robots!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7PjQnw_E0U

I hate the DMV
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GriffinX
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Joined: 18 Jun 2007
Posts: 785
Location: SLC Utah

PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 10:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

asalis, it is your falt its your mech, its your shadow, it's your falt.

welcome and good evning to you a fellow word enthuesist of the fur and fancy cunundrum we call PF.

good chats to you and many well wishs to come

no no no, kellan, you have to set the fuse first before you run.

_________________
to each their own
"a riot is at bottom the language of the unheard." Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
"you can get more with a kind word and a gun than you could with just a kind word." Al Capone
http://www.freewebs.com/griffinxango/
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Kellan Meig'h
Administrator


Joined: 01 Apr 2007
Posts: 1847
Location: Just East of Indianapolis, Indiana

PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 10:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Darn!

That's what was in the little envelope in the bottom of the box!

*sneaks back up and puts fuse in cake while christopherlynxfelter isn't looking, lights it and runs*

Thanks for the heads-up, GriffinX! I knew I forgot to do something!

Kellan

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"Старый боевой конь, Кeллан"
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Asalis
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Joined: 08 Oct 2004
Posts: 2020
Location: Fort Worth, Tx

PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 11:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

*uses a mini fire extinguisher on the fruitcake fuse*

Go easy on the new guy, he jsut got here. You could at least have the decency to wait a week before trying to smear his face in the remains of exploded food.

_________________
Asalis: (uh*sah*lis)

We, dig, giant robots!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7PjQnw_E0U

I hate the DMV
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GriffinX
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Joined: 18 Jun 2007
Posts: 785
Location: SLC Utah

PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 11:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

oh. and where would the fun be in that!
_________________
to each their own
"a riot is at bottom the language of the unheard." Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
"you can get more with a kind word and a gun than you could with just a kind word." Al Capone
http://www.freewebs.com/griffinxango/
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Kellan Meig'h
Administrator


Joined: 01 Apr 2007
Posts: 1847
Location: Just East of Indianapolis, Indiana

PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 11:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Asalis wrote:
*uses a mini fire extinguisher on the fruitcake fuse*

Go easy on the new guy, he jsut got here. You could at least have the decency to wait a week before trying to smear his face in the remains of exploded food.


Sad

Kellan

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"Старый боевой конь, Кeллан"
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Onic
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Joined: 17 Dec 2007
Posts: 95
Location: Virginia

PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 11:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

But there's soooooo much leftover fruitcake. How else are we going to get rid of it all?

Salutations to a new member and fellow fictionist. The more writers, the more to read, the less time to be bored...

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I'm guessing your guess is as good as mine...
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Howellfan
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Joined: 15 Dec 2007
Posts: 188

PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 2:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey, welcome to the club! *shakes*

I'll give it a look. Taking my first stab at writing myself;check out what I have of my first story so far if you want in the feedback forum.(Just click on the subject started by 'Howellfan'. Also have part of it posted in the Writer's Guild, but updates to it there have really slipped behind. If ya like what you read, feel free to leave a comment. Smile)

*Scampers off to read christopherlynxfelter's(try saying

that name five times fast!)story.*
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GriffinX
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Joined: 18 Jun 2007
Posts: 785
Location: SLC Utah

PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 5:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

that did strike me as a peculiarity your name is extensively long is there a reason or you just wanted to drive the ones that must put your full name in to their posts crazy?
_________________
to each their own
"a riot is at bottom the language of the unheard." Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
"you can get more with a kind word and a gun than you could with just a kind word." Al Capone
http://www.freewebs.com/griffinxango/
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christopherlynxfelter
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Joined: 29 Mar 2007
Posts: 84

PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 7:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well my names long because it's descriptive, Christopher is my name, Lynxfelter is my furryname.

And don't worry about fruitcake i like fruitcake so pls,pls don't blow it up.

As for technology i am a closet techie myself and have had complaints from my housemates about leaving half taken apart machines lying around.
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