Planetfurry BBS

[Velvet Karuda Leopard]

Hey there. I know I have been gone a while. College, depression, and loneliness do that to you. I have this old old story idea that I believe is just too complex and strung out to ever work as its own story. I half abandoned it thinking I would never get it to work.

So I left it for aseveral years. I went through an old forum and found the only surviving excerpt from it. I am thinking of reviving at least this character's story into its very own separate story.

Please keep in mind the leopard has terrible spelling and may not be that great when it comes to story telling right now. This is an old clip.

The sights and sounds of the world are dull and weak as a dim light breaks the darkness of the shadows on the cieling. A slim beam of bright sunshine sifts through the light curtain over the door of the small hut and lands upon the face of the sleeping beast. The single small room of the thatch building was dim and hot from the summer day after the storm. A strong odor of male musk and sweat lingered in the stale air of the room. Through the delicate beam of light flow small clouds of thin dust still settling from the air. An eerie creak lifted from the steele joins of the small cot that held the large beast. A small puddle of sweat and blood lay under it.

The beast was a liger, large and muscular. His fur is a beautiful blend of black and white. It is pitch black with ghostly faint white stripes snaking and curving over his whole body. Dampened and soaked with sweat, his fur glistened in the small rays of light that made it into the hut's dark interior. He lay there motionless on the bed for quite some time, enough for the dust to sttle and the heat of the day to back off into the evening. Through the day, the beams of gold traced the ligers magnificent body lines and curves. They traveled over his dark complection from his feet, dangling over the cot's end, to the tips of his laid back ears. The light seemed to amplify the definition of the liger's fur and toned muscles. It play over his legs and glided over his groin and belly, moving slowly and smoothly. It finally came over his abs and bestowed the darkness with the image of the bandages that wrapped his body tight. The strips of cloth and cotton covered the gaping wound that he had recieved by the paws of the lion earlier. A light trickle of blood falls to the floor to join the small puddle under him. His tail lay limp over the side of the cot, beside his out stretched arm that hung over as if to look like it was reaching sleepily for something.

The silence of the room was broken by a deep sigh that escaped the heavy breathing muzzle of the liger. He brought his arm up to meet his tilted, aching head. He rubbed his forehead firmly as he opened his sleep covered, bloodshot eyes. They were a golden yellow color, dotted with red from irritation, and wandered over the dim lit walls and floor of the hut, trying feverishly to identify where he was. A look of great pain shot over the liger's black face as he tried to move. The pain shot through his chest from the large wound in his abdomen. The pain subsided and his face now bore a blank expression as he listened to the sounds of laughter and conversation from outside the hut. His attention, now coping with the pain and blocking out the noise, focused on trying to remember what had happened to him to bring him to this situation. He tried hard to look back into the events of the last night, but to no avail. His face loked puzzled as he noticed that even his name and memories seemed to never have been. He let out another sigh, this time long and drawn out. Deciding not to just lay there, the liger focused his attention on the noises outside. His tail jerked from the pain that waved through his whole body as he tried to lift his head to see the curtain covering the doorway of the hut. His head drops back to the firm pillow on the cot and he lets out another sigh of pain. He once more tries to figure out where this place might be. His mind is void and silent. His body sends waves of pain and tingling all over as he lets out a long deep murr.

The need for sleep seems to overpower the liger's want for realization and he soon starts to doze off. Just when the liger closes his golden eyes for the last time, he feels a small hand fall upon his shoulder. It presses gently on him and seems to be feeling the softness of his fur. A look of great worry comes over his face as he traces the path of the hand up to the face of a small child. He smiled and rubbed the liger's fur as if he was a pet. The liger looked at him and opened his mouth, trying to speak. In a raspy, low voice, he said to the child, "Who....are you?". He sighed once again and dropped his head to the pillow. He looked up at the boy and breathed hard. The boy looked down at the beast and just smiled. The boy patts the anthro's shoulder and turns towards the doorway. The child runs outside yelling "Beorollia naruka!" over and over.

Fear creaps into the liger's mind as the child disapears through the curtain. He tries to lift himself up on his side to get off the bed, but he is stopped by the great pain of his wound. He cries out loudly as the pain nearly parralizes him and lands harshly back on the bed, nearly snapping it in two. He is close to blindness from the pain as he drifts off once more into sleepiness. The room gets fuzzy and dark as he tries hard to keep his eyes open. He can see the light from outside flow into the room as the curtain is removed. A tall silhouette fills the doorway and walks up to him.



So tell me what you think. Don't mind clobbering me with critisms either. I need them.

[Nadan]

[Velvet Karuda Leopard]

That's just it. That is the only part I have right now. It was originally just part of a much much much larger story idea. Now it is only an orphaned character with no story to fit into. I have no plot idea right now. I am thinking on it.

The original idea was that this liger was once human. Some bad guy learns that his enemy, the lion reffered to in the excerpt above, had a friend in his past that was very mad at him. The old friend, the human to become the liger, thinks that the human to become the lion deliberately cheated him out of being picked for this special forces soldier organization. The future liger has a vendetta against him, so the bad guy transforms him into a massive black liger to attack and kill the lion. The lion ends up fighting and, he believes, killing him. The lion shoots a grapling hook right throught he liger's gut to escape falling over a cliff. The lion clings to the cliff, but the liger falls to what is believed his death. Far off in the progression of the story, the liger is seen again.

After the fall, the liger is found by this small human tribe. They nurse him to health. The liger has total and irriversable amnesia. He becomes a good guy that protects the tribe he is with. He eventually becomes friends with the main good guys of the story, well after the lion is dead.

I know it sounds weak and loose as a plot, but I never got around to making a true story with it all. I was thinking of just taking this character and using this scene as a growth point for another story, as opposed to trying to mend the old one, which would become probably seven or eight different parts on it's own.

[Nadan]

It's an interesting idea. It might even be nice for this liger character to have to find out about himself the hard way. I did like that the villagers seem to speek a different language.

[Velvet Karuda Leopard]

Hmm. Now that you mention it, I probably could simlpy condense the old story idea to focus around the liger, instead of trying to make this gawdly huge epic that wouldn't work out to well.

Hmm. Okee. Here it goes.

Liger guy, as his human self, and the lion guy, as his human self, separate from friendship over some stupid little fight. The lion guy, no transformed into the lion, is a soldier many years from the fight. He has nearly forgotten the liger guy. Finally this bad guy, a rogue special forces guy leading his own little plattoon of cybernetically enhanced soldiers, not too enhanced though, learns of the past relationship of the lion and liger. To try and gain an egde over the lion guy, he hires the liger guy, he is still in his human state, to hunt down and kill his rival. The main bad guy transforms the guy into the black liger, just the same as others transformed the good guys into furries. The liger find the lion in a half built new city and they fight. The lion belives he had killed the liger, he realized who it was during the fight. Then, the good guys go about their normal routine while the liger is found by the tribal people. The liger ends up staying with them untill the good guys, for some reason, make their way into the wilderness and meet up with the liger and the tribe. The good guys and the liger end up joining eachother after they stay with the tribe for a while and learning that the liger is not the same as before. They join up and decide to finally take out the bad guys for good.

I know that is more or les sloppily slung together, but I hope you can see some sort of plot line from it. I left out tons of details about "the good guys", "the main bad guy", "the bad guys", "the lion", and "the liger", but I am working on that right now.

Oh yeah. The reason the tribespeople speak a different language is this world is a bit i the future after two moe massive world wars, the fourth of which went nuclear. Many peoples disappeared from the earth and what was left formed groups of civilizations. Some formed tribes like of primative times, like our villagers here. They are like a river tribe of south america. I think that will give you a picture of what they are like. Ah yes, "Beorollia naruka!", what the child was yelling as he ran out of the hut, means "The cloud of storms is awake.". The child keeps calling the black liger A Cloud of Storms because he is colored like a stormy black cloud.

Thanks for reading.