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Shadows in the Snow. My first story.
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Syrius
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 11:52 pm    Post subject: Shadows In The Snow. Chapter Five Reply with quote

Chapter Five.

It's late in the night, the weak rays of the sun faded away a long time ago over the big semi-sphere on top of the city, but the artificial light keeps the nocturnal pleasure seekers safe from the scum that would otherwise fuse with the shadows, and take their precious credits... poor souls without a purpose, all of them.

My room is dark. Just how I like it. That way I cannot see the clock and count how much sleep time I have lost. I was supposed to be tired and fall asleep quickly, but my mind doesn't want to turn itself off. My muscles begin to burn inside from tiredness.

I keep on thinking of the snow, the cold winds that greet me every time I work outside: Their spectral howling may be an omen of our grim future. But then there's another howling, primal and ancient like time itself. Faint at first, hard to distinguish and dissolving quick. It will be followed by another coming from an unknown location; echoed by a third before it's gone completely. And then the symphony starts.

Their number cannot be determined, but their song seems to be somewhat synchronized to... to... something. Something We (Those-who-dwell-in-the-metallic-tombs) seem to have lost connection with many cycles ago.

I have seen them in the distance, shadows that appear to observe us, to study us for a moment and then continue their own business. Maybe they shake their heads and mutter in their own language a question about us, the other shadows.

But they are not shadows actually. Neither are we. They move with grace. We are clumsy. They can withstand the cold. We would freeze without our colored fake skins.

They cooperate. We had been killing our own brothers and sisters during who-knows-how-long. They knew something we ignored.

Yet we were similar: We could care and love. We could see into each other's eyes and peek directly into our souls. We took care of our little ones and turned against those who dared hurt them. We enjoyed the company of our own kind. Well, unlike myself, most of us did.

And she also kept away from their own, even though she was among them. Why? What had happened that made her behave like that? Why do I behave like this?

Those questions don't have an answer now.

Now that I finally can fall asleep, I want to stay awake and think of everything I saw today. I must try to think clearly. What crossed my mind a few minutes ago was starting to get vague and unclear. I'm not like that.

Elly.

Short, clear and concise. Feminine. And cute. But, the name of a human girl given to a wild wolf? Why not "Explorer", or "Sabre"?

Maybe it was because of her unique behavior: Greeting a human respectfully, being grateful and considerate. Maybe she gained the trust of somebody in the research team and allowed herself to be scratched behind the ears or learned quickly some game they developed to test her intelligence. Those were, however, the attributes of a common domestic dog, and she was more than that. She walked with pride, she knew herself to be wild and different. Fearless, yet noble. Strong but gentle. And staying away from the other wolves. Did she consider herself special?

I cannot remember her eyes. I never got to see them, actually. That happened yesterday; today I'll go and take a closer look at her. I'm starting to like her. I am sure she was chosen to be in the habitat since she tolerated the presence of people. She might even like our company.

What is this that I feel now? This emotion when I think of seeing her again? Hhhmm, must be the anticipation of getting to know her some more. Now that would be fun! Racing against her, jumping over those narrow but deep depressions found sometimes in the solid caps of ice outside. Or going to hunt together, we could find game outside. The pursuit, the closing in, the first contact and later bringing the prey down! The fruit of a day of labor being enjoyed. Yes, down with vegetarianism! Life and death chasing each other in their eternal dance and..!

And now I am starting to get delusional. Must get ready for work tomorrow. Afterwards it's off to the exhibit again, I could become friends with Elly. That would be a nice experience. I will thank Greco for the free pass he got me. Maybe he is right, maybe the deposit will last long enough for the other energy projects to be completed. Maybe the "mother lode" has just bought us some more time.

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 05, 2006 12:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Chapter two has been edited to correct the mistakes previously pointed out. New Chapter posted. Sorry I've been quiet. My ears are hurting. Ouch. Comments, please?
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 05, 2006 12:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm up to date and ready for more whenever you tur it up. For now keep it up its all good by me.
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 05, 2006 2:31 pm    Post subject: Re: Shadows in the Snow, Chapter 3. Reply with quote

Chapter 3 Notes

Hi Syrius. I'm sorry that I've fallen behind in this story. Between writing, critiquing stories on Critique Circle, and just wasting time on Madden '07, I have been so busy. (I seriously need to hide that game from myself.)

I liked chapter 3, which I have just read. It seemed kind of short, but it really made a few thing clear. It seems as though the main character, and perhaps the general populace, have no idea what's going on. Was this world terraformed and then the people forgot? Or was the world once different but suffered a catastrophe that ruined the environment. It's not entirely clear, and I don't think it should be -- not yet. I'd say that they are terraformers who lost their connection to their home world, but I could be wrong. One thing did confuse me.

Syrius wrote:
The two horns that projected towards the sides of their heads and bent ninety degrees downwards and again to the front seemed like two formidable weapons to fend off any aggressor,

Are these ram-like horns? I was trying to figure out what kind of horns project 'toward' the sides of the head and not away from.

Also, I have to say that the chapter was kind of 'blah' as far as plot. It's seems to be setting us up for something, but I don't really see much of anything actually happening here.

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 05, 2006 2:53 pm    Post subject: Re: Shadows in the Snow, Chapter Four. Reply with quote

Syrius wrote:
Chapter Four.


Now this was a nice chapter. I really have no words to say beyond to say that I enjoied it... and one other question:

Is there a particular reason chapters 3 and 4 are not put together as one chapter. It just seemed that these two chapters fit so well together, and that becaue chapter 3 came across to me as uneventful, that together with chapter 4 it would all work out. Just a thought.

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 05, 2006 4:01 pm    Post subject: Re: Shadows In The Snow. Chapter Five Reply with quote

Syrius wrote:
Chapter Five.


Thank you for this fifth installment. I think that one of it's strong points is that it fits well with the Malcom's introverted nature. The puzzle pieces start to fall into place now. Malcom, who never really was all that interested in interacting with others and who had a negative world view (possibly justifiably) has zeroed in on Elly. She and Malcom are the same, yet different, and he knows it. I think that the obsession (if it can be called that) goes over well and provides a good motiviation or impitus for future events. All in all, I'd say that this is a nice way of tieing together bits and pieces we read before in preperation for something bigger.

But I had a few questions.

The first big question I had was, why the italics? It made me think that perhaps the whole thing was a dream sequence, or all of it was internal dialogue, but he was awake still and was not speaking to himself in the first person.

The second general question has to do with verbe tense. The story seems to go back and forth between the present and past tense a lot. Either one would be fine. In fact, I like the idea of this story being written in the present tense (here and now,) but entire sections of the story have been written in past tense (between chapters 1 and 5.)


Quote:
It's late in the night, the weak rays of the sun faded away a long time ago over the big semi-sphere on top of the city,

Is the dome above the city not hemispherical? Interesting. I wonder if it is a series of bubbles, or if the ground beneath the dome is not level so that it is more or less than a hemisphere.

Quote:
And she also kept away from their own, even though she was among them. Why? (That question doesn't have an answer now.) What had happened that made her behave like that? (Why do I behave like this?).

I wonder about the reason for these parentheses. It sets those statements off as being of particular importance. Coming right after those questions, it makes it seem that the parenthetical information is actually more important than the questions that precede them. I was pondering the question with the character, and then the parentheses answered the questions for me, so I didn't have to be in the character's mind anymore. It felt like the author is telling me these two things and not Malcom.

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 05, 2006 10:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

OMG. Your questions only fuel my interest in writing more, guys. Smile Thanks a lot, they're golden. And now for the answers.

Nadan wrote:
Chapter 3 Notes


Are these ram-like horns? I was trying to figure out what kind of horns project 'toward' the sides of the head and not away from.

Also, I have to say that the chapter was kind of 'blah' as far as plot. It's seems to be setting us up for something, but I don't really see much of anything actually happening here.


The horns are bull-like in my mind. You've seen bulls whose horns project horizontally to the sides, then curve up, right? These curve down, then forward, like ram's horns do. But that's it; they don't form the spiral that rams' have. Blame my sleepiness for writing "towards" instead of "to". Whoops.

Yes, this chapter is a prelude to the next part of Malcolm's visit. I also wrote it really quick before going out for lunch, so I decided to end it there and call it a chapter. I wanted to keep it separate from the the next chapter to build a bit of expectation. (But yeah, it sounds blah.)

Nadan wrote:

Thank you for this fifth installment. I think that one of it's strong points is that it fits well with the Malcom's introverted nature. The puzzle pieces start to fall into place now. Malcom, who never really was all that interested in interacting with others and who had a negative world view (possibly justifiably) has zeroed in on Elly. She and Malcom are the same, yet different, and he knows it. I think that the obsession (if it can be called that) goes over well and provides a good motiviation or impitus for future events. All in all, I'd say that this is a nice way of tieing together bits and pieces we read before in preperation for something bigger.


You got it EXACTLY, 100% the way I intended it. I love you. Very Happy


Nadan wrote:
The first big question I had was, why the italics? It made me think that perhaps the whole thing was a dream sequence, or all of it was internal dialogue, but he was awake still and was not speaking to himself in the first person.

The second general question has to do with verbe tense. The story seems to go back and forth between the present and past tense a lot.



The italics are used exclusively for Malcolm's inner thoughts. They speak in present tense because we are offered a listen of what Malc was thinking at that moment. As if zooming in into his mind. Kind of David Stern narrating in the Wonder Years, but in his present, rather than ours. Wink

Nadan wrote:
Syrius wrote:
And she also kept away from their own, even though she was among them. Why? (That question doesn't have an answer now.) What had happened that made her behave like that? (Why do I behave like this?).

I wonder about the reason for these parentheses. It sets those statements off as being of particular importance. Coming right after those questions, it makes it seem that the parenthetical information is actually more important than the questions that precede them. I was pondering the question with the character, and then the parentheses answered the questions for me, so I didn't have to be in the character's mind anymore. It felt like the author is telling me these two things and not Malcom.


Hmm. Now you got me. Malcolm's tired, and he's answering his own questions, or more like another part of his mind is answering in those parenthesis. (It has happened to me. As if my subconscious gave me an answer or an idea I couldn't conjure with my conscious mind.) The problem is I don't know how else to present it without breaking the illusion of an inner dialogue. Hmm.. I'll try one or two things. Thanks for the insight.

Nadan wrote:
I liked chapter 3, which I have just read. It seemed kind of short, but it really made a few thing clear. It seems as though the main character, and perhaps the general populace, have no idea what's going on. Was this world terraformed and then the people forgot? Or was the world once different but suffered a catastrophe that ruined the environment. It's not entirely clear, and I don't think it should be -- not yet. I'd say that they are terraformers who lost their connection to their home world, but I could be wrong.



I wanted to leave this for the last. I could tell you what happened, but that would "kill" part of the foreign-ness of Eurys. No, it's not future Earth all right. It's another planet. Like you said, it's better left unsaid for now. I don't want to put emphasis on it because it's not vital to the plot I have in mind.

Thanks so much for your comments. Anyone else who's reading, please, feel free to chime in.

Before I forget, IIRC a semi-sphere= a hemisphere. It's one giant crystal and alloy dome covering the city, but like you mention, the city is not level with the ground. Put a dome on FF 7's Midgar, mix in Evangelion's underground Geo Front and there you have it. Or if you want, imagine a city set in the bottom and the walls of a relatively small canyon, with a dome on top. That's some of the stuff I want to leave to the reader's imagination, to avoid this turning into Star-Trek.

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 2:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Syrius wrote:
The italics are used exclusively for Malcolm's inner thoughts. They speak in present tense because we are offered a listen of what Malc was thinking at that moment.


Okay, now I understand why it was done. It still doesn't work for me, but other readers may disagree. I tried to think if there was another way to get Malcom's thoughts down. He has no confidant that has been introduced that I could see him saying all this too. He might be the type to keep a journal and these thoughts might work well directed there, but you know your character much better than I. He doesn't seem the type to talk to himself, and that would be too much for him to say to himself anyway.

The reason it bothers me is not because showing us a character's thoughts in this way doesn't work. It can. It's just generally a weaker method than showing us and letting us figure it out ourselves. It doesn't have the power of having us readers discover; naration in the place of description.

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 19, 2006 1:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

New chapter posted, previous chapters edited and corrected. Copying and pasted from an existing draft. Enjoy and criticize, but not too brutally, ok?
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 19, 2006 1:33 am    Post subject: Shadows In The Snow. Chapter 6. Reply with quote

Chapter Six


>... The other two victims were discovered deep inside the tunnel, about twenty meters away from the corpse lying down at the entrance...

-Huh?-

>... trail of blood seems to indicate the man was able to walk outside, but he couldn't make it past that point...


-Ah... what time is it now?-

The information channel had been showing the coverage of a triple manslaughter for about 25 minutes, but I was fast asleep when the receptor had turned itself on. It seemed I kept on thinking for too long the night before.

-7:39!? Greco is waiting for me! Damn!-

>Shower prepared at preferred setting. You may enter now.


Great. The day before had been excellent, saw a lot of interesting things, and enjoyed myself like never before. Now I was late for work already and very hungry. My tool belt was nowhere to be found and my clean work clothes had not been delivered yet. I had to use the ones from two days before. They made me feel uncomfortable and filthy even though they weren't stained or bad-smelling.

After locking the small apartment that was my residence, and activating the security system, I raced towards one of the public elevators leading to the upper levels; only to find a crowd that would slow down the ascent with their weight.

-How long is it going to take for that junk to come down? We have been waiting for more than 15 minutes!-

-Stupid administration...-

No other choice but having to pay for the speedy trip upwards offered by one of the privately owned lifts located a few streets from there. Twelve credits was the price for my laziness.

-Top level, max speed. Please hurry.-

-No problem, sir.-

Since I almost never rode the lift at that time of day, the view of the city was different from other times: bustling with transports, people running back and forth. Almost anything imaginable was being sold, bought or traded. Cleaning workers blew off the dust and debris from the sidewalks with their powerful machines. Some important-looking people could be seen discussing with their business partners through the windows of the buildings hanging from the walls. The sunlight coming from above did not warm the city a lot, but it sure added a glow to everything it touched.

After a while, I got to the garage we rented for storage of our equipment and transport; there, I found Greco and two police investigators talking with him. All three of them had worried expressions.

-What happened? Was there a theft?-

-Everything is okay here, son.- Greco answered. -The officers are only looking for information about the three deaths in the tunnel.-

-I heard about that in the news a while ago. But how can we possibly be of help in that case?

The other policeman replied. -The bodies belong to workers of the Vectoris Corporation, and we cannot discard the idea of somebody killing them over the contract and the commission. Including people from another company.-

-We didn't kill those guys.-

-Nobody is saying that, Malcolm. It's about if we know of somebody in our company who may had a reason for doing it.-

The questions came in a barrage: what were we doing at the time of the killings, if we had any previous contact with the victims; had we ever worked for the Vectoris Corporation, and so on. The frustration on the investigators' faces was becoming more and more evident with each of our negative answers. They got into their vehicle, clearly bothered by the fruitless search, and left after thanking us for our time.

-Those jerks. I wish they'd go and pestered somebody else.-

-There you go again.- Greco shook his head. -Leave them alone. They're only doing their job.-

-Yeah, but what about when all of our stuff was stolen from the other warehouse? Nobody checked the watchman, and I'm still sure he had something to do with it.-

-This is a cold-blooded murder and it's more important than a simple hardware theft. I think it was one of those maniacs who do it just for fun. Bet the sentence for that guy will be death, if they ever catch him.-

I started loading the spare drill bits on the back of our transport, anxious to verify the saturation level of the deposit. -I can understand they didn't find hairs or fingerprints, but no tracks on the floor of the tunnel? This maniac must be a professional.

-Or some kind of ghost. "Ooooohhh...."-

-Ha, ha. I remember he stories of the first prospectors and their lost ore... trapped forever inside of a collapsed mine. It's a good thing we now use this equipment.-

-Yep, no risk of being buried with all of that mineral. We get it out, the Company sells it, and we get rich.- He paused for a bit and looked into the empty air. -I wish Selene was here to see it. I made so many promises to her.-

I didn't know what to say in that moment. I changed the subject to the matter at hand.

-Let's go. Before one of those undead prospectors claims the deposit as his.-

We crossed the frozen plains safely in our transport; the paths were barely visible through the blanket of snow, but our instruments guided us to the field that would make us rich. I was glad Greco's hard work had paid off after the years. If he hadn't taken that chance with me back then...

No. This was the beginning of the good times. Better think of something nice...

-Greco.-

-Yes?-

-Thank you for the pass. I really enjoyed the exhibit yesterday.-

-I thought you'd never tell me about it. What did you see there?-

-Colors. Lots of them. And sabercats and wolves, very closely. They're so... impressive at that distance. Never imagined I could get near them like that.-

-Sophie told me she went there with her class. I thought you'd like to go too and relax on your day off after what she told me about the animals. She loves to study them. And also says we could learn many things from them.- He rolled his eyes up and shook his head while smiling briefly.

-That's similar to what the caretaker said when she showed me the wolf habitat.-

-So you met a girl there, huh?-

-A girl? No.- I chuckled. -Martell is a mature woman. About 45, I'd say. More of your type.-

Suddenly the picture of Elly in reverence appeared in my mind. I hoped we finished our work early that day so I could go back to the exhibit and see her. She was an interesting wolf.

-By the way, how did you get the pass?-

-The school sent us three in recognizement of Sophie's grades: one for her, one for me and the other for Selene. Seems like they still don't know.-

-Oh...-

-Don't worry about it. I see going there was good for you.-

-It was fun. Thanks again.-

A wind stronger and colder than usual was blowing that day at field 47-C; but we ignored it. Precising the saturation degree of our discovery was more important than any superstition. Two hours and a half later we were shouting and laughing at the top of our lungs, when the analyzers confirmed the good news:

-Yee-haa! I told you, son! The mother lode!

-Ha! We're rich! We're rich!-

-Selene! I did it! I promised you I'd take good care of our daughter! Now she'll always have everything she needs! Always! Ha!- Greco was facing at the sky, holding tightly in his hand the locket with his wife's picture. He had his eyes closed, but no tears were running down his face. (I felt uncomfortable in that kind of situations.)

-So now what, partner?- I asked, unsure of what was to happen next.

-We start our own business. No more working for somebody else. And you better start looking for a bride. Life is too short to spend it alone. Believe me.-

>Incoming communicate from Quantica & Co. Urgent.

We both turned to the transceiver inside of our vehicle. As Greco read the message in silence, I started to get a bad feeling.

-Damn... damn it!-

-Let me see.-

The Company was suspending all activity from newly discovered sites. Since the attacks of the "Driller Killer", as it was now being called, had ocurred in open drilling locations like ours, it was in the interest of our bosses to ensure our safety and well being. All employees and contractors were to withdraw and await further instructions... We could be sure there would be work for us at other facilities, and something about cooperation with the authorities and some other nonsense regarding half pay that day ended the message.

Whatever.

-Damn rotten luck! Damn those bastards!-

-... -

-Now we don't know when our certification will arrive! And without certification there will be no extraction and no money! Those idiots, they think we come here everyday just to have fun! They don't know what it is to bust your back so you can have something to eat tomorrow... the morons!-


Since the killer was apparently more of a ghost than a real person, the situation could last indefinitely. Our claim had been filed, but until one of the officers in the Company had stamped the approval on it, no mobilization of extraction hardware would occur and we wouldn't get our part. Greco's rage was understandable: many times we had worked hard to find ore deposits which, in the end, weren't rich enough to justify their exploitation, and seeing this huge site's claim slip so easily from our hands was a true low blow.

-Ah! -

-... -

-It's not fair, Malcolm.-

-I know. Feels like we have wasted our time.-

-Damn. And they're screwing others as well. How are we all going to get by only with half pay?- This time his voice had a tone of true frustration and impotence. He was sitting on the transport's seat with the transceiver in his hands, looking at the ground. The source of our former joy was right below us, but now an invisible bureucreatic barrier separated us from the fruit of our hard labor.

-How many other sites like this could be affected by the order?- I looked at the horizon, and kept on meditating on that question inside of my head.

-At least one hundred. And they could be high-concentration deposits as well. All of them closed because of some bastard who likes to kill honest people while they're working.-

-If we hire someone to watch our backs while we're at it... we could finish this certification business today and then the Company will take care of everything else.-

-Yeah. The suits come here and certify the claims, and when all of the extraction workers start doing their thing, the Driller Killer will have a hard time approaching without being seen. The only thing that's stopping everybody is a tiny detail: security.-

-We can pay for that from our commission. I'm sure it won't be much.-

Then the confident look returned to Greco's face as he muttered some words; we jumped inside the transport and raced back to the city, while I relayed a message to our fellow workers: We were about to ask the Company for protection and make the suits pay for it. There was only one force capable of making those office guys change their minds; and its name were the words my mentor had said before cursing both of us for not thinking about it sooner:

The Union.

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 8:50 pm    Post subject: Re: Shadows In The Snow. Chapter 6. Reply with quote

Syrius wrote:
Chapter Six


All in all, I did like this part. There were little issues (a few grammatical things) but on the whole I liked it. The one thing that stuck in my craw was foreshadowing. I love foreshadowing. This piece contained foreshadowing. The problem for me was delivery. Take for example the howling wind. After we are told the wind is howling, which in and of itself can be ominous and foreboding, the next words tell us that it is an omen. That's where I cringed and said, "No! I already know that because the piece was well-written enough that I understood it!" In other words, you don't have to say it, because you were already clear.

Please don't take it the wrong way. The fact that you were already clear, setting a mood earlier in the piece and maintaining it here, keeping up the foreshadowing giving us a picture of something bigger, is all very good. So good, in fact, that you don't have to remind me that you're doing it. Smile It's not that you can't tell me. Mark Twain does just what you did (sometimes). I just don't like it Razz

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 22, 2006 10:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i like it as well. i'll just keep on reading while you post them.
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 23, 2006 3:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow. Thanks. I'm glad at least two folks are following this.

Thanks for the info, a simple snip and the "double description of ominous" can be fixed. Care to point at the grammar errors? Thanks again.

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 12:05 am    Post subject: Shadows in the Snow. Chapter Seven. Reply with quote

Chapter Seven.

There must have been a lot of yelling, swearing, and cheering at the Union's meeting that day; if we were the ones who took the time and risk to bring the CIV crystals to everybody to keep this monotonous life going on, then it was our right to ask for protection from some frustrated butcher apprentice. We couldn't let a simple individual stop our work and the operations of the Company. Of course, everything had to be done according to the rules.

At least that is how I imagined everything was going on back there. Instead of attending the meeting, I was on my way to another place: The wolf habitat in The Dome. Naturally I felt some remorse for turning my back on my coworkers at such an important moment; but there was absolutely no way our demands could be denied. The Company needed to extract CIV to do business, and to extract it, they needed us.

I smiled at the thought of being more interested, for the first time in my life, in something that wasn't work-related. On the other hand, the opportunity to see wild animals this close didn't present itself too often. And the Exhibit (and Elly) would not be there forever.

Was I thinking too much on the the idea of "befriending" Elly? Martell the caretaker had told me she was very friendly and affective, and maybe a persistent desire to get close to her because of that had lodged itself inside my head. But breaking the everyday routine wouldn't hurt. Also, she had brought us some luck from the day I first saw her.


Shortly, I was there. And it was still closed; another hour would pass before the Exhibit opened again. This time I'd have to pay the sum of 20 credits for admission. Of course it didn't matter: I had enough and could watch the whole Exhibit all day long. The wait would be shorter if I sat down and diverted my thoughts to other things.

Money... now that wouldn't be problem. Not from now on. Every pay period had been relatively good for the last two months, and if our claim was certified, we'd be able to start a business of our own. And I'd sure put a good amount of effort into it; the benefits would be enormous. We had already made many sacrifices in the form of long hours, forfeited holidays and salary deductions working for the Company.

I had worked hard all my life before meeting Greco, and then it was more hard work with him; but this time it had a promising future. A future which had finally materialized after years of frustrated attempts and fruitless searches. I was lucky, and I owed everything to my mentor. I would make sure he'd never had the need for anything when he got older. Good old Greco Vitaliz. He saw a potential in me, and took a risk back then. Those last thoughts took the form of muttered words: "The uncle I never had..."

An unintelligible song came faintly from inside the Exhibit all of a sudden; it made me get close to the bars in the door to listen better, but still couldn't understand what the soft feminine voice was saying, except for some strange words.

(Loose, soul, gaea?)

Maybe one of the workers inside came from another city and still spoke one of those forgotten dialects; however I had never heard such a similar song. It was simple, slow and beautiful. Whoever was singing it, sure enjoyed doing so.

Everything went back to cold silence once more; I still expected to hear more of the song, but instead there was only the sound of air escaping from below the steel doors at the entrance. Ten minutes later, a familiar voice greeted me, still cheerful and kind.

-Well, look who's here! Good to see you again. Malcolm, right?-

-Right. Good morning. How is everything?-

-I'm fine myself, thanks. As for this place, let's take a look.- She swiped her access card and entered a confirmation code before requesting the security personnel to open the doors for her. -You must be anxious to enter, huh?- She asked when the locks were released, - We'll be opening the exhibit as soon as we finish a general check.

-Thank you. I guess I got here a little early.-

Shortly, the entrance lights were turned on and Mrs. Martell (or was it Martell only?) appeared and addressed an imaginary crowd:

-Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to The Academy's Department of Biological Sciences exhibit at The Central Dome. Please be sure to follow the security guidelines specially when passing through the areas marked with the yellow signs. Thank you very much for your attention and hope you enjoy your day at The Dome.- Then, she turned to me. -Ha. That's it for the routine. Please come in. How long have you been waiting, by the way?-

-About an hour.-

-Then you must like this place. Coming here once is enough for most people.-

-Well,- I said as we started to walk towards the booth so I could pay for my admission, -I didn't get the chance to take a look at everything, and would like to see how Elly and the other wolves spend their day before the Exhibit ends. I now have more free time in my hands, and thought of coming here.-

-That's good. I'd like to show you something special at the wolf habitat in about two hours. That is, if you want to wait until then.-

-Sure. I'll be here.-

-Okay. See you later. I have to get started.-

-Thank you.- I nodded as she walked away, -See you later.-

I inhaled deeply in the cold air of the Dome. I was determined to see everything the Academy had been working on for so long. I paid for my entrance and headed for the first section.

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 21, 2006 12:20 am    Post subject: Shadows in the Snow. Chapter Eight. Reply with quote

Chapter Eight.

Those two hours went by really quick.

I waited patiently while sitting on a bench, with my arms crossed and watching, delighted, the pack at play. This time, several gray and brown fuzz balls were joining them; four wolf pups ran, rolled and frolicked with the others. And with Elly.

A toy had been left inside, and they had devised a game with it: the little rubber disc was in Elly's possession and as the other wolves and the pups ran towards her trying to take it, she'd walk away a bit; then she'd swing her head quickly, tossing the disc several meters from where they were; and everybody had to run and get it. She got it first again, and waited for her pack mates to get close, wagged her tail slowly as if teasing them, then bolted to the right and threw it again far from their reach. Several minutes passed before someone could snag the disc from her; and everything started one more time. Then, she separated from the group at play and lied down to rest. She had managed to "score" six continuous throws.


Martell arrived a few minutes later; after signing her schedule and handing it over to a coworker, she came to where I was. -All right, that ends the first round of the day. How you like everything?

-It's just great. And there's still a lot I have yet to see. Maybe I'll have to come again tomorrow.-

-Good.- She said while getting closer to the safety wall. -Now it's time to take a little rest. Are you ready? I have to ask you to remain very calm while we are here.-

-Yes. But what is this about?-

-You'll see. Stand here beside me, please. This is a once in a lifetime experience.- She turned to the wolves and cleared her throat, making some of them look to us. Then called in a calm, neutral voice:

-Elly.-

When the black wolf turned to us, Martell repeated her name and asked: -Elly, would you please come here? I want you to meet someone.-

Meet me? I sure wasn't expecting that. Elly stood still for some seconds; then began to walk toward us as the others went back to playing their games. I had been caught off-guard, and my heart started to race out of the surprise. I smiled nervously at Martell:

-Now what?-

-Just stay calm and don't make any sudden move.- Elly was now about one meter away from the fence, and sat down, waiting.

Her eyes.

I finally could see her eyes from that distance. Brown. With a slight reddish tone which added a unique touch to those wild, but soft eyes. A tone similar to that of the exquisite and delicate spirits crafted carefully by the master artisans, their prices reaching the thousands. Yet, there was something familiar (and human) in them.

-Elly, this is Malcolm.- Martell's voice helped me relax in front of such magnificent creature. -Please say Hi to him.-

A soft bark and some tail wagging came after the introduction; and then she got closer to the fence, taking a better look at me. I tried not to show my teeth while smiling when I heard the caretaker speak again.

-Now, place your hand slowly against the fence, and don't move.-

Elly then got the tip of her muzzle close to my fingers and started to sniff them. A rush of pure emotion ran through my body when I felt her breath touching me through the mesh; being this close to a wolf was a wonderful experience. -You were right,- I muttered, -once in a lifetime.-

Elly finished her inspection and sat down again, wagging and looking alternatively at me and Martell. Then she barked softly one more time and went back with her pack mates. I was speechless.

-She likes you.- she said with a satisfied expression, and turned to the wolf: -Thank you, Elly. Thank you so much.- Elly looked at us and wagged her tail again, then returned to the back of the habitat.

-Wow...- I looked at my fingers, still not believing it. -Is this how you get them used to be around people?-

-Not exactly. We only do that to get the wolves to know the staff members, and this makes their research a whole lot easier.-

-But I'm not part of the research team.-

-Well, I can explain that over a hot drink at the cafeteria. Would you like to join me for my break?-

-Yeah, sounds good. Let's go.-



The sweet scent of the tea spiraled upwards along with the steam escaping from the cups as we sat down at the table; Mrs. Martell emptied a sugar packet on her tea and started to tell me why she had "introduced" Elly and I to each other:

-You see, Elly is exceptionally friendly with everybody, not only the research staff. And sometimes when children get to the habitat, she always gets close to them, as if she wanted to play or take a closer look. But the kids always back off because they are afraid of wolves due to all those wrong ideas we have of them. I know she is not a pet, but I dare to think she wouldn't harm them. The result is she never gets to interact with people other than her trainers or caretakers. I asked you to get close to her because I know you're not afraid and she'd benefit by getting to know you. I bet you both liked meeting each other.-

I nodded. -Right. I have to thank you for it. I imagine you took a bit of a risk by letting me get that close to the fence.- We both sipped a bit from our cups and went back to the talk. -She could be of much help in learning from her species if she is that confident around people. What are they going to do with the animals once the exhibit ends?- I got worried for a brief moment. -Hope the directives are not thinking of putting them to sleep or something similar.-


She shook her head. -Oh, no. Nothing like that. What will happen is that all of the funds collected here will be used to continue the research on this study and some other projects they have in mind. So far the response from the public has been good, and the Exhibit will be shown again next cycle. You can count on seeing everything again soon. Killing this project would be a very stupid idea.-

That sure was good to hear. Seeing Elly and the other wolves every cycle. How nice. -I bet there will be many advances in their investigations the next time they open.-

-Yes. In fact, I forgot to mention those wolf pups were born in captivity. We just moved them and their parents here to see how they would adapt to an already-established pack, and everything seems to be working just fine. The leaders accepted them with some hesitation, but there are no rivalries to be worried about.-

-How about Elly? What's her rank?-

-Well, that's a rare thing, you know.- She looked at the outside of her cup for a few seconds before sipping some from it and talking again. -We haven't been able to determine exactly what her position within the pack is. She plays a lot with the pups, but she's not the nanny wolf. The leaders treat her with respect, but she's not the second in command. She doesn't display submissive or dominant behavior to anybody, doesn't look for a companion or tries to eat before the others do. And you saw her sitting with her eyes closed as if thinking deeply yesterday. She behaves more like a guest than a pack member. Maybe it's because she is not related to any of the other wolves.-

-She isn't? Where are her parents?-

-I have no idea. I only know she was introduced to this pack when the project had been already started. She has never given us any problem and takes everything just fine.-

We kept on talking for a little longer until Mrs. Martell's break time was over; she excused herself politely and said goodbye before returning to work.

-It was nice seeing you again, Mr. Malcolm. I wish I could stay a bit longer, but duty calls. Enjoy your visit, ok? I hope we can meet again soon.-

-Just Malcolm, please.- I held her hand again and smiled. -I hope to see you again too. Have a great day.-

-Thanks. See ya'.

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