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Tigermark Site Owner
Joined: 18 Apr 2003 Posts: 855 Location: Hopkinsville, KY
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Posted: Sun Feb 06, 2005 4:45 am Post subject: Jumping to Conclusions |
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Ah, Congrats, Styx. It's a really good story, and I recommend it to everyone. The first chapter is full of surprises, so hang on for the ride.
Tigermark (Sorry folks, but I'm one of Styx's proofers/editors for this one, so it wouldn't be fair for me to OA it.) _________________ Tiger, tiger, burning bright...
http://www.planetfurry.com/~tigermark |
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Cateagle Site Owner
Joined: 20 Nov 2000 Posts: 1004 Location: Ft. Worth, TX
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Posted: Sun Feb 06, 2005 9:11 pm Post subject: Re: Jumping to Conclusions |
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Tigermark wrote: | Ah, Congrats, Styx. It's a really good story, and I recommend it to everyone. The first chapter is full of surprises, so hang on for the ride.
Tigermark (Sorry folks, but I'm one of Styx's proofers/editors for this one, so it wouldn't be fair for me to OA it.) |
*Chuckle* I have to agree since I'm in the same position. *G* You may notice, Tigermark, a few suggestions I made along the way. _________________ "But the wildest of all the wild animals was the Cateagle. He walked by himself and all places were alike to him."
-- With apologies to Rudyard Kipling |
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Tigermark Site Owner
Joined: 18 Apr 2003 Posts: 855 Location: Hopkinsville, KY
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AmigaDragon Registered User
Joined: 05 Dec 2004 Posts: 840 Location: Far Northern Minnesota
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Posted: Thu Feb 10, 2005 5:36 pm Post subject: |
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So, when can we expect the next chapter(s)? |
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Cateagle Site Owner
Joined: 20 Nov 2000 Posts: 1004 Location: Ft. Worth, TX
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Posted: Thu Feb 10, 2005 6:09 pm Post subject: |
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AmigaDragon wrote: | So, when can we expect the next chapter(s)? |
I believe Styx said he's planning on posting one a week. I can assure you that ti just gets better, so get in now, at the beginning. _________________ "But the wildest of all the wild animals was the Cateagle. He walked by himself and all places were alike to him."
-- With apologies to Rudyard Kipling |
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Styx Site Owner
Joined: 25 Dec 2002 Posts: 3176 Location: West Covina, California
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Posted: Thu Feb 10, 2005 6:17 pm Post subject: |
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I will will be posting a chapter each Friday, thanks for the intrest AD _________________ "Political Correctness is tyranny with manners." Charlton Heston
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Styx Site Owner
Joined: 25 Dec 2002 Posts: 3176 Location: West Covina, California
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Posted: Fri Feb 11, 2005 4:30 pm Post subject: |
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And chapter two is up enjoy _________________ "Political Correctness is tyranny with manners." Charlton Heston
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Aramis Dagaz Registered User
Joined: 02 Dec 2003 Posts: 174 Location: the City of Roses
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Posted: Fri Feb 11, 2005 8:20 pm Post subject: |
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Daaang, this is getting intense. A fairly straightforward chapter, but it just keeps raising more questions. What's going on with Clare wandering the darkness and hearing voices? What's to become of Susan? Wanda might be in love with Clarence?! And what is going to happen even after Cindy clears up the misunderstanding? Clare is on death's door, Susan is in some seriously deep legal waters, and Clare's mom is going to be on the warpath if he takes a turn for the worse. I can see the friendship between Cindy and Susan being strained the the breaking point, and what of Zig Zag? She treats her employees like family, and Clare is certainly part of that family now.
So many questions...
...and I have to wait until next week for the next chapter! (arrrgh!)
Keep up the great work, Styx! _________________ Companions the creator seeks, not corpses, not herds and believers. Fellow creators the creator seeks--those who write new values on new tablets.
--Friedrich Nietzsche
Enter the City of Roses... |
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Styx Site Owner
Joined: 25 Dec 2002 Posts: 3176 Location: West Covina, California
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Posted: Fri Feb 11, 2005 9:44 pm Post subject: |
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Well thank you Aramis and I hope you like what's coming. _________________ "Political Correctness is tyranny with manners." Charlton Heston
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Styx Site Owner
Joined: 25 Dec 2002 Posts: 3176 Location: West Covina, California
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Posted: Fri Feb 18, 2005 4:18 pm Post subject: |
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Okay I just put chapter three up a few minutes ago have fun _________________ "Political Correctness is tyranny with manners." Charlton Heston
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Aramis Dagaz Registered User
Joined: 02 Dec 2003 Posts: 174 Location: the City of Roses
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Posted: Sat Feb 19, 2005 3:08 am Post subject: |
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Finally, the truth is out, but Clarence is still on death's doorstep and we don't know what will happen to Susan. But this story continues to keep me enthralled.
However, you might want to review it again, as I found several typos and errors in there. I'll be more than happy to help you out with that. I will say here and now that I keep seeing the lose/loose error, not just in your story but in a lot of people's work. You may lose a rope by misplacing it, but a loose knot in the rope won't hold. Sorry, just had to point that out.
However, your story is very gripping and hard to put down (well, actually it is; I ran out of story to read!) Keep up the good work Styx! _________________ Companions the creator seeks, not corpses, not herds and believers. Fellow creators the creator seeks--those who write new values on new tablets.
--Friedrich Nietzsche
Enter the City of Roses... |
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Styx Site Owner
Joined: 25 Dec 2002 Posts: 3176 Location: West Covina, California
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Posted: Sat Feb 19, 2005 4:02 am Post subject: |
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Glad you like it Aramis it means a lot and thanks for the offer but I have Mike looking it over for me and the last two chapters as well so hopefully that should catch all the mistakes he's the third one to edit them after all. I'll post the corrected chapter as soon as I get it back from him, thanks again for the kind words. _________________ "Political Correctness is tyranny with manners." Charlton Heston
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Styx Site Owner
Joined: 25 Dec 2002 Posts: 3176 Location: West Covina, California
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Posted: Sun Feb 20, 2005 5:30 pm Post subject: |
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Okay the corrected chapter is up, and giving thanks where thanks is due I have added Mike to the acknowledgements page and thanks again Mike you da fur. _________________ "Political Correctness is tyranny with manners." Charlton Heston
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Styx Site Owner
Joined: 25 Dec 2002 Posts: 3176 Location: West Covina, California
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Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 4:26 pm Post subject: |
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Announcing chapter four for you're enjoyment. _________________ "Political Correctness is tyranny with manners." Charlton Heston
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Aramis Dagaz Registered User
Joined: 02 Dec 2003 Posts: 174 Location: the City of Roses
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Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 10:08 pm Post subject: |
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The suspense!!!
Ya still have me hooked and still going strong, Styx. You're putting in some good character development, I feel that I know Clarence and his family better now than when I read the first chapter.
As for points for improvement, you might want to recheck your punctuation again. There are a few periods missing in some of the shorter quotations.
Keep up the great tale, Styx! _________________ Companions the creator seeks, not corpses, not herds and believers. Fellow creators the creator seeks--those who write new values on new tablets.
--Friedrich Nietzsche
Enter the City of Roses... |
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