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Styx Site Owner
Joined: 25 Dec 2002 Posts: 3176 Location: West Covina, California
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Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 4:34 pm Post subject: |
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Last but not least Chapter five is up and you'll notice it's about double in length enjoy. _________________ "Political Correctness is tyranny with manners." Charlton Heston
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anthony Site Owner
Joined: 12 Nov 2001 Posts: 1304 Location: Norway
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Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2005 6:22 pm Post subject: |
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Enjoyed....
_________________ "My name's Lion, Anthony Lion"
A fur with a license to purr...
---
Like my Avatar?
Why not surf over to www.micecomics.com and tell Mary what a stellar job she did... |
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Tigermark Site Owner
Joined: 18 Apr 2003 Posts: 855 Location: Hopkinsville, KY
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Posted: Sun Mar 06, 2005 3:15 am Post subject: |
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Okay, now it's done. great story Styx. I'll echo Aramis and say I really liked your character developement in this. especially Claire and Cindy, but also Cindy's parents, and Claire's. Zig and Wanda were well done, too. And having a go at Clarence's mom? Shame on you, ya ol' cat ya,LOL. Had a lot of fun reading this one, Styx.
Tigermark. _________________ Tiger, tiger, burning bright...
http://www.planetfurry.com/~tigermark |
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Styx Site Owner
Joined: 25 Dec 2002 Posts: 3176 Location: West Covina, California
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Posted: Sun Mar 06, 2005 2:16 pm Post subject: |
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Heh thanks guys, I had actually thought about following up on this with a story about my character and Sharon getting together but it probably won't happen at least not for a long time. I do have an idea for a series placed in the Sabrinaverse with mostly original charaters based on a comic book style super hero. _________________ "Political Correctness is tyranny with manners." Charlton Heston
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Aramis Dagaz Registered User
Joined: 02 Dec 2003 Posts: 174 Location: the City of Roses
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Posted: Sun Mar 20, 2005 4:27 pm Post subject: |
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Oi, oh so late in replying (blame Spring Break and midterms for that). On to the OA...
Like TM said, I love the character development in this story. I think I might've read some sort of hint regarding Clarence's dad somewhere else, but this tale really brings it to life. I feel that I know the Skunk family much better after reading this story.
Points for improvement: I think this chapter has enough material for two, maybe three chapters. Breaking the chapter up a little into smaller segments would help avoid the feeling that every plot thread is ended too neatly. Don't rush it, letting a subplot linger just a little enhances the impact on the reader. You were dealing with enough story material to last probably another three chapters.
However, to say that I didn't enjoy the last chapter would a flat-out lie. I was laughing about half the time at all the dialogue. I also discovered the reason why this story was written <winks and nudges Styx in the ribs> At least you had me fooled that this story was about Clarence and not about Styx and Sharon hooking up; great surprise ending there <laughs>
Great work with this tale, Styx. This story was a very enjoyable read. Keep up the good work and let me know when your next tale is ready! _________________ Companions the creator seeks, not corpses, not herds and believers. Fellow creators the creator seeks--those who write new values on new tablets.
--Friedrich Nietzsche
Enter the City of Roses... |
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Styx Site Owner
Joined: 25 Dec 2002 Posts: 3176 Location: West Covina, California
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Posted: Sun Mar 20, 2005 5:33 pm Post subject: |
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Glad you liked it AD. To tell the truth I had first thought to break up the last chapter into two chapters, but ultimately I thought that once the main plot interest namely Clarence's condition was resolved interest in reading further chapters would drop like a stone, so I felt compelled to wrap everything up with that chapter (yeah I know weak but as this is only the second story I've written I'm still not real confident in my ability). As to the ulterior motive for the story, yes I have thought of writing a story with my character & Sharon getting together, but I have no experience in romance I'm not sure it will happen. I am considering another story with my character set in the Sabrinavers as a comicbook style superhero, whatta ya think? _________________ "Political Correctness is tyranny with manners." Charlton Heston
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Aramis Dagaz Registered User
Joined: 02 Dec 2003 Posts: 174 Location: the City of Roses
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Posted: Sat Mar 26, 2005 3:41 pm Post subject: |
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Ah, plenty to respond to here.
Styx wrote: | To tell the truth I had first thought to break up the last chapter into two chapters, but ultimately I thought that once the main plot interest namely Clarence's condition was resolved interest in reading further chapters would drop like a stone, so I felt compelled to wrap everything up with that chapter |
Are you sure about that? Give the readers a good enough hook and you can get them to read almost anything. To be honest, with a title like "Jumping to Conclusions", part of me felt that Clarence's condition wouldn't be the end of it. Like I said, there was plenty of material that could keep the story going for another few chapters. Another option would have been to end the Clarence-oriented part of the story as like a seperate part or book, and leave enough hanging for a sequel, providing a springboard for your next story. This would be good for you as the writer because you've closed the principle plot as one story, so that anything not resolved would be a new story entirely. Readers will give you a break then (well, most readers from what I've observed in others) so you can rest and plan your next story. The best example in this case would be "Identity Crisis" by Hikaru. The story really "ended" when Act III ended. Anything after that was a new story entirely. I expected him to take a month off to rest from all that writing, but he surprised me by jumping right back into it almost immediately. But at any rate, he finished almost all of the plot threads at the end of Act III, but not all, like what happened in Sheila's home plane. This was the hook and springboard for the next part of the story.
Styx wrote: | yeah I know weak but as this is only the second story I've written I'm still not real confident in my ability |
No crime there. We'll be sure to help you cultivate your talent with whips and cattle prods
Seriously, though. The only way to get better is to write more stories (hint, hint ).
Styx wrote: | As to the ulterior motive for the story, yes I have thought of writing a story with my character & Sharon getting together, but I have no experience in romance I'm not sure it will happen. |
Didn't stop me. When I started writing furry fiction a few years ago, I had very, very little romantic experience, and most of it wasn't good enough to be considered a good influence for romantic writing. All I had to go on what what I read in other romantic stories such as Sabrina-Online the Story and Zig Zag the Story. They say write what you know, but when it comes to what you don't know, look it up. This means both actual research for technical or historic data as well as looking at what other writers wrote about similar things. My motto as a writer is "Walking through the gardens of others, I've accumulated enough dirt on my boots to fertilize my own". That's what gave me my start.
Styx wrote: | I am considering another story with my character set in the Sabrinavers as a comicbook style superhero, whatta ya think? |
I'll be honest, it sounds like a fun idea, but I'm just a little skeptical about the idea, mostly because I'm not sure what it would be about (I don't read a lot of superhero comics). Don't let this discourage you, though. Write it! Show me that there is a good tale to tell! I'm sure it will be fun for you to write as it would be for others to read. Go fur it!
<looks at the size of the post> Geeze, ya'd think I was an old paw at this stuff... _________________ Companions the creator seeks, not corpses, not herds and believers. Fellow creators the creator seeks--those who write new values on new tablets.
--Friedrich Nietzsche
Enter the City of Roses... |
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Styx Site Owner
Joined: 25 Dec 2002 Posts: 3176 Location: West Covina, California
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Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2005 1:57 pm Post subject: |
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Some things to think about, I may very well write another story with Sharon but right now my muse seems to have taken leave at least she hasn't been as insistent. A few few things pop into my head an idea or two but nothing to get me fired up, we'll see. _________________ "Political Correctness is tyranny with manners." Charlton Heston
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Aramis Dagaz Registered User
Joined: 02 Dec 2003 Posts: 174 Location: the City of Roses
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Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2005 4:56 pm Post subject: |
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Muses are fickle entities. I've had to romance a few ideas out of my muse before (as in walking to the nearest Subway and having a quiet meal, but the walk gives me time to think. Sometimes I end up with inspiration for things other than story ideas, but it's still fun). For some reason, my muse works best when I should be doing something else. What a slacker _________________ Companions the creator seeks, not corpses, not herds and believers. Fellow creators the creator seeks--those who write new values on new tablets.
--Friedrich Nietzsche
Enter the City of Roses... |
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Cateagle Site Owner
Joined: 20 Nov 2000 Posts: 1004 Location: Ft. Worth, TX
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Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2005 1:48 am Post subject: |
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*chuckle* And some times your muse decides to give you something for later in the story rather than for the part you're working on now. I'm dealing with some of that at the moment. Actually, several different segments of From The Wings. And some are drastically reshaping others; muses can be wicked at times. _________________ "But the wildest of all the wild animals was the Cateagle. He walked by himself and all places were alike to him."
-- With apologies to Rudyard Kipling |
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Shadu Registered User
Joined: 21 May 2003 Posts: 336 Location: Barranquilla
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Posted: Thu Sep 21, 2006 4:43 pm Post subject: |
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since i think the sam about both i'l leave it here and know i mean it for both. they are very cool stories. i read them when they first came out and i can't beleive i never said anything. _________________ __________________
New Dog In Town! |
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Teric Registered User
Joined: 11 Dec 2006 Posts: 2566 Location: Southern California
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Posted: Fri Jan 19, 2007 5:13 pm Post subject: |
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Just read this story for the first time. Nice work, Styx. You've done quite a bit of good character development, and Clarence finally gets to come out of his shell and be assertive.
I'm a bit suprised that Susan reacted by mauling Clarence. She has a fiery temper at times, to be sure, and heaven knows I would be spouting flames if my sister was raped. However, I must admit that I'm surprised Susan reacted so strongly and so quickly. (I realize that it was central to the story's plot, so I'll leave it at that.)
It was really cool to get a look into Clarence's past and family matters, and to meet his father. _________________ Styx: "Oh sure like flaming a dragon going to do massive damage, brave challenge there Teric." |
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AmigaDragon Registered User
Joined: 05 Dec 2004 Posts: 840 Location: Far Northern Minnesota
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Posted: Fri Jan 19, 2007 5:33 pm Post subject: |
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Just remember as you hop from one story to another that they aren't all canon to the others. _________________ "Cogito, ergo es. I think, therefore you is." Ray D. Tutto (King of the Moon) to Baron Munschaussen |
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Teric Registered User
Joined: 11 Dec 2006 Posts: 2566 Location: Southern California
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Posted: Fri Jan 19, 2007 6:20 pm Post subject: |
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Yeah, I realize that Amiga. But it's still fun to read the fan fics and see other fur's takes on the events in the story.
On the other hand, I need to be careful to keep cannon and fan-fic separate in mind. _________________ Styx: "Oh sure like flaming a dragon going to do massive damage, brave challenge there Teric." |
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Styx Site Owner
Joined: 25 Dec 2002 Posts: 3176 Location: West Covina, California
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Posted: Fri Jan 19, 2007 7:49 pm Post subject: |
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Glad you liked it Teric When I show it to Chris he said he could see Susan reacting just that way if it were a fur she didn't know. My premis was that other then Cindy or possibly Sabrina the Clique din't really know Clarence well at all, just a self concious geek they teased Sabrina about until Cindy started dating him but there was never much interaction with Debbie or Susan. I know you like ZZtS too so if you would check out my other fanfic "A Two Way Street" James and Zig face trusng eachother with their demons, tell me what you think. _________________ "Political Correctness is tyranny with manners." Charlton Heston
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