Planetfurry BBS

[Elfen_Furry]

After a long and hard time in thinking about this, and only telling a very few of my closest friends and yet still no answers to be found.

It happened on Thursday before New Years, shortly after making a donation (in person) to the Red Cross (DAMN Do I So hate that place now, ever since they so screwed up the first week @ 911), and a long cellphone talk to my ex-from-heaven, I bump into of all things in the universe- my ex-from-hell in the front of Lincoln Center Plaza.

She was not alone- but with a rather beauty of a lass of about 19 years of age. My ex did not freak out, but this time only froze like a doomed deer in front of the headlights.

But the girl and I stood there and looked at each other for a good long time. Longer than most would be comfortable with; not face to face or constant eye contact stares, no. We looked each other over like a pair of interested canines.

She looks like a young female version of me, but with my ex's hair- though with my eyes. Yes- my eyes, with their gifts and problems I have with them, she has the same set.

Then she spoke- "Why does he looks so much like me- mom?" Other questions followed; "Why did I never looked like father, and who's this guy? Why you married father 2 years after i was born?"

My ex-from-hell tried to take her wrist and walk her away from me, but the girl refused. She held fast and asked me a couple of questions, but I asked a couple of my own.

We broke up (again and for good) when she decided that I was too much of an emotional train wreck after my wife's death. She, like so many others) believed that they can replace themselves in the spot my wife holds in my heart; no other spot for them was good enough. I refuse to give it.

We were constantly fighting, she was always looking for excuses to start one or to break up the relationship. Her parents divorsed during this time, so she was becoming an emotional wreck herself. But her biggest concern was the $36K a year tution while she was at Cornell. My final act was to anonymously disposit $86K into her student account with $72K going to her tutition and the rest to her student expenses. Our last fight was a doozy, not mentioning who pulled what strings or favors were called, but it ended with me telling her that no matter how well her world becomes- I want no part of it, dont come looking for me, ever.

Was she pregnant at the time? Not that she would tell me. Nor that our shared friends would tell me either. She suceeded in forcing them to take sides, something that I did not wish she did or too I would have done.

She married a year after graduation, to an idiot professional college student, while she worked hard. He eventually graduated with a degree in computer science and works for Bloomberg Inc. They did not have children until just recently.

Since then, the Ex-from-hell and I met on several occasions, most of them of her freaking out like somebody poured gasoline and set fire to a bashee. At a friend's funeral, she manipulated everyone to stay away from me. Problem is- no one listened. We bump into each other too oftten. That the problem.

The girl's in her 2nd year in college, even at 19-ish. Genius level intellenge is on my side of the family- so is insanity, not as for the ex's husband- the idiot gene rules.

I so hate Genetics. I so hate the genetic issues that my father gave me. And if the very core of my being tells me that I'm correct, I'm going to need to have a long talk about them with her about genetics, and the issues I have. I gave her one of my yahoo mail addresses that I rarely use- so any fresh emails that will get there will be hers.

Damn my ex-from-hell for remaining quiet for so long. To be a father and never know about it- perhaps this is why turles cry and salmon die when they reproduce.

[Elfen_Furry]

Wednesday the 5th; damned date sounds like some french resturant pastery dish.

Since what I would call the "Accidental Discovery", I have been recieving a lot of phone calls on the Ex-from-hell's behave to leave this alone. But I cant. Yet, normally I would not care, but now there is a life involved and I want answers. Further more there is my genetic issues that I have to deal with, and if this girl is my daughter- she has to know of them too.

If things were honky-dory with me, persay, I was a normal beathing human being, I would put another notch in my jock strap and say- "OH Yeah" to the whole thing. But I'm not. Persay if I live past the age of 50, I'll be one very lucky man to have gone thus far. But like my father before me, and from what I'm told- my fate will have a very simillar end- to die in a great deal of pain at 45 and not having a whole lot of in terms of family and friends, he died a very lonely and hated man. Least to say- I'm hated, but at least for now I got friends. Its this genetics stuff thats killing me, and if I were to have children- they would likely to suffer too.

There is genetic testing for the condictions I have and own; and unfortunately any child I may have may also get them. It is a sultry tale at best. If I wanted to kidnap her, I would have done so on day one.

I really dont care about being a father- that part was stolen from me, again. Nor am I going to do something stupid like trying to relieve times with her or talk about what could have been or pretend of what things might be. If she wants to be my friend, thats on her but I have one very important message for her and one messeage that means life and death for her as it has for me: The State of Genetics in my family, and how it effects me and how it can her.

I know the forum is read by those who called me, hell, one or two might be lurking on it now, so, my message to you- you know what I can do and have seen what I have done. You have read my medical reacords when you gotten access to them without my knowledge, so you know what I have and how much time there is left for me. And thats the problem, if she is my daughter- she will undergo what I am going through now. Understand that, and let this old man give some information to her so at least she wont have to suffer as much as I have...

Everyone involved got 7 days to respond...

[Elfen_Furry]

Its offical, she's my girl.

Past couple of weeks of emails and slo-mail, a couple of lab tests and several questions asked all come to 1 conclusion- she's my daughter.

What's next?

Dont know.

She has her own life that I was never a part of. I have mine. As cold as that sounds, thats all I can say.

Though she's interested in meeting up oneday and dsicussing history of what once was and all the gorey details thereof, I am however am not. At least in giving her the history and gorey details.

Others don't want me to do anything with her. I have recieved several so-called threats from so-called friends to leave her alone. I'm not heeding them, and as she and I digussed- she is making the first contact attempts.

The ex-from-hell is quite upset about this, though she's being quiet and letting others do the talking for her. Her husband told me to leave her alone. I told him to tell her to leave me alone. He thinks that I'm after her for some reason that is perverse and evil. I dont care what he thinks. And as for perverse and evil, what they did was perverse and evil.

Looks like this will continue for a while to come...

[redcrescent27]

you're a ..... daddy?
oooo man

[Elfen_Furry]

Nothing much on this end. Pretty much waiting for spring break, where she would like to spend some time with me.

Other than that, the threats continue, and I challenge them.

Only other concern- Ex-from-heaven's been very sick lately with flu-like symptoms and breathing problems. Since Thanksgiving!!! She was in the hospital for a while and wont let me help her out. Sheesh- like her twin sister/my wife... strong headed... then again, like me. Thats what worries me. Like me, she wont go to the hospital unless her unconscious ass is brought over there. So to be there, she had to have been in pretty bad shape, and I was not told of this after the fact. Oh well.

To be continued.

[Very_Itchy_Fur]

I found this right before siging off. Just want to clarify a few things: I was 20 when we first met, I'm 21 now- will be 22 in Dec 22. yeah, I'm a Christmas Baby.

Actually, we have bumped into each other a few times before, but never in such a way that we did on that day. For some reason, everyonce in a while, mom would grab my arm and suddenly change direction. After a few years of this, I noticed that the only one factor was 'him'. The one guy she seems to be avoiding for some reason. I oftened wondered why.

Now we all know why. And the rest is history.

[Shar]

My sister was born on the 22 of December.. small world