Planetfurry BBS

[Typhun]

amen to that henry....

...and good luck with yours too, racky...

[racky raccoon]

well thanks one and all.. i hope we see some more soon....

[Cateagle]

'Tis a good start there. *smiles* I've got one in the works that starts with about as much.

[Hurtful_Wolf]

Yes. . .good stuff from both of ya. . .I'll be impatiently waiting to read more

[Typhun]

well, youll have to wait a bit longer... ive still not started the 2nd chapter yet. but ill be working on it soon.

... theres also a relevantly-set art peice in my thread in Drwaing Corner, check it out and, if you want, please gimme feedback! any critisms (apart from lack of colour, i dont have the facilities) would do nicely!

thanx.

[Typhun]

heres a part of the second chapter. i want your input befor i go further. also the character marked --- needs a name. any sugestions?

EDIT: and any typos will also be sorted...
EDIT no. 2: and --- now has a name. its james.

********


1 week later and 5000ft over sector two. allied side of the lines.
there was always something majical about dawn patrol. maybe it was the fact that you were completely free to move in the air, or to fly into and out of the pink, orsy clouds that always formed in such glorious mornings.
or maybe, just maybe, it was because a war was only 5000ft away. but it had never seamed so...distant....
....removed.....
...unexisting...
....unreal...
.with henry on my left, and james on my right, our vic must have looked like some kind of symbol. at least it would from the point of view staffel that were about to jump us from above. The first thing i new about them was the fabric on my tail ripping- i looked around, and caught a flash of blue and yellow, and then it was gone. i imediatly gave the break signal, but Henry was one step ahead and was diving on the blue and yellow boche- a pfalz- and the stacato of his vickers and lewis broke through the sound of my engine.
looking back, i saw james had a boch on his tail, this one a red and white striped pfalz, one of the new types. that meant experienced pilot. Experienced, but not an ace. i whirled my SE around and followed him down. lineing him up in my sight. i fired, and was satisfied to see james break left and the boche turn right. straight into my tracer. his engine gave a belch of smoke. stopped, and picked up again. i was close to him now, watchng the tracer hit into the fabric on his tail, then moving towards the cockpit. the pilot was looking at me, his rodent features clear against the bright blue dawn. then he slumped, as one of my tracer caught him, and his machine caught fire from the engine. and all i could do was watch as helpless, his machine went whirling to its doom...
a ripping sound brought me back. that blue and yellow boche was back, and henry was nowhere to be seen. come to think of it i was alone with this bastard behind me. rolling onto my back, i brought my SE into a verticle dive, and put it in a spin. at 2000 i pulled out but, to my utter surprise, and mild horror, i saw the boche still behind me.
right....
i spun down and pulled out at 25ft. dodging various treelines and buildings, trying to shake him off. More sounds of ripping, this time from my right upper wing. pulling a sudden tight right-hand turn, i threw him off long enough to pull a half loop, still dangerousely close to the ground, and came in behind him. i fired, but my lewis spurted only once and then went click, and the vickers i found had 2 large holes in it, and was smashed to ovblivion inside. I took this moment of opportunity to scarper, staying low. on my way out i passed the mangled wreckage of an aeroplane, nationality unknown, burning in the corner of a field....
i eventually found Henry and james stooging around at 5000, where we had parted. they formed up on me, and we headed onwards. Henry held up a finger. Nice, that meant he'd got one. then he pointed to james. who held up 2 fingers, then made a shooting motion with his free hand, and then cupped it over his googles. 1 fighter and 1 obervation plane. even better . 5th time out and he's on 3 kills. that was enough to make him a serious contender in mine and henry's little bet if he kept it up....
I held up one hand, then pointed to my guns. They nodded, so i signalled to return to base.

[racky raccoon]

well i really liked it only one thing, at the time that you are writing about German fighter patrols would not be on the allied side of the lines, only we went on offencive fighter patrols (the germans started their lone wolf patrols at the start of 1918).

but i dont susspect thats gonna worry you lmto.

i think its fast pased and factual all in all a good read enjoyable and acurate.

wel done my friend

[Henry_Hound]

Very good start. It has me riveted to my seat almost wanting to read more. Please continue.

[Typhun]

heh, thanks guys. the irony is that i was listening to Iron Maidens Aces high to begin with.....ive set aside my saturday nights to write this. so expect a new update around once every fortnight.


from the Brave Sir Robin of the sky( ), Typhun.

[Typhun]

ive got part two of chapter 2 done. here its is
------------------------------------
Back at base, Dave threw a fit of rage at the damage i had taken, and Cate seemed a little ofput after seeing the sight of Henry's.
Understandable, i thought. the S.E.'s were still fairly rare, and spares were hard to come by. all i could do was ask him to have it ready by tuesday, when ouir next patrol was. i then decided to have a look at my aircraft closer. the fueselage had a huge gash in it, and had been trailing the fabric about 2 meters behind it. the wing had just become a sieve attached to my aircaft. the left back strut was shattered, and the rudder fell off as i touched it....
....And then i saw Henrys. it was a write-off.bullet holes everywhere. i was surprised it could support its own weight, it looked that crippled. even Henry, who would view the end of the world with an expression of just mild annoyance, looked sick. he looked at me, looked away, looked back, doubled over and vomited on the grass.
" i did say leave the mess food in the mornings didn't i?, or am i really that repulsive?" i said, jokingly.
he laughed, still doubled over, then vomited again. thats when i saw the blood. the entire right hand side of his flying jacket was a viscous mess. he hadn't noticed he'd been hit in the heat of battle, and it was only after the adrenaline had worn off that the pain had made him physically sick.
" GET THE STRETCHER! AND THE M.O.! NOW!" I yelled. turned back to henry. " just hang on, k?". he nodded. i peeled back the jacket, which had been shredded. i had to look away, and put the jacket back. the M.O. arrived, a big black panther named Hud, with the ambulance truck, 2 orderlies and a strecher.. i helped lift henry onto the strecher and into the back of the truck, where the MO gave him some painkillers and examined him. and with that they pushed me out the back of the truck.
a few minutes, and much screaming and cursing later the MO emerged and told me the situation in his birmingham accent.
" from what i can see, its not going to be fatal. hes got a bullet in the flesh on his right chest, just under the skin. it must have ricoched off of one of his ribs. he also took a bullet graze to the right arm and left temple. it looks worse than it is. of course, it doesn't help that hes bleeding like a feckin stuffed pig. hes incredibly lucky, thats all i can say." he paused to light a cigarette. "but he'll need a hospital now if you want him back on the squadron anytime soon..."
james came over a joined us
"then lets get him to one." he said "thers a military one about 3 miles from here. i can show you the way"

We got there in 10 minutes. it had once been a chatuae, but now had a large white sheet with a red cross on it drapped across the roof.
by this time the pain killers had kicked in, and henry had stopped cursing from the pain. he was taken by a military orlderlie, in a whellchair, to see one of the doctors. he mumbled, through the thick viel of the painkillers, that we were not to wait for him.
3 hours later and me, james and our MO had been waiting in one of the chateaus old dinning rooms. one of the ones that hadn't been converted into an operating theater. we were eventually told, by a Feline Military Doctor of undecernable species, that they had removed the bullet without the need for anesthetic, and that his grazes had been sorted and bandaged. he would also have to remain in the hospital for 3 days, but that we could see him in the recov. room. when we got there he was asleep. so we left, promising to return tomorrow, and see how he was doing....

[racky raccoon]

woo hoo, love it, love it, love it.

i cant see anything story wise wrong with it ( even the history part of it is correct).

i really am exited about this story i hope Henry's ok..... we shall see i hope

[Cateagle]

Good 'un. Needs some spelling clean-up and such, but a good read.

[Henry_Hound]

Well it seems that some German got a lucky shot in. Oh well if the dock said 3 days Henry would be ready to go the next day, or day after that at the most, whether he was ready or not.

[Typhun]

[racky raccoon]

*GROWN* i think we need to ERASE that pun *ducks from the incoming shoes and the odd tomato *