|
Planetfurry BBS Forums for Planetfurry Site Members and more
|
View previous topic :: View next topic |
Author |
Message |
Cateagle Site Owner
Joined: 20 Nov 2000 Posts: 1004 Location: Ft. Worth, TX
|
Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2004 11:06 am Post subject: New Story |
|
|
I'm not goign to give away much on this one, yet, but I thought I'd post the first paragraph for comments:
Standing in the bow of the longship as it skated over the deep waters of the North Atlantic, Leif Jonsson strained every feline sense to catch the first hints of the land ahead; the land he'd signed on to fight for. At the same time, his tail twitched as he mused, This sure wasn't what I expected when I left home; but then second sons don't have a lot of choices, especially in a little town at the end of a far northern fjord. The forest cat looked back at his belongings as his thoughts continued, Still, I can't say my father skimped on me; that axe was not cheap, even if he did the smithy work himself. Shrugging his shoulders to settle his tunic, one paw dropped to the bone-handled knife in his belt as he chuckled to himself, Not that he didn't teach me, either. It helped a lot getting this friend and that sword. Bracing himself, he let his mind drift back to the day he'd earned the sword. _________________ "But the wildest of all the wild animals was the Cateagle. He walked by himself and all places were alike to him."
-- With apologies to Rudyard Kipling |
|
Back to top |
|
|
hikaru Administrator
Joined: 20 Nov 2000 Posts: 1581 Location: Kansas City, KS, USA
|
|
Back to top |
|
|
Cateagle Site Owner
Joined: 20 Nov 2000 Posts: 1004 Location: Ft. Worth, TX
|
Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2004 12:11 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Hikaru wrote: | Not a bad opening. Only comment is that if you're in the bow, then you're below decks. It sounds like he's standing on the bow of the ship.
Be interesting to see more.
Cheers |
Okay, that's precisely the kind of feedback I was looking for. This story is something of a departure for me (I'm finally getting back to it after way too long) and I welcome this kind of feedback. There's considerably more written, but lots more to write. *stretches* It feels good to try something different. _________________ "But the wildest of all the wild animals was the Cateagle. He walked by himself and all places were alike to him."
-- With apologies to Rudyard Kipling |
|
Back to top |
|
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum You cannot attach files in this forum You cannot download files in this forum
|
Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group
|