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Adventure Kay and the Claw of Karnak
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Cirrel
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Joined: 29 Mar 2003
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Location: 400 miles north of everywhere

PostPosted: Mon Mar 01, 2004 1:49 am    Post subject: Adventure Kay and the Claw of Karnak Reply with quote

Okay. To reduce any confusion (mostly mine) I've started a new thread for this short story gone horribly awry. Razz
For the first part of the story - "Asian Antics or Leggo my Eggo!" - you can either sift through the 'Drawing with a graphics pad' thread on this forum OR you can read the HTML version at:
Adventure Kay and the Claw of Karnak
New installments will be posted to this thread as soon as the fall out of my excuse for a brain.

Cirrel - who needs to go re-charge his 'silly' batteries for a bit.

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Mapper
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 01, 2004 5:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Excellent Very Happy Oh that 15 brought tears from the laughing. Thanks Cirrel. Very Happy
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Vee Are Are Schee
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 01, 2004 9:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is absolutely beautiful; one of the most hillarious things I've read in a while.
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Kayngi
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 01, 2004 6:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I nearly hurt myself when I saw Butt Monkeys of Doom... LOL
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Tigermark
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 02, 2004 4:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think I speak for all the males involved when I say, Thank The Lord we got outta there!" It's been a blast travelling w/ya Kayngi, I'm looking forward to more! LMTO!

Tigermark (Thanks again, Cirrel! *and the tiger heads for home between story parts in a thunderous boom of afterburners and white tiger stripes, be back for the next one?*)

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Cirrel
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 02, 2004 9:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Adventure Kay and the Claw of Karnak

Part 2 - "Latino Lunacy"

-------------------------------------

16. Night Moves

The moonless Got-Amalan night glittered with a million stars, and the gentle hum of the Pratt & Whitney's was a perfect accompaniment to the sighing slipstream. Inside the darkened flight deck, two furs sat with the radio playing softly in their headphones.

"And now, it's time for Pat Rabbitson's Holy-Moly Hour! So please give a big paw to Mr. 'Itsa Merkle!' himself, Pat.....

One of the furs quickly fiddled with the radio.

"...please welcome, directly from their successful engagement at the posh Club Soda in Got-Amala City, that Tit-Mouse of Tango, Cheese Louise, and her Stooge-monkeys of Swing - Moe Jo JoJo, Larry Hairy, and Curley Cue. Take it away!"

A steamy tune, as hot as the tropical night air, filled the headphones - punctuated by an occasional 'Nyuk'.

"Nice tune," said a quiet voice. "Too bad there isn't much room in this puddle-jumper. I feel like dancing."

"You could have taken 'El Tigre Blanco' airlines, and been in Got-Amala City by now, dancing to your hearts content."

"Enough of that. You know you're still my Maine Coon."

"Well... he was okay, I guess... for a jet jockey."

"And he may come in handy later. I think you're still mad because I called you 'KittyHawk' in front of him. Am I right?"

"My friends can call me that whenever they want."

"But woe to those who snicker."

"KittyHawk is a fine and storied name, deserving of much respect."

"Even if it sounds like a Beenie-Baby moniker?"

"I'll have you know, Doctor, that I'm no sawdust-stuffed collectible. I come from a long line of profoundly proficient pilot pusses, both naval and aeronautical. Not many could have pulled off that spur-of-the-moment, snatch 'n' scamper maneuver."

A svelte feline paw gently caressed the yoke. "That's true. I must admit, you handled Miss Piggy with a masterful touch."

There was a rough chuckle. "Watch it there. This flying pork-barrel might think I'm actually starting to like her."

Kayngi chuckled as well. Cateagle might not 'like' Miss Piggy', but his devotion to the gutsy plane was undeniable.

"Two hours to Got-Amala City airport," said the Maine Coon. "Why don't you get some sleep?"

Kay nodded, lowered her backrest, and let her thoughts drift away along with the music into the night.

---------------------

Other creatures were thinking and planning this night, too.

"So who have you gotten to do the snatch?" asked the wolf on the throne.

"We have three furs in position. The leader is a lion/leopard cross named Cutter Long, the dotted lion. The bait is a hot little two-timer called Ima Cheetah, and the insider is an actor camel named Drama Derry."

"Let's do it then. We can't be sure Adventure Kay escaped alive from the Butt Monkeys of Doom, so following her to the Claw of Karnak may not be an option. We must therefore snatch her most valuable resources - Professor Cirrel and Mike, the Librarian - and get our answers from them."

"It's as good as done. All hail the Wolf Revolution!"

Howls from the dark ruins drifted across the night sky, and any fur listening would have sworn something was about to satisfy its need for blood.

Either that, or it had stubbed its toe really badly.

-----------------------------

Maxx lowered his binoculars, and spat out a soggy cigar before chomping down on a fresh one.

"If ya wanna be sneaky, you guys really ought to knock off the 'Mwhahah' stuff. Any fur can pick that up a mile away."

Maxx put away the binoculars, pulled out a battered Palm Pilot and quickly began typing a message to Kayngi.

"I'm sure CW is back. He and DW are in the fake ruins west of Chit-in-yer-Britches - a supposedly haunted Mayan temple near here. You contact me before you tangle with CW. Signed, Maxx."

Maxx thought a bit and typed some more.

"I mean it. Contact me the moment you get in, even if it's late, Dr. Kayngi. Maxx out."

Maxx hit the send button and settled back to watch the ruins and wait for a reply.

-----------------------

In the bowels of the fake ruins, a security scanner picked up a nearby signal, and promptly forgot most of it before recording it. Seems it had some faulty memory. The rat monitoring the machines noted the beep and pressed the 'play function. The broken message caused him to Chit-in-his-Britches.

"I'm...... back..... to..... haunt.... you..... CW. Signed..... the..... late Dr. Kayngi..."

--------------------------

Cirrel - the adventure continues...

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Luxo
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 03, 2004 1:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

That...was...GREAT!

Totally GREAT! I laughed so hard my parents thought it was some sort of epileptical attack!

"The Kolonel growled. "Stupid rats! No matter!" He yanked off the fake Claw of Karnak, tossed it aside, and replaced it with his own. "I have other means of transportation." He pressed a stud on is claw. "Go, go, gadget helicopter!""

Those ones were gold. Pure, shiny and expensive gold.

I'll look for the other ones!
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Tigermark
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 03, 2004 5:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

hahahaha! I love it when a garbled message moves the plot along.

Oh, and Cateagle, you're okay too, for prop jockey, LOL


Tigermark (having more fun than a tiger should be allowed to have Laughing )

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Cateagle
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 03, 2004 12:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tigermark wrote:
Oh, and Cateagle, you're okay too, for prop jockey, LOL


*Chuckle* What makes you think I can only fly props? They're the bread and butter of my operation, but.... Wink

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Kayngi
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 03, 2004 5:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I'm gonna haunt you, CW! Mwahahahaha!
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Cirrel
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 03, 2004 9:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Adventure Kay and the Claw of Karnak

--------------------

17. Morning Coffee

The morning sun was well up when Maxx finally flew back into the Got-Amala airport in his old bi-plane. He parked his ride and immediately spotted Kayngi with another feline male. At the sight, he felt the fur on the back of his neck stand up, and smiled at the automatic reaction to another male horning in on his 'territory'. Kayngi was no more anyone's 'territory' that the wind was.

"Rrrrrrrowww! What a lady!" he purred to himself, and walked over to them.

"Hello!" yelled Kayngi. Then she was hugging him. "So nice to see you again. We hit a hotel as soon as we got in, so we're rested up and raring to go, but how about you?"

"Heh. Couldn't sleep after I got your message, so I came in. I admit, I was a bit tired until I spied you. Now, I'm up for anything!"

Kay looked down between them. "Hmm. Looks like you are glad to see me."

Maxx's eyes shot down to his pants, but they were still smooth. Then he grinned back at Kay. "You ought to know by now, that I'm the perfectly controlled gentlefur."

"Can't fault a girl for trying," she teased back. "By the way, I have a new plane!" She pointed behind her. "It's a HSAC Kitsune. Good bush plane."

Maxx eyed the aircraft carefully before turning back to Kay.

"And what's wrong with my Sopwith Buffalo?" he said, with mock hurt.

"Nothing much, Maxx," replied Kayngi, "except that it sucks gas, leaks oil, throws rods, cracks gaskets, blows tires, drops pontoons, loses wing fabric, leans to the right, can't take off with a load, and when landing on water, sinks a lot. Oh, and it smokes even worse than you do."

"Okay, but what's wrong with it?"

Cateagle chuckled. "Sounds like you're my kind of pilot - ever loyal." He held out a paw. "By the way, I'm Cateagle, the Kitsune driver. Kayngi's told me all about your adventures with the Mellon Idol. Sounds like you've got a story or two worth hearing."

Maxx grinned and shook the proffered paw. "Maybe I can tell you a few over coffee. You'll have ta try the coffee while your here. Got-Amala coffee is the best in the world."

"Not Gollum-bian coffee?"

"That sludge?" cried Maxx, incredulous. "Might as well be drinking mud from the bottom of the Stinkhole River up by 'Chit-in-yer-Britches'. Looks like I got some coffee educating to do."

"And while you're at it, you can tell me where to find the Boottadaheadouch Temple", added Kay.

"That old dump?" repied Maxx. "Okay, but I think you'll be disappointed if that's what you've come for."

"We'll see," said Kay, and they all headed for Got-Amala City.

----------------------------------------------

Mike, sipped the coffee a new cheetah employee of the museum had bought them and looked around the artifact display room before turning back to professor Cirrel.

"So, you're saying Professor Drama Derry wanted to meet you here to get your thoughts on his latest revision of 'B.C. Barbie Toots Bill Clintstone's Horn - A History of Prehistoric Political Cave-Wall Satire'. He told me he called this meeting because the book was done, and he wanted to submit it to the Library."

Cirrel shrugged and took a gulp of his own coffee. "Maybe he figured he could wrap up the last revision with me and then give it to you. You know - kill two nerds with one tome."

Mike winced. "Ouch. That was bad, even by Professor Derry's standards. Honestly, how did our newest faculty member ever get a PhD? He still thinks 'The Rat in the Hat' is profound literature. I don't know. This whole thing smells like the toilet at the Snoot Full. If I didn't know any better, I'd swear...."

But he never finished. Suddenly, the Librarian and the Professor were both sleeping peacefully on the floor.

"Too easy," muttered Cutter Long, as he emerged from the shadows.

"The job's not over, yet. We aren't back at headquarters," said the camel next to him.

"True. So, let's package them for transport and head out."

15 minutes later, a cheetah and a camel, each with a bundle slung over their shoulders, were following the dotted lion.

--------------------------------

Morning light filtered through the dirty glass of the radio agent's office and dotted the messy desk. Pigeon Toad rustled his warty wings and tossed back the dregs of his coffee.

"I tell ya PR, baby," croaked the Toad at a rabbit in the doorway, "Your radio show is headed for the crapper! You need ta do something to pull in the listeners or the Holy Moly Hour is gonna be the Totally Moldy Hour. You need a new angle. This 'Exorcism of the Week' idea I just put together is just the ticket!"

"Ah don' know, Toad," said Pat Rabbitson. "Exorcism sounds lot lak 'Circumcision', an tehts jess not raht!"

"Look, you can do a disclaimer. Make sure the audience knows the difference between Spookin' the Spirits and Chopin' the Chicken."

"Ah still don' know. Whar's thuh fust place I'd be doin' this here 'exorcism' stuff?"

"A haunted Mayan temple called 'Chit-in-yer-Britches'. It's in the Yucky-Tan peninsula just northwest of Canned-Coon. Ya know, the town with all the drunk ring-tails?"

"Canned-Coon is a vile den of iniquity! Poisoned bah thuh Potion of the Devil! Alkeehol! It's everawhar, ah tell ya. Everawhar!"

"Forget Canned-Coon, PR! The sponsors are threatening to Can-Coon you if you don't raise your ratings! You need to make a decision whether you're going to 'Chit-in-yer-Britches' or not."

The rabbit raised its paws to heaven "Yea, though Ah hop through the valley of the shadow of dread sponsors, I usually fear no evil, but now Ah'm jes a mizzable soul lost in the wilderness. What do Ah do, Lord? Gimme a SIGN!"

A rat janitor pushed past the rabbit. "Ey, boss! Where joo wan dis new sign for da chitter?"

The evangelist stared.

"IT'S A MERKLE!"

The rat chit its britches.

----------------------------------------------

Cirrel

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Cirrel
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 04, 2004 2:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A little art to go with the story.
----------------------------
Cirrel

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Tigermark
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 04, 2004 3:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Great Cirrel! Y'know, I don't know if it's ever been said, but which type of feline are you, Kayngi? From the pics, I'd say a cougar, but that's just me.

Tigermark

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elMaxx
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 04, 2004 11:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Cirrel: As always, excellent work! and thanks for sharing.

TM: She's originally a Sholan, an alien feline race...

so, generic kitties do work Very Happy and since she's not based on a certain class of feline... well... just go nuts drawing Smile

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Kayngi
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 04, 2004 6:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yep yep. Sholan, that's me! We're a fun race. Here's the website for the books that Sholans are from if you'd like more info on the books (shameless plug) http://www.sholan-alliance.org/ Thought it hasn't been updated in quite awhile.

Here's one for the author. http://www.sff.net/people/lisanne/index.html

And of course, the Official Fan Club site (another shameless plug, hey, i'm an admin there lol) http://pub101.ezboard.com/bthebrotherhoodofvartra

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