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Oey... Did I write that?? (General musing)

 
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hikaru
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 15, 2003 2:20 am    Post subject: Oey... Did I write that?? (General musing) Reply with quote

While working on the next chapter, I'd decided to do some reading up on Act 2 to make sure I had my facts straight. Looking back, I am once again reminded about how far I've come as an author. The first thing I noticed about Ch 1 of Act 2 was that I had a bad case of the "ing's". That's where the first word of each sentence or paragraph ended with "ing". Looking, standing, walking, reaching, etc. It's all right to use them once in a while, but not sentence after sentence. Although I had a much-improved grasp of writing over what I had in Act 1, I now see so many tremendous flaws in the story that I want to crumple up the paper and toss it away.

I also realized how much feeling I put into that early part of the story. When I'd started writing Sheila in Act I, I'd taken bits and pieces of various people I knew as a basis for her personality and then let it grow from there. I can see now that I didn't make her anywhere near aggressive enough on many levels as well as making her too restrained in others. This is a woman who’d run with the packs. I don’t think she would have been as skittish about guns and such as she was in Act 3. I also don’t think she’d have been as meek or guilty about having cheated on Arden with Bjorn. Of course, that’s all part of the learning process for writing a story.

At the beginning of Act 2, I really did start to redefine the character of Sheila. Now making her a male, the character started to truly develop as an individual while at the same time, trying to write Arden wrapping his brain around becoming female altered how I processed writing a female.

I was further surprised by the emotions that came forth when re-reading how Arden got drunk, the train of thought, as well as the feelings of angst and isolation. Although I remember it being moving when I wrote it, I didn’t expect such a strong reaction after all this time. The same with the following scenes where she was captured, raped, tortured and eventually committed suicide. I wonder if all writers run into things like this when re-reading their old works. Then again, how many writers bother to re-read old stuff?

Why am I posting this? Why not? I have a livejournal that I use for ramblings like this, but how many people read that? I figure blogs like this belong on the message board/fan club as much as they do anywhere else.

Discussion and comments are always welcome.

Cheers

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Smoky Joe
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Joined: 13 Nov 2003
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 15, 2003 3:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think that the personality changes are the most integral part of the story. I mean, that's what makes this story good - it's one of the few stories where the characters are truly changed by their experience. Yeah, Shiela was jumpy around guns, yeah, she was shy and composed around Arden at the start, but all the stuff that she's been through, there's got to be some things that change as a result. Also, while in Arden's body, Shiela was under the dragon's influence, because the dragon's power had been connected to the body. Just look at Arden to see how that power can really screw with a person's head.
The most irritating stories out there are the ones where the characters don't grow or change as traumatic events happen to them. I'd say that randomly jumping through dimensions, killing yourself (or watching your mate kill themself), being brought back to life twice (or bringing your mate back to life twice), and other events, are all pretty traumatic. If these characters weren't seriously impacted, the story would have been just another action/adventure movie written out.

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Hortmage
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Joined: 28 Oct 2001
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 15, 2003 8:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree with Smoky Joe -- the characters have definitely grown and changed over time. And, to quote Martha Stewart: "It's a good thing!"

I haven't reread the entire story in a while, but now that you mention it, I had noticed some interesting changes in Sheila. Her timidity and actions in Book 1 were very consistent with the mental image I had built up about her (from Zig Zag and other Sabrinaverse stories). Book 2 wasn't too bad, either; her attitude and actions could be consistent with the unexpected gender change, as well as the change to fur-less creature.

Starting in Book 3, though, Sheila becomes a Wonder Warrier. She's become a bad-ass, with a nasty temper (here-to-for unseen...at least at this level) and impressive fighting instincts and skills. The temper was explained away as part of the spell cast by one of the Big Boys (Lakosh? Satan? I don't remember). The skills could be partly attributed to the enchanted armor and swords (+5 Kitana of Vixenly Might?). But I seem to recall Sheila having unexpected canniness in dealing with enemies (like the magician).

I think Book 3, in general, began some major inconsistencies. The writing was much, much better, but the skills and history Sheila suddenly acquires (running with packs, etc) definitely runs contrary to what I expected of her, and what went on before. Rather than rewrite Books 1 and 2, I might tone down some of the new history in Book 3, to keep it consistent with what went on before.

Just my 2 pence...

All in all, though, IC is an extremely fascinating and compelling story. I'll continue to be an avid reader, regardless of which way you go with it!

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hikaru
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 15, 2003 11:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hortmage wrote:
Starting in Book 3, though, Sheila becomes a Wonder Warrier. She's become a bad-ass, with a nasty temper (here-to-for unseen...at least at this level) and impressive fighting instincts and skills. The temper was explained away as part of the spell cast by one of the Big Boys (Lakosh? Satan? I don't remember). The skills could be partly attributed to the enchanted armor and swords (+5 Kitana of Vixenly Might?). But I seem to recall Sheila having unexpected canniness in dealing with enemies (like the magician).


That's explained in the next chapter, which should be up tomorrow. (It’s at the editor.)

Hortmage wrote:
I think Book 3, in general, began some major inconsistencies. The writing was much, much better, but the skills and history Sheila suddenly acquires (running with packs, etc) definitely runs contrary to what I expected of her, and what went on before. Rather than rewrite Books 1 and 2, I might tone down some of the new history in Book 3, to keep it consistent with what went on before.


Sheila's running with the pack is actually based on the background that Eric gave her and Tammy. I forget where I read it, but I know it was in one of his portfolios. One of the big problems with Act 1 was that I didn't have a fully fleshed out idea of what Sheila was all about. It's been decades since I studied psych in college and, frankly, my memory isn't what it used to be.

Sheila's personality was supposed to be the kind who sought favor by giving their body to whoever they seek approval from. Looking back now, I see that she should have been more sexually aggressive with Arden, not shy. She's a porn actress and there are no taboo's about sex for her. I realize now that she shouldn't have been so timid with Arden in the beginning.

At least, that's what I think now that I look back on it.

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hikaru
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Joined: 20 Nov 2000
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Location: Kansas City, KS, USA

PostPosted: Sat Nov 15, 2003 11:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mike Regan wrote:
I myself have not read it but Hikaru has advised me of a rewrite to fix a problem in Act II chapter 3.

You can find the new chapter on his site and it has also been changed on the Bookshelf.


It was simply a mislabling of someone... I referred to Sheila at the bar as Arden when it was Arden watching him.....

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