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Fire On High
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Tigermark
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Joined: 18 Apr 2003
Posts: 787
Location: Hopkinsville, KY

PostPosted: Fri Nov 07, 2003 4:22 pm    Post subject: Fire On High Reply with quote

Chapter 1 is up, let me know what you think!


Tigermark

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The Silver Coyote
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Joined: 09 Nov 2003
Posts: 461
Location: The hills above Orange County, California

PostPosted: Sun Nov 09, 2003 12:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Great bow, Tigermark!

I already don't like Jefferson Mastifson (I will not do a disservice to all the wonderful furs in uniform by even referring to his "rank").

It seems there's going to be a lot of wonderful "backfilling" in the future, to explain some things. One that jabbed me in the eye was the quick reminiscence (sp?) about Greg. Seemed to be a lot more hanging on that than "just" the untimely death of a friend.

Another one that grabbed and held my attention was Tasha. I'm already preparing myself for the worst, when those two part in a few months. Saying goodbye is never easy, especiallyto a fur that looks as good as she does.

More flying! Let's turn the world upside down, buddy!

I eagerly await succeeding chapters <tongue out, panting>

SC

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Tigermark
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 18, 2003 7:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Chapter 2 is up and running.

TM

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The Silver Coyote
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 30, 2003 10:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

OK, even my nose is begining to turn blue, I've been holding my breath for so long. Where's chapter three???

<grins while poking tiger in the ribs>

SC

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Tigermark
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 17, 2004 6:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Is it really a good idea to poke a tiger in the ribs? Wink LOL

Chapter 3 is up and running !

TM

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The Silver Coyote
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 17, 2004 12:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What a chapter! The backs of my paws are wet from having to wipe my eyes so much!

The scene where Alex is informed of his brother's death is quite moving in it's simplicity. I don't know any other way to word that. There's not a lot of gush or verbosity, yet the simple prayer Captain Freelander offers, followed by his parting comment, brought tears to my eyes. The significance of Alex' faith is brought out emphatically, without drilling between the reader's eyes with it. Most effective.

The scene where Alex is talking to his father brought many family memories to mind. There's a lot of that "old school" ideology prevalent in my family, especially on my mom's (the 100% Mexican) side. Some of it was passed down to me, some didn't make it. Like Alex, I could probably count all the times my father's said "I love you" in the past thirty years on one hand. I know he does, we have a wonderful relationship together, but there's some macho thing at work there. I can say that to him when my mom's in the room, but when it's just "the boys" there seems to be some plane of emotional finality past which we don't normally venture. I'm not saying if that situation is right or wrong, good or bad, just that I understand perfectly what Alex felt during that conversation.

I enjoy the little glimpses into the solidity and depth with which Alex' family has taken Jesus into their lives.

The point in the scene where Alex yells at Billy about facts seemed a bit sudden. Understandable in the context, Alex is losing his last vestigial grip on his own grief momentarily as Billy relates the crash scene video. On the other hand, the comment from Billy following Alex' outburst was dead on target and well deserved, and Alex' recovery and apology is perfect.

The parting of Tasha and Alex hurt. Tasha seems too good a fur to pass by in that way. However, grief tends to garble one's emotions, whether your own or someone else's. I hope to see more of her down the line. She seems like a marvelous feline.

I like the "message from beyond" dream. I hope that is developed some time down the story line.

The first meet with Killian is an interesting change of pace. I also enjoyed the workout. Sounds like Alex' claws are something to stay away from!

The funeral scene must have been painful to write. It certainly brought the tears back to my eyes. Why is Alex so wracked with guilt? Jason sounded the strong, self-motivated and self-driven fur. Maybe he initially got the notion to fly for his country from Alex, but nobody held a gun to his head. Why is Alex internalizing this so much?

The second meeting with Killian seemed to end abruptly. Will we see more of her? I like the history you've already put behind her. I always identify with the (marginally) reformed wild things.

I had and have the same reaction to Amazing Grace, especially on the pipes. I don't even need to be at a funeral. That song tears me up. I cry when I hear it in church.

The final scene with Sergeant Gustafson is illuminating. It seems clipped and short, but then I don't know any New Yorkers. Perhaps that's their normal delivery. Maybe the sergeant is apprehensive about relating this information?

All in all, a first class read, Tigermark. Some foreshadowing of things to come, some things for us to think about while we wait patiently for chapter four to take a bow. Well done!

My two credits worth. And who said coyotes weren't talkative?

SC

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Nameless
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 17, 2004 4:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Surprised Pretty good and emotional Crying or Very sad read.
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Cirrel
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Joined: 29 Mar 2003
Posts: 265
Location: 400 miles north of everywhere

PostPosted: Sat Jan 31, 2004 7:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I had to pace myself with this chapter. Funerals are always tough (been to too many). Your depiction was very well done, as well as the scenes leading up to it. I liked the brief discussion with the sargent at the very last. It sets the expectations and anticipations for chapter 4. Something is not right here and all eyes are focused on Alex and Mastifson.

Cirrel - Staying tuned.

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Tigermark
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 12, 2004 3:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Chapter 4 is up and linked on The Tiger's Den for your perusal. Thanks all!



TM

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The Silver Coyote
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 13, 2004 7:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow Tigermark, another great chapter!

I liked the flying in the beginning of the chapter. I got the impression that Alex derived a lot from the mechanics of flying, he seemed to have some inner peace working in spite of what he'd just been through. The earth and it's troubles always seem somewhat remote when you're airborne, especially if you're in command of the aircraft. Troubles seem to fade as the gear tucks up, eh?

I was simultaneously pleased and troubled by Alex' meeting with Tasha. Pleased that she was there to meet him (how *did* she do that?), but saddened by their immediate agreement that there was no chance for them as a couple, other than friends. The scene at the end reinforced this, and I was quite frustrated by it. Tasha seems such a great companion to him, at least from what we've seen.

The scene with Andrew tripping Tia sounded like you've actually seen that happen... <grin>

I'm troubled by General Boyd. I realize that there is a lot of politics in the military, but I find it difficult to imagine a General in the Air Force knowingly putting some of his fine aviators in harm's way by allowing Mastifson to stay at his post. Boyd knows about Mastifson's order to Jason, knows that Jason voiced strong reservations about the takeoff as ordered, yet is allowing Mastifson to basically stay on, thus jeopardizing the rest of the aircrew in his squadron. I think my opinion of General Boyd is not too good...

I thoroughly enjoyed the scene between Scatcat and Ice. The occasional reference to physical activity (twitching tails, facial nuances) did much to highlight the scene and make it very "viewable" in my minds eye. The characters are very real, and the depth of their friendship is very evident here. Well done.

There was a pang of heartbreak in the final scene with Tasha, for me at least. So many things unanswered and incomplete! You're a real literary tease, you know that? It's good that Alex can relax and be comfortable with her. What is it about them that neither of them can see this developing into anything more than it already has?

I'm looking forward to chapter five and what it brings us.

SC

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Tigermark
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 14, 2004 5:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

as to General Boyd, He is not in Mastifson's chain of command. Investigations of this sort are supposed to be "independent". The General is an associate of Mastifson's uncle, though. He's being "pressured" to find a way to keep Mastifson's record clean. Mastifson's current CO is the Akita named Barnes we hear of at the funeral. The descision about Mastifson's command abilities will be made by his CO.

Tigermark.

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Aramis Dagaz
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2004 2:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very nice story Tigermark.

You've definitely captured what it feels like to be in the Air Force. Having been an Air Force brat for 18 years and an AFROTC cadet for 2, this story brings back a lot of memories, especially living in Germany (though a fighter pilot who doesn't drink, that's new to me Wink ). And I know what Alex and Tasha are going through. You find a good friend, and before you know it, somebody's got new orders. 'Tis life in the military.

The funeral scene also brings back a couple of sad memories as well. Both of my grandfathers received a burial with military honors, and listening to Taps and the 21-gun salute with the Missing Man formation overhead is enough to tear a fur's heart to pieces, even during Veterans' Day and Memorial Day. I always think that it's such a waste to lose a good servicemember in circumstances resulting from someone's stupidity (especially if it's CO's who should know better). "Amazing Grace" on bagpipes is beautiful, but completely unfair to anyone trying to maintain a small shred of composure.

Very well written story, Tigermark. I can't wait for the next chapter.

On a side note, an Army badger Sergeant Major is very appropriate. Laughing

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Tigermark
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2004 7:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

OK guys and gals, (if I have any gals as readers, lol) Chapter 6 is up for your commentary.


Tigermark

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SkunkFox
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2004 7:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hiya TM, err did you know your hairs on fire again?
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Tigermark
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 22, 2004 2:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

*Sniff, sniff* Oh, no problem Skunky. *Douses hair with glass of water*

Funny, it usually only does that when I'm going Mach 2.


Tigermark

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