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New work in progress...

 
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How is it?
I like it!
44%
 44%  [ 4 ]
It could use some work...
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
I need to see more...
44%
 44%  [ 4 ]
I hate it....damn terrorists, they're just terrible things, no need to know why they do what they do
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
You're a terrible writer, get out of Planetfurry...
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Pudding!!
11%
 11%  [ 1 ]
Total Votes : 9

Author Message
whiterabbit
Site Owner
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Joined: 16 Jul 2002
Posts: 200
Location: Portland, Oregon! Ya dingus!

PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2003 1:16 am    Post subject: New work in progress... Reply with quote

Yeah, lately my muse has been playing with me, giving me new idea for stories, while not giving me new ideas for my old stories. She is laughing with an insane glee somewhere around here. Anyway, this little excerpt was something I came up with during a break at work. I had to beg my boss for a peice of paper and a pencil before I started, though. Anyway, here it is, feedback is welcome.


They said it took less than a second. In less than the time it takes to breathe it was over, thousands upon thousands of lives gone forever. The survivors would be left asking them selves Why? for years to come. This is not the story of those who survived, nor is it the story of those who died. This is the story of the one who committed this heinous act. Whether he was right or wrong is not the object here. Reader beware, to continue this story is to question the things that make us human. We will be examining the origins of cruelty and the story of an act of terrorism. Beware, if your personality is so shallow as to believe that the story of this man has not happened or that this does not happen every day, then perhaps you should not read on, because this will shatter everything you have ever believed. This will not be a pretty story, nor will it have a happy ending, but hopefully, by the end, you will be more aware of the cruelty that we exact on each other in our lives, and the blind eye that we turn towards it.

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Pat The Fox
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Joined: 06 Jun 2002
Posts: 734
Location: Great White North

PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2003 1:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You just had to put pudding and I culdn't resist...damn my weakness...anyways for feedback it looks very much like a good story to go with, I'd like to see how it turns out.
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Elfen_Furry
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Joined: 18 Jun 2002
Posts: 2601
Location: NYC NY

PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2003 6:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My muse used to tease me a lot until I got sick and tired of it and handcuffed her to the keyboard once and for all.

I hate it when she feeds me fragmented stuff, and I wont accept it any lnger from her!

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RealDesertFox
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Joined: 09 Oct 2002
Posts: 503

PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2003 9:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I like it so far, and I would like to see more. Too bad I couldnt vote for both.

BTW: What kind of pudding?
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Solis
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Joined: 03 Feb 2003
Posts: 530
Location: Mississauga, Ontario, Canada

PostPosted: Mon Apr 14, 2003 10:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It seems quite interesting. I, for one, would like to see more...
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whiterabbit
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Joined: 16 Jul 2002
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Location: Portland, Oregon! Ya dingus!

PostPosted: Tue Apr 15, 2003 8:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I can show more. This is the full part of what I wrote, the preview. I'm also currentlky working on the first chapter. It will more than likely be a pretty short story, about 20 pages or something.

They said it took less than a second. In less than the time it takes to breathe it was over, thousands upon thousands of lives gone forever. The survivors would be left asking them selves Why? for years to come. This is not the story of those who survived, nor is it the story of those who died. This is the story of the one who committed this heinous act. Whether he was right or wrong is not the object here. Reader beware, to continue this story is to question the things that make us human. We will be examining the origins of cruelty and the story of an act of terrorism. Beware, if your personality is so shallow as to believe that the story of this man has not happened or that this does not happen every day, then perhaps you should not read on, because this will shatter everything you have ever believed. This will not be a pretty story, nor will it have a happy ending, but hopefully, by the end, you will be more aware of the cruelty that we exact on each other in our lives, and the blind eye that we turn towards it.

Eyes of Pain (working title)

The man read the words he himself had written, his eyes slowly tracing over the words as he read down the page. The letter was not a threat, nor was it a good-bye letter to loved ones. It was merely a statement, a letter of caution to those who would survive. No...it was a warning, but not a warning to the would-be victims. They would have to pay. They would have to be his voice. The voice that people never listened to. It was a warning to the survivors; a message to never let this happen again. He knew that killing people was wrong, and he didn't think of himself as a psychopath. He knew right from wrong. But in this case he knew that he would have to be wrong in order to be heard...

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~Sammie the Pizza Box

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Anyone who calls themselves normal is either a fascist or a liar.
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