Planetfurry BBS

Cookie · Posted: Tue Mar 08, 2011 12:48 pm Post subject: I need some serious advice.

Here, read through this emo thread of mine-

http://www.planetfurry.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=11131

So I'm leaving, I'm not, I am, I'm not... In out and around. As you can see I'm arguing with myself.

Here's what I need from you. I have reached a serious mental breaking point. Does anybody here have any advice on how to mellow out from extreme stress?

I'm not kidding. I'm slipping back into a very real and frightening mental condition I haven't dealt with since I was a teen. I won't go into too much detail but I will say that I am not making it up. I'm having some real trouble here.

I really need an injection of happy before I do something really stupid. Could hurt myself, could be somebody else.

Need zen. What can I do?

tobi3B · Posted: Tue Mar 08, 2011 1:05 pm Post subject:

OK I know what you mean Cookie
my first advice is to reflect why you are slipping in that mental state
I mean there must be something that bugs you think it through and talk with your friends/familie about it to get differrent views than take some time for yourself go for a walk or visit the cinema and take a breather from all and I mean all
after that you should look and see if your vision cleared up
Hope that helps a bit
and here is something for a good smirk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHFrMz6ELHo&feature=player_embedded

Cookie · Posted: Tue Mar 08, 2011 1:17 pm Post subject:

I will see what I can do. Thank you. :3

Rabbit · Posted: Wed Mar 09, 2011 6:05 am Post subject:

I'm no therapist, but it strikes me how much you seem to look to others for happiness and self-validation. Perhaps it might help you to consider that perhaps the only one you _really_ need to please is yourself. Or perhaps not-- again, I'm no therapist.

Cookie · Posted: Wed Mar 09, 2011 9:11 am Post subject:

Aslaug · Posted: Wed Mar 09, 2011 2:44 pm Post subject:

A wise person once said to me:

"The three most difficult words for a human being to say, contrary to popular belief, is not "I love you," but "Please, help me!"

We all want to be self sustaining. We all want to be the big, bad alpha who can take on the world and charge it, head on and knock it out without breaking a sweat.

The sad truth is, Cookie, few of us work that way. I, for my part, have gone many, many years ... most of my life ... having no self esteem and no self confidence. This has taught me the difference between the two things. These days, I have loads of self confidence, because I have accomplished things that I have received loads of positive feedback on, but I still have no ... or only very little ... self esteem.

I don't LIKE myself.

I doubt I ever will, and I doubt I'll ever understand what it is others like about me, even though many have tried to explain it to me.

What I've learned is ... I don't need to know. I really don't. And neither do you, because believe me ... you are unlikely to ever understand it. Not because you don't want to know, because you clearly do, as do I. But people like you and me generally do not understand this kind of thing.

What we need to do us accept that people like us.

And that is good enough. You ARE liked. People here think the world of your antics. You're fun, your whacky, you're off-colour ... what's not to like? And no, don't answer that. What matters is that people like those like you and me, who can't see why, regardless of how many times it's explained. We can't understand because we are simply do not believe these positive things that people say about us. We say "Thank you" and "How nice of you" ... and deep in our hearts, we don't honestly believe a word of it.

But we don't have to like us. As long as others do. And they do.

You've asked for help. That takes a lot of strength. A LOT ... probably more than you think.

And for that you have my respect.

Syrius · Posted: Wed Mar 09, 2011 3:50 pm Post subject:

While I echo Rabbit's thoughts that validation from others is not what you should be looking for, I have to tell you the times we have crossed words, you came off as a fun person to talk to. Hope that helps a little.

Cookie · Posted: Wed Mar 09, 2011 7:46 pm Post subject:

Aslaug: Those are some very accurate and provoking words man. I took that to heart.

Syrius: Really? I always thought I came off as a jerk.

Rabbit · Posted: Wed Mar 09, 2011 8:26 pm Post subject:

Alexi · Posted: Thu Mar 10, 2011 8:21 am Post subject:

Cookie, I've never met you in person but from here, I have come to respect you very much. I will look into some of my meditations and writings to see what I can dig up for you to try. I will also consult a few of my wife's bhudist texts as well.

Hopefully one of us here can help you find what you need to get where you need to go.

The Silver Coyote · Posted: Sat Mar 12, 2011 6:24 pm Post subject:

I know where you're at, Cookie. Stress is my constant companion these days, and I could tell you a hundred ways to deal with it that do not work. I've tried 'em, and am still struggling with a few.

My best advice: listen to Aslaug. I don't have the words to describe her level and depth of real world knowledge on this particular subject, but I can guarantee that she has lived and dealt with where we are. She has helped me in more ways than I even fully realize.

She's a god fur, as you are. Enough said. Keep plugged in. You have common ground here. Drop me a PM if the notion strikes you.

SC