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The BioCobra Registered User
Joined: 11 Aug 2010 Posts: 138 Location: Weymouth, England
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Posted: Wed Nov 10, 2010 1:52 pm Post subject: Joining the ALN/ALS club |
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Hey all.
A while back, I mentioned I'd done a story based in the ALN/ALS setting. Well, I'm now going to post it up here and see what you all think.
It is the first short story in what I'm calling my 'Of Fallen Angels' saga. Aslaug has read through it herself and thinks its all well and good. This story is considered canon to the ALN/ALS setting by our dear filly. Now, I don't have any proof-readers, so it may have some mistakes.
Anyway, the link is included in this post (in PDF form only, I'm afraid). Please read it and let me know what you think of it. _________________ "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of [fur]kind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." — Dave Barry |
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Kellan Meig'h Administrator
Joined: 01 Apr 2007 Posts: 2045 Location: Just East of Indianapolis, Indiana
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Posted: Thu Nov 11, 2010 1:38 am Post subject: |
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Very good!
. . . now if we just knew his real name . . .
Kel _________________ "Старый боевой конь, Кeллан" |
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The BioCobra Registered User
Joined: 11 Aug 2010 Posts: 138 Location: Weymouth, England
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Posted: Thu Nov 11, 2010 3:12 am Post subject: |
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Ahh, I can't tell you that yet, Kellan. I'm keeping it as a treat for later... _________________ "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of [fur]kind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." — Dave Barry |
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Frazikar Registered User
Joined: 25 Jan 2008 Posts: 1181 Location: North Coast, USA
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Posted: Thu Nov 11, 2010 9:36 am Post subject: |
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Good thing it was a private conversation...(or has he just made a deal easier?) |
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The BioCobra Registered User
Joined: 11 Aug 2010 Posts: 138 Location: Weymouth, England
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Posted: Thu Nov 11, 2010 2:34 pm Post subject: |
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Frazikar wrote: | Good thing it was a private conversation...(or has he just made a deal easier?) |
I'm not quite sure what you mean by that.
If you mean the conversation between Gabriel and Constantine, then whether it was private is up to question. I mean, despite Gabriel claiming to be there of her own accord, it's not really possible. She is a thrall of God, and she is ultimately doing what He wants... _________________ "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of [fur]kind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." — Dave Barry |
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Frazikar Registered User
Joined: 25 Jan 2008 Posts: 1181 Location: North Coast, USA
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Posted: Thu Nov 11, 2010 11:26 pm Post subject: |
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The filly knows (and a few others)... [this message will self-destruct in...] |
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The BioCobra Registered User
Joined: 11 Aug 2010 Posts: 138 Location: Weymouth, England
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Posted: Fri Nov 12, 2010 4:31 am Post subject: |
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Frazikar wrote: | The filly knows (and a few others)... [this message will self-destruct in...] |
*Has a think*
*Eyes widen*
This is about calling Aslaug a pony, isn't it? Well, I can't yet hear the sound of spiked horseshoes... _________________ "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of [fur]kind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." — Dave Barry |
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Aslaug Site Owner
Joined: 04 Jan 2005 Posts: 1861 Location: Slagelse, Denmark
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Posted: Fri Nov 12, 2010 9:59 am Post subject: |
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That's because I've padded them, in order to be able to sneak up on my victims! |
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Frazikar Registered User
Joined: 25 Jan 2008 Posts: 1181 Location: North Coast, USA
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Posted: Fri Nov 12, 2010 10:11 am Post subject: |
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(*peeks*)
Told ya the filly knows... |
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The BioCobra Registered User
Joined: 11 Aug 2010 Posts: 138 Location: Weymouth, England
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Posted: Fri Nov 12, 2010 1:00 pm Post subject: |
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*Stares at evil-grinning filly, eyes wider and mouth hanging open*
Oooooookaaaaaaayy...
*Clucks tongue and inhales deeply through gritted teeth*
No, I'm not running! I refuse to kowtow! "Now, if you'll forgive the rather confrontational imperative: Go for yer guns, ya scum-sucking molluscs!" _________________ "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of [fur]kind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." — Dave Barry |
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Kellan Meig'h Administrator
Joined: 01 Apr 2007 Posts: 2045 Location: Just East of Indianapolis, Indiana
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Posted: Fri Nov 12, 2010 3:02 pm Post subject: |
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The BioCobra wrote: | *Stares at evil-grinning filly, eyes wider and mouth hanging open*
Oooooookaaaaaaayy...
*Clucks tongue and inhales deeply through gritted teeth*
No, I'm not running! I refuse to kowtow! "Now, if you'll forgive the rather confrontational imperative: Go for yer guns, ya scum-sucking molluscs!" |
Me thinks you should have stated, "Get them (spiked) hooves a-stompin'!"
Maybe it won't hurt too bad . . . maybe not.
_________________ "Старый боевой конь, Кeллан" |
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Aslaug Site Owner
Joined: 04 Jan 2005 Posts: 1861 Location: Slagelse, Denmark
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Posted: Fri Nov 12, 2010 5:25 pm Post subject: |
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Well, I'm not going to punish YOU ... just the character who used the P-word |
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The BioCobra Registered User
Joined: 11 Aug 2010 Posts: 138 Location: Weymouth, England
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Posted: Fri Nov 12, 2010 6:26 pm Post subject: |
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Aslaug wrote: | Well, I'm not going to punish YOU ... just the character who used the P-word |
But of course, dear filly.
*Out of nowhere appears Constantine*
"Hey! I'm not the sort to kowtow either, so I'm not gonna let you so much as touch me for such a trivial slur. I'll call you what I damn well please!" _________________ "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of [fur]kind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." — Dave Barry |
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Aslaug Site Owner
Joined: 04 Jan 2005 Posts: 1861 Location: Slagelse, Denmark
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Posted: Sat Nov 13, 2010 12:51 am Post subject: |
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*patpats the birdy*
Well you see ... you've got a problem there. I'm The Writer, after all. The only force in fiction above the Gods themselves |
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The BioCobra Registered User
Joined: 11 Aug 2010 Posts: 138 Location: Weymouth, England
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Posted: Sat Nov 13, 2010 3:25 am Post subject: |
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*Constantine bares rare bird teeth*
"If you can call me a birdy, I can call you a pony. I like ponies. *Adopts Jeremy Clarkson voice* They're sweeeeet!"
*I step in and 'remove' Constantine from the situation*
Best get him out of here before he commits unintentional suicide. Besides, I am myself a writer. Not on your level of skill, but still a writer. And when two writers clash... Well, you know what they say. "The pen is mightier than the sword... as long as its a very short sword and a very sharp pen!"
Edit: For those who actually read my work, I would like it if some proper feedback came to me. I appreciate it if you say it's good, but I need some constructive criticism, and actual reasons for why something does or doesn't work. Thanks all! _________________ "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of [fur]kind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." — Dave Barry |
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