Planetfurry BBS Forum Index Planetfurry BBS
Forums for Planetfurry Site Members and more
 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   DonateDonate   RegisterRegister 
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 

SiasfL - Stranger in a strangely familiar Land - Act 1
Goto page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9  Next
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Planetfurry BBS Forum Index -> nameless
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Nameless
Site Owner
Site Owner


Joined: 06 Sep 2002
Posts: 1368
Location: Vienna, Austria

PostPosted: Thu Dec 19, 2002 2:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Embarassed Thanks for all the positive comments. Laughing

I don't want to sound ungrateful or anything, but ...
I'd really like to hear some comments / speculation on the story itself. So that I can gauge if I'm putting in enough hints on the things to come (or too many).
Some constructive critique, ...

Something to help me make the story better. Wink

_________________
I'm a nut, but there are those who appreciate me for it.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address
Nameless
Site Owner
Site Owner


Joined: 06 Sep 2002
Posts: 1368
Location: Vienna, Austria

PostPosted: Thu Dec 19, 2002 12:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Confused Hmmm, just reread my last post. I'm starting to sound like Rava. Shocked Confused Wink

Another trivia question:

What was the first hint that this ("me" & Sarah) was going to happen?

_________________
I'm a nut, but there are those who appreciate me for it.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address
Sslaxx
Registered User


Joined: 20 Nov 2000
Posts: 71
Location: Malvern, Worcs., UK

PostPosted: Thu Dec 19, 2002 2:37 pm    Post subject: Hints? Reply with quote

Nameless wrote:
Embarassed Thanks for all the positive comments. Laughing

I don't want to sound ungrateful or anything, but ...
I'd really like to hear some comments / speculation on the story itself. So that I can gauge if I'm putting in enough hints on the things to come (or too many).
Some constructive critique, ...

Something to help me make the story better. Wink


No hints. Explain the bare minimum for the story to make sense - let our brains make their own conclusions (you seem to be doing this already, though).

_________________
Stuart "Sslaxx" Moore.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger Skype Name
Nameless
Site Owner
Site Owner


Joined: 06 Sep 2002
Posts: 1368
Location: Vienna, Austria

PostPosted: Thu Dec 19, 2002 2:41 pm    Post subject: Re: Hints? Reply with quote

Sslaxx wrote:
No hints. Explain the bare minimum for the story to make sense - let our brains make their own conclusions (you seem to be doing this already, though).

Nah, I really like those special hints. Where you sit up in the night, two chapters later, and say "Yes, I could have seen that two chapters ago" Surprised Shocked

_________________
I'm a nut, but there are those who appreciate me for it.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address
Bearion
Registered User


Joined: 01 Jun 2002
Posts: 278
Location: Bay Area, California

PostPosted: Sat Dec 21, 2002 3:36 pm    Post subject: Re: Hints? Reply with quote

Sslaxx wrote:
No hints. Explain the bare minimum for the story to make sense - let our brains make their own conclusions

There is nothing wrong with "hints" done well. By hints, I mean pebbles along the way, not snowballs in the face. (Note to self: must get metaphor factory fixed)

Being blindsided in a story sometimes doesn't work either. It's a balance, and I prefer hints since it usually means the author has a plan for the story up front.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address Yahoo Messenger
Nameless
Site Owner
Site Owner


Joined: 06 Sep 2002
Posts: 1368
Location: Vienna, Austria

PostPosted: Sat Jan 18, 2003 3:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

So, I've finally managed to finish another chapter. Took me exactly one month. And I had already written more than half of it when I put up the last chapter, so don't expect the next one very soon. Confused

That was a very good week, as far as stories go. Hikaru, Galadrion, some others. And Concolor is finally back Very Happy and maybe we'll even get another chapter from him today. Laughing

Well, I'm waiting for comments and speculation. Shocked
Which stories did I refer to?

Anyway, have fun. Wink Rolling Eyes

_________________
I'm a nut, but there are those who appreciate me for it.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address
Nameless
Site Owner
Site Owner


Joined: 06 Sep 2002
Posts: 1368
Location: Vienna, Austria

PostPosted: Mon Jan 20, 2003 12:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sad
_________________
I'm a nut, but there are those who appreciate me for it.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address
Concolor
Registered User


Joined: 19 Nov 2001
Posts: 832
Location: South Carolina

PostPosted: Mon Jan 20, 2003 2:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I just finished reading chapter two.

Did I like it?

Yes.

Did I love it?

Most definitely.

I am sitting here in front of the monitor with this silly grin on my face. It's the same one that has been there for the last ten or fifteen minutes. It's the kind of grin you get from experiencing something new and twisty and cozy, something delightful and strange and yet familiar. And no, that doesn't make any sense, and no, I really don't care. That's what it did.

You, sir, are a wordsmith. This is a treat. Chris is reacting exactly -- EXACTLY, mind you -- as I have envisioned myself reacting in precisely that situation. Some of the little vignettes you've offered have given me something of a deja vu.

This is sweet and silly and melancholy and funny and tense and ... and achingly real. I keep getting these little chuckles, thinking, "Of course!" or "Yeah, that's how it would feel."

How'd you do that?

More! More! More! More! More!
More! More! More! More! More!
More! More! More! More! More!
More! More! More! More! More!

-- A slightly giddy Concolor

_________________
Oddly enough, my life is based on a true story. (Ashleigh Brilliant)
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
Tygon
Site Owner
Site Owner


Joined: 03 Apr 2001
Posts: 2497
Location: Isernhagen, Lowersaxony, Germany

PostPosted: Tue Jan 21, 2003 4:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just finished reading chapter 2...

Well, it is good, no question there...

but...

Yes, I unfortunately have a but. When Sarah is making breakfast in the kitchen she seems to be extremely at ease with Chris. Kinda strange, considering that she wouldn't even let him out of the bedroom without having her gun ready, isn't it?

But that's the only "complaint" I have.

What I find every interesting is that Chris knows the Sabrinaverse Stories. That should be good for some interesting conversation in the future (not to mention his possible reaction when he meets the character he has read about {imagine his tour though ZZ Studios of which I am sure that it will come Wink})

Writing wise I don't have any complaints at all. Great work there.

Keep on the good writing Smile

_________________
Tygon Panthera - name and species
www.planetfurry.com/~tygon/
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Nameless
Site Owner
Site Owner


Joined: 06 Sep 2002
Posts: 1368
Location: Vienna, Austria

PostPosted: Tue Jan 21, 2003 5:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very Happy

Tygon wrote:
Yes, I unfortunately have a but. When Sarah is making breakfast in the kitchen she seems to be extremely at ease with Chris.

I'm trying to be realistic, but when that comes in the way of a good story, then, well, reality looses.
Then again, she is not so much at ease with him, rather she is a little distracted. Smile

And, well, she is not really afraid of him, she is just very careful.
She was only afraid the first few minutes after he knocked on the door, but after that she was not quite ready to lower her guard intentionally. She might have done it in a few hours anyway, if that scene had not happened.

Actually having the gun (and threatening him with it) makes it more difficult to lower her guard, because she can't be sure if he behaves nicely because he IS nice or because he is just bidding his time.

_________________
I'm a nut, but there are those who appreciate me for it.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address
Tygon
Site Owner
Site Owner


Joined: 03 Apr 2001
Posts: 2497
Location: Isernhagen, Lowersaxony, Germany

PostPosted: Tue Jan 21, 2003 6:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nameless wrote:
I'm trying to be realistic, but when that comes in the way of a good story, then, well, reality looses.


Hmmm... Well, I see what you mean.

Nameless wrote:
Then again, she is not so much at ease with him, rather she is a little distracted. Smile


It still strikes me as a bit much but okay, I won't put the subject any further. After all, not story is perfect. I should know that.

Nameless wrote:
And, well, she is not really afraid of him, she is just very careful.
She was only afraid the first few minutes after he knocked on the door, but after that she was not quite ready to lower her guard intentionally. She might have done it in a few hours anyway, if that scene had not happened.


I see what Chris tried to do but it backfired BIG time. Basically it was a good idea but like the Expo 2000, the execution of the idea was lousy.

On the other paw it still had shown Sarah has seen that Chris doesn't want to do her any harm, even if she almost got a heart attack out of it.

I get the impression that they are getting comfortable with each other a bit fast, especially if one considers the "racial differences" but guess that could be concidered as a "Love on second (or third) sight" case Smile

Nameless wrote:
Actually having the gun (and threatening him with it) makes it more difficult to lower her guard, because she can't be sure if he behaves nicely because he IS nice or because he is just bidding his time.


That is true but unfortunately most time necessary. There is no optimal solution in such a case and this is about the best to choose.

BTW: I can't say if I would react like this if such a accidental dimensional transfer would happen to me but I think that I would be scared like a mouse on a cat convention.

_________________
Tygon Panthera - name and species
www.planetfurry.com/~tygon/
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Concolor
Registered User


Joined: 19 Nov 2001
Posts: 832
Location: South Carolina

PostPosted: Tue Jan 21, 2003 11:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tygon wrote:
BTW: I can't say if I would react like this if such a accidental dimensional transfer would happen to me but I think that I would be scared like a mouse on a cat convention.


Really? Serious? Naaahhhhhhh.....

I don't think so, not in my case anyway. Maybe I've ingested too much science fiction, but I believe that if I were in Chris' shoes (no, wait -- no shoes) in Chris' position, I'd be more at ease than he is. Heck, sometimes I almost expect something like that to happen. Very Happy

Or maybe just wish it would. Confused

_________________
Oddly enough, my life is based on a true story. (Ashleigh Brilliant)


Last edited by Concolor on Wed Jan 22, 2003 9:57 am; edited 1 time in total
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
Nameless
Site Owner
Site Owner


Joined: 06 Sep 2002
Posts: 1368
Location: Vienna, Austria

PostPosted: Wed Jan 22, 2003 1:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tygon wrote:
Nameless wrote:
Actually having the gun (and threatening him with it) makes it more difficult to lower her guard, because she can't be sure if he behaves nicely because he IS nice or because he is just bidding his time.

That is true but unfortunately most time necessary. There is no optimal solution in such a case and this is about the best to choose.

Well, probably the better way for her would have been to keep the gun hidden (in her back pocket) but ready and pull it out only when she actually feels threatened.

_________________
I'm a nut, but there are those who appreciate me for it.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address
Cateagle
Site Owner
Site Owner


Joined: 20 Nov 2000
Posts: 1004
Location: Ft. Worth, TX

PostPosted: Wed Jan 22, 2003 2:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Concolor wrote:
Tygon wrote:
BTW: I can't say if I would react like this if such a accidental dimensional transfer would happen to me but I think that I would be scared like a mouse on a cat convention.


Really? Serious? Naaahhhhhhh.....

I don't think so, not in my case anyway. Maybe I've ingested too much scinece fiction, but I believe that if I were in Chris' shoes (no, wait -- no shoes) in Chris' position, I'd be more at ease than he is. Heck, sometimes I almost expect something like that to happen. Very Happy

Or maybe just wish it would. Confused


You and me both, brother!. Wink

Cateagle
Who know's he's ingested way too much science fiction.

_________________
"But the wildest of all the wild animals was the Cateagle. He walked by himself and all places were alike to him."
-- With apologies to Rudyard Kipling
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
Nameless
Site Owner
Site Owner


Joined: 06 Sep 2002
Posts: 1368
Location: Vienna, Austria

PostPosted: Wed Jan 22, 2003 9:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

So I've posted the non-chapter.

Is it too evil Twisted Evil or not evil enough Mad ?

_________________
I'm a nut, but there are those who appreciate me for it.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Planetfurry BBS Forum Index -> nameless All times are GMT - 4 Hours
Goto page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9  Next
Page 2 of 9

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group