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Shout Out! (Skip on the Record)

 
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Elfen_Furry
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Joined: 18 Jun 2002
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 17, 2003 6:00 pm    Post subject: Shout Out! (Skip on the Record) Reply with quote

If you read it- let me know what you think here...

Easier for me to have it on a separate topic than to let it float around on a thread. Say what you want, and yes- I know its not a furry story, but an author must get the pulse of his readers somehow...

Like it, hate it, worship it, do as you like with it; just let me know!

I dont expect everyday praise and a living sacrifice- thats for those poor pacific islanders I got fooled.... OPPS- did that slip?

Mr. Green
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Elfen_Furry
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 17, 2003 6:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

added 12/17: 3 months and 10 chapters later... Damn, I'm way behind on the other stories... Well, lets see at what I get done before my hiatus this weekend...
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 22, 2003 6:54 am    Post subject: Re: Shout Out! (Skip on the Record) Reply with quote

Elfen_Furry wrote:
If you read it- let me know what you think here...

Mr. Green


It seems like a very nice idea, and it might be interesting to see where you're going with this.
The problem is your story seems to need more editing, accenting consistancy. You switch between tenses (past and present) in the same paragraph. It might be an attempt to differentiate between different plot lines/point of views, but I would recommend at least seperating them to different paragraphs. While it is hard to edit your own stuff, I'd wait a week or so, and then try to read it as critically as I can - you'll probably notice this way any errors you might have missed.

Yours,

The Israeli

(If you want to discuss this further, contact me at "uridavid at netvision dot net dot il)
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Elfen_Furry
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 31, 2003 1:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for the kind words and advice.
The story is basically been plotted out, and yes, I do have a tensing problem to deal with...

But right now, I'm on hiatus, and will offically return on 1/15...

Take care...

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Chris Regan
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Joined: 23 Jun 2001
Posts: 138
Location: Ridgecrest, Ca.

PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2004 9:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Elfen,

I'm working my paws off hope to have Chapter 13 & 14 up on the bookshelf site this weekend.

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Crystal Dragon Raccoon
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Elfen_Furry
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 21, 2004 11:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

No rush...
I got a large data-koss situation I'm trying to recover...

But many thanx on the help.

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Chris Regan
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 07, 2004 10:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Elfen_Furry wrote:
No rush...
I got a large data-koss situation I'm trying to recover...

But many thanx on the help.


Thats okay !

Sorry to take so long in answering, I terble whe it comes to answerin mail of any kind. Its just one thing that I have to work on.

Chapter 15 went up about a week ago it was good but I have Chapter 16 on my mind at this time you have some very interesting scenes in it and you gave it a bit of mystery.

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Chris Regan
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Joined: 23 Jun 2001
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Location: Ridgecrest, Ca.

PostPosted: Mon Jun 07, 2004 10:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Elfen_Furry wrote:
No rush...
I got a large data-koss situation I'm trying to recover...

But many thanx on the help.


Thats okay !

Sorry to take so long in answering, I terble whe it comes to answerin mail of any kind. Its just one thing that I have to work on.

Chapter 15 went up about a week ago it was good but I have Chapter 16 on my mind at this time you have some very interesting scenes in it and you gave it a bit of mystery.

I hope to have it up by or before Saturday

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Elfen_Furry
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 07, 2004 10:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

much thanks... Mr. Green
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Chris Regan
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Location: Ridgecrest, Ca.

PostPosted: Sun Nov 07, 2004 12:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi Elfen,

I got chapter 19 and read it it is good I did see much to be corrected but that was the first pass.

Bright Blessings and Happy Thanksgiving,

Chris

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