Planetfurry BBS Forum Index Planetfurry BBS
Forums for Planetfurry Site Members and more
 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   DonateDonate   RegisterRegister 
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 

Two new stories available at kinsfire.net

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Planetfurry BBS Forum Index -> kinsfire
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Kinsfire
Site Owner
Site Owner


Joined: 01 Nov 2001
Posts: 380
Location: Roselle, NJ

PostPosted: Sun Aug 10, 2003 11:37 pm    Post subject: Two new stories available at kinsfire.net Reply with quote

As that subject says, I've got two new ones available on my website.

They aren't furry. (Y'know, I think I'm the oddball of this group. I really have to think about it to write a furry story - I don't do it terribly naturally.)

They're also attempts at romance stories.

Personally, I think one of them is considerably better than the other one. Let me know if you can guess which one I prefer.

They're both a bit adult in nature, but other than a little language, and maybe some gratuitous descriptions, nothing too bad.

_________________
That which does not kill me probably hurt like a sonuvabitch.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address MSN Messenger
Galadrion
Registered User


Joined: 17 Aug 2001
Posts: 378
Location: Portland, Oregon

PostPosted: Mon Aug 11, 2003 12:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Grff. Well, I can get to "Rainy Days and Mondays", but not to the one apparently titled "2". I think your dropdown menus are regarding the first line as a title rather than a link, since I can't get to whichever mirror is listed first either.

Yes, I've read "Rainy Days and Mondays", and I rather like it. I'd like to see the other one, as well... (hint, hint!)

_________________
Galadrion - Member of the Longbottom 3.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website AIM Address Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
Kinsfire
Site Owner
Site Owner


Joined: 01 Nov 2001
Posts: 380
Location: Roselle, NJ

PostPosted: Mon Aug 11, 2003 11:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi there, boys and girls! Can you say "stupid HTML coding error"?

"BOZO CODER!"

I knew you could...

=============

This moment brought to you so that you might know that you can actually read it on my site, now.

_________________
That which does not kill me probably hurt like a sonuvabitch.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address MSN Messenger
Nameless
Site Owner
Site Owner


Joined: 06 Sep 2002
Posts: 1368
Location: Vienna, Austria

PostPosted: Mon Aug 11, 2003 1:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Shocked Interesting stories. Both of them. Embarassed So similar and yet so different. Rolling Eyes
_________________
I'm a nut, but there are those who appreciate me for it.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address
Cateagle
Site Owner
Site Owner


Joined: 20 Nov 2000
Posts: 1004
Location: Ft. Worth, TX

PostPosted: Mon Aug 11, 2003 1:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I rather liked both pieces. Very nice writing with a taste of my kind of humor. I'd rate "2" a touch higher, but both were quite enjoyable reads.

Cateagle

_________________
"But the wildest of all the wild animals was the Cateagle. He walked by himself and all places were alike to him."
-- With apologies to Rudyard Kipling
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
Galadrion
Registered User


Joined: 17 Aug 2001
Posts: 378
Location: Portland, Oregon

PostPosted: Mon Aug 11, 2003 4:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hm... Now, having read both of them, I feel I can adequately comment. From a technical standpoint, they both rate fairly highly - which is hardly surprising.

Oddly, from the comments above, I think I'm going to be in a minority with this... or at least, in disagreement with you, Kinsfire. While I can appreciate both (they are both excellent works, my friend), "Rainy Days and Mondays" appeals more to me. I'm not entirely sure why - this is an opinion which formed on a gut-reaction instinctual level, and is thus highly resistant to analysis - but it reached out and grabbed me quicker than "2" did.

It does occur to me, though, that if you were planning on expanding one piece or the other, and were asking which one it should be, I would probably say it should be "2". "Rainy Days and Mondays" has the feeling of being utterly self-contained, complete and finished as is. "2", by contrast, has more of a dynamic - it definitely changes between beginning and ending, and carries the implication that more changes are possible, and even inevitable. I guess that's probably the most expressable of the reasons my preferences crystalized the way they did... I have the feeling that the story doesn't end there, and I find myself thinking about what the rest of the story might be.

_________________
Galadrion - Member of the Longbottom 3.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website AIM Address Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
mwalimu
Registered User


Joined: 08 Nov 2002
Posts: 782
Location: Normal, IL

PostPosted: Mon Aug 11, 2003 4:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I found both to be very good and quite enjoyable. Of the two, I think I liked Rainy Days and Mondays a tad better, probably because the humor and a couple of the situations were a little more offbeat. Good writing!
_________________
mwalimu
My webpage -*-*- My LiveJournal
Badgers and mushrooms and snakes, oh my!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address
Kinsfire
Site Owner
Site Owner


Joined: 01 Nov 2001
Posts: 380
Location: Roselle, NJ

PostPosted: Mon Aug 11, 2003 6:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Galadrion wrote:
Hm... Now, having read both of them, I feel I can adequately comment. From a technical standpoint, they both rate fairly highly - which is hardly surprising.


How exactly do you mean? This isn't trolling for more 'attaboys', I really am not certain what you're saying, in referring to it that way.

Galadrion wrote:
Oddly, from the comments above, I think I'm going to be in a minority with this... or at least, in disagreement with you, Kinsfire. While I can appreciate both (they are both excellent works, my friend), "Rainy Days and Mondays" appeals more to me. I'm not entirely sure why - this is an opinion which formed on a gut-reaction instinctual level, and is thus highly resistant to analysis - but it reached out and grabbed me quicker than "2" did.


I was having a problem with RD&M, because it was actually a fight to keep it to anything close to what Mike might allow on the Bookshelf (not that it will necessarily qualify anyways). That one kept trying to slide into something only readable on the Adult Bookshelf. I may very well go back and fill in after the raindrop hit him on the back, but only for purposes of dropping it on the Adult Shelf. It may be that the sexual tension, and thereby conflict, was far more obvious in RD&M.

Galadrion wrote:
It does occur to me, though, that if you were planning on expanding one piece or the other, and were asking which one it should be, I would probably say it should be "2". "Rainy Days and Mondays" has the feeling of being utterly self-contained, complete and finished as is. "2", by contrast, has more of a dynamic - it definitely changes between beginning and ending, and carries the implication that more changes are possible, and even inevitable. I guess that's probably the most expressable of the reasons my preferences crystalized the way they did... I have the feeling that the story doesn't end there, and I find myself thinking about what the rest of the story might be.


I was also realizing that. It could very easily turn into a longer story, simply by iontroducing someone else. Say, her female lover? I could still keep it PG-13 easily enough, but give more than enough tension simply by having TG (The Girlfriend) not like Terry at all. Then Miranda has a choice to make, one way or another.

I'm surprised at the response I'm getting on these stories - these were originally supposed to be throwaways, just to let me get back to writing my other stuff. (You know, like the AC mystery? Laughing) "2" is hinting at me that it really wants to add a chapter or two. In which case, I'll have to remove it from the Singletons heading...

_________________
That which does not kill me probably hurt like a sonuvabitch.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address MSN Messenger
Galadrion
Registered User


Joined: 17 Aug 2001
Posts: 378
Location: Portland, Oregon

PostPosted: Mon Aug 11, 2003 8:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kinsfire wrote:
How exactly do you mean? This isn't trolling for more 'attaboys', I really am not certain what you're saying, in referring to it that way.

I didn't mean anything particularly cryptic with this - mainly, I was saying that from the strict standpoint of writing mechanics, both of these stories are well-written. On that basis, there isn't really much a reader can latch onto to say, "This one is better than that one, and here's why."

Kinsfire wrote:
I was having a problem with RD&M, because it was actually a fight to keep it to anything close to what Mike might allow on the Bookshelf (not that it will necessarily qualify anyways). That one kept trying to slide into something only readable on the Adult Bookshelf.

I can appreciate that difficulty; that was what had me chasing my tail with Intermezzo One.

Kinsfire wrote:
I may very well go back and fill in after the raindrop hit him on the back, but only for purposes of dropping it on the Adult Shelf. It may be that the sexual tension, and thereby conflict, was far more obvious in RD&M.

Perhaps. If you choose to do so, by all means, let me know - I'll be interested to see which version I prefer, or if I can make a clear call either way. Though I will make this comment: the sexual tension I could percieve was stronger in "2"... though your protagonist wouldn't acknowledge it until the last few sections.

Kinsfire wrote:
Galadrion wrote:
It does occur to me, though, that if you were planning on expanding one piece or the other, and were asking which one it should be, I would probably say it should be "2". "Rainy Days and Mondays" has the feeling of being utterly self-contained, complete and finished as is. "2", by contrast, has more of a dynamic - it definitely changes between beginning and ending, and carries the implication that more changes are possible, and even inevitable. I guess that's probably the most expressable of the reasons my preferences crystalized the way they did... I have the feeling that the story doesn't end there, and I find myself thinking about what the rest of the story might be.


I was also realizing that. It could very easily turn into a longer story, simply by introducing someone else. Say, her female lover? I could still keep it PG-13 easily enough, but give more than enough tension simply by having TG (The Girlfriend) not like Terry at all. Then Miranda has a choice to make, one way or another.

<Raises eyebrows in surprise> Ah, so. So Miranda actually does have a girlfriend at the time of this episode? Such was not entirely clear in-story - somehow, I carried away the impression that her GF was in the same state of existance as her nottweiler - that is, more theoretical than actual. Indeed, before she made her confession, I had the sneaking suspicion that she was straight, and used the lesbian declaration as a protective strategem.

Mm... yes, that's one possible way to increase the tension, though there are others. I'll not go into those here - you already have a double-dozen at your fingertips, no doubt, and can ring the changes on those to further increase the possibilities.

Kinsfire wrote:
I'm surprised at the response I'm getting on these stories - these were originally supposed to be throwaways, just to let me get back to writing my other stuff. (You know, like the AC mystery? Laughing) "2" is hinting at me that it really wants to add a chapter or two. In which case, I'll have to remove it from the Singletons heading...

If it works out that way, I say fine. Just don't push it simply for the sake of expanding the tale - it works fine as a short vignette. When I tossed that out there, I was simply making a distinction between the two.

_________________
Galadrion - Member of the Longbottom 3.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website AIM Address Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
Kinsfire
Site Owner
Site Owner


Joined: 01 Nov 2001
Posts: 380
Location: Roselle, NJ

PostPosted: Mon Aug 11, 2003 9:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm aware you weren't - I was just remembering that I was thinking about scenarios that take place AFTER the end - as I was finishing the tale. So the option is there. If it's going to happen, you'll know when I offer you chapter ... um ... deux? dos? zwei? of the story "2"...Laughing
_________________
That which does not kill me probably hurt like a sonuvabitch.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address MSN Messenger
Kinsfire
Site Owner
Site Owner


Joined: 01 Nov 2001
Posts: 380
Location: Roselle, NJ

PostPosted: Wed Aug 13, 2003 11:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I know - replying to myself is bad form. (Since when? Shut up.)

If people have a clear idea of why they liked one story over the other, would you mind explaining it to me? I had an interesting chat, wherein someone referred to the difference between "2" and "RD&M" as one of them being the first draft of a Nora Roberts novel, and the other being a reprint of a Catherine Coulter story. (Problem is, I completely understood that...Laughing)

In your minds, what makes one story better than the other? Obviously, only if you can put it into words. If it's ineffable...Laughing

_________________
That which does not kill me probably hurt like a sonuvabitch.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address MSN Messenger
Galadrion
Registered User


Joined: 17 Aug 2001
Posts: 378
Location: Portland, Oregon

PostPosted: Thu Aug 14, 2003 2:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, I prefered "Rainy Days and Monday", personally. Why? Several reasons. I'll go into the ones I can articulate.

I can relate to the characters more - there's a definite feeling of "that could be me" to it. No, I'm not saying that sort of thing happens to me - except in the broadest possible terms - but that the characters' reactions fit in with what I think my own would be. (Heh - in terms of how likely the scenario would be... well, I think "2" is actually more likely. Still not very, though. And there's no way I could have coped as smoothly as your protagonist did.)

The storyline feels... complete. It's plain, especially from the last sentence, that a great deal more lies unsaid, but that doesn't matter. This part of the story has come to a close, and wouldn't be improved by adding any more. By contrast, "2" has so many possibilities - some have been tossed into the ring earlier - that it's clear the story isn't closed.

There's also the purely personal matter that I happen to view Undine more positively than I do Miranda. She remained consistant throughout the story - whereas Miranda... Well, I can't really say she changed. My perception of her changed. While I can understand her deception, and even appreciate the need for it, the fact remains that, by the end of "2", I don't trust her as much as I was inclined to at the outset. The fact that she started with a deception - several, actually, if you include the contradictory messages between her words and her actions - means that she's going to have to prove herself before I'll again offer my trust. And in a short story format, she doesn't have that sort of time available.

I hope my meaning came through. I realize I rambled quite a bit - it has to do with me trying to express my reactions. If something didn't come through clearly enough, feel free to ask about it.

_________________
Galadrion - Member of the Longbottom 3.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website AIM Address Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
Nameless
Site Owner
Site Owner


Joined: 06 Sep 2002
Posts: 1368
Location: Vienna, Austria

PostPosted: Thu Aug 14, 2003 2:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hmmm, RD&M reads nicely, but to me there is not a lot of tension, ... in it.

This is something that "2" has a lot, mainly because Miranda is not particularly forthcoming with the truth. In a strange way, I trust her, even if I do not trust her word. (If that makes any sense Rolling Eyes )

And there is just something special and whimsical about the story, about how Miranda plays with the viewpoint character. (I guess she'd be a cat if she was a furry.)

And, discounting the fact that I would probably be some kind of dog as a furry, I'm not really that much of a dog person.
So I just gotta love those Nott-weilers. Laughing Rolling Eyes Wink

_________________
I'm a nut, but there are those who appreciate me for it.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Planetfurry BBS Forum Index -> kinsfire All times are GMT - 4 Hours
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group