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A sample of my new story.

 
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Midi
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 30, 2007 9:14 am    Post subject: A sample of my new story. Reply with quote

This is a story I came up with after listening to Loki's "Furry Transformation" hypnosis file a while back. It didn't work for me, but it gave me a great idea for a story! Here's a small part of it.

Full Immersion wrote:

CHAPTER 3: MORE PROBLEMS

The fight in the cafeteria, as you might have guessed, did not go unnoticed, especially by Chloe. All day long, she nagged my head off. Not to mention the huge number of people gossiping about how I nearly tore Joey apart.

“… and I told you to ignore them but no, you just didn’t listen, did you?” Chloe ranted at me. “You know, you’re so feral; I wouldn’t be surprised at all if you sprouted fur and a tail right here and now!”

“I get it, Chloe.” I was thoroughly bored now. “Just don’t worry about me. This had nothing to do with that file I downloaded.”

Chloe jumped in my way. She might be small, but she’s no pushover. “Tyler,” she said with a very assertive tone, “If you fight this guy, I’ll kill you after he does!”

“Sure you will,” I mocked. “And what if I win?”

“I’ll still do it,” she said.

“Well it’s too late now. He’s here.”

Joey Simmons was waiting for me behind the gym. He had a couple of his thugs with him. Hah! I thought. He must be afraid of me; else he wouldn’t have brought them. Everyone around us was chanting, “Fight! Fight! Fight!”

Joey looked me in the eye (he seemed to like doing that,) and said to me, “Make your move, dog-boy.”

I lunged at him, reaching forward to land the first punch. He countered with a clip on the side of my face. I swung back, and kicked upward into his chin.

He fought like an idiot, and I had taken classes. The fight was almost mine when I saw Joey reach into his pocket. He pulled out a knife, and tried to stab me with it. I dodged just in time, but he still got my shirt.

Now I was pissed. I reached for his neck, got a hold, and flung him down. Next, my foot was on his chest (at this point, we were still in the air), and I slammed him down into the mud, jumping off his chest at the same time.

Then I picked him up by his shirt, and whispered into his ear, “That’s ‘cat,’ you slime!”

The knife dropped out of his hand, and I heard the wind escape his chest. When I landed, I heard horrified gasps from the other two. I turned to see them both running away, and Chloe looking at me in total disbelief.

“Uh, Tyler?” She pointed behind me. “What’s that?”

I looked around, but there was nothing I could see. Then I looked down.

I had a tail.
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GriffinX
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Joined: 18 Jun 2007
Posts: 785
Location: SLC Utah

PostPosted: Tue Oct 30, 2007 4:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

well a hypnosis change, intersting premis i must say don't know if the fight fits the concept but i havent read any of the other chapters so i couldn't say for sure but hey good detail.

sorry no cruticys or miss spelling or bad grammer form me i am the last one to be giving that kind of help

but i liked it for the most part.

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Teric
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 30, 2007 4:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A hypnosis actually triggering a physical change. Very interesting. Smile

*goes back to reading the full manuscript*

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Virmir
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Joined: 21 Nov 2006
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 30, 2007 9:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ha ha! I like it. Smile

You can of course go in all sorts of directions with this. One being that he is in fact hallucinating due to the hypnosis and the others are just pointing something else out, but his brain is re-wired to make him think they're acknowledging the tail. Smile

Fun stuff either way, and looking forward to reading the full version.

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Midi
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PostPosted: Wed Oct 31, 2007 9:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Virmir wrote:
Ha ha! I like it. Smile

You can of course go in all sorts of directions with this. One being that he is in fact hallucinating due to the hypnosis and the others are just pointing something else out, but his brain is re-wired to make him think they're acknowledging the tail. Smile

Fun stuff either way, and looking forward to reading the full version.


Oh, no, the change is real. In the end... well, just PM me if you want spoilers.
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