Planetfurry BBS

[Teric]

This is a short story that I wrote a few years ago. Since I don't have the original manuscript, the story below is only from memory. Please let me know what you think.

Smoke. Smoke and ash. They hung so thickly in the air that even his finely tuned vision couldn't see further than five feet in any direction. Jeron shifted his weight, and dug his hind claws into the rope while he scratched his ear with his paw.

"Should be able to see it by now," he thought to himself, straining to see through the thick black clouds around him. Shaking his head, he took hold of the rope once more and continued lowering himself into the cone of the volcano.

His lithe, skillful paws deftly gripped the rope. For the last twenty minutes he had hung, inverted, carefully climbing downward toward his prize. Sweat beaded his forehead and muzzle, but it was not from the raging heat that surrounded him. His muscles and reflexes had been on full alert, like a tightly coiled spring, from the time that he had tied the strange, black cord to a rocky outcropping on the volcano's upper rim.

The ferret caught himself marveling once again at his situation. He guessed that he was less than sixty meters above the surface of the lava, and yet his fur felt as cool as on a brisk autumn morning. The air that he breathed held no trace of the ashes that floated around him. The dark, hooded badger had indeed spoken truly; the rope's power somehow protected him from the volcano's deadly environment.

Paw over paw, Jeron continued his descent, until at length he spotted a faint orange glow below him. He slowed his movements as the lava's surface came into view amid the smoke, not more than twenty meters from where he hung. His eyes darted quickly across the surface until he spotted his goal.

Suspended in mid-air above the lava, a golden-hilted sword hung, with the blade pointed straight down toward the volcano's heart. The ferret took a sharp breath at the sight. His eyes quickly focused upon a tightly rolled parchment attached to the hilt.

"There!" He whispered sharply. His heart leaped within him, and he closed his eyes for a moment to calm his excitement. "No mistakes, Jeron." He scolded himself silently. "Others have come here before and failed."

He lowered himself on the rope until he was nearly level with the blade, less than five feet from the molten rock below him. Despite the power that protected him, he could feel the heat around him increasing. He realized that his time was short. Digging his hind claws into the rope above him, he tied the remaining length of cord around his waist.

With the grace of an acrobat, Jeron turned his long body and started the rope swinging toward the sword. With each pendulum-like swing, he pumped his legs and arms, adding momentum, and bringing the sword ever closer to his outstretched paws. As he drew nearer, the excitement within him grew.

His claw brushed the sword's pommel, and he knew that the next swing would bring him close enough to grasp it. As the rope drew him back toward the volcano's wall, he coiled himself for a final push. With a mighty thrust of his limbs, he hurled himself toward the blade. Before his eyes, he saw his outstretched right paw reach, touch, and finally close to grip the sword's hilt.

A wave of triumphant exultation flowed through him. After all of the stories, the legends, and the would-be heroes, Jeron Ferret would be the one to succeed where so many others had not. "Now, the Bards guild will sing of my deeds," he thought to himself smugly.

The parchment was now only inches from his paw. He had no interest in the document's contents, but he knew that its safe delivery to the badger would bring him a king's ransom in gold. Trembling, he brought up his left paw to grip the blade and pull it from its perch above the lava.

In his excitement, he paid no heed to the sharp, stabbing cold that shot through both arms and into his chest. His jubilation melted into horror as he saw his paws and arms dissolve into ashes before his eyes. His howl of agony was quickly cut short.

***

Glinting in the bright, fiery glow, the golden-hilted sword now spun slowly on its axis above the lava. A short distance away, the remnants of the now powerless rope crisped and crumbled into ashes, borne upward by the raging heat.

At the rim of the volcano, a robed figure stood, oblivious to the billowing clouds of smoke around him. His eyes shone yellow from within a black hood, staring downward into the volcano's heart. In his paw, a thin stone tablet glowed with mystical symbols. With a finger, the badger traced several additional symbols into the tablet. As his finger passed, the new symbols took on a blue glow.

Sighing to himself, he returned his research notes to within the folds of his robes, still staring down into the volcano. "Seventeen," he thought to himself. "How many more souls will it take?" He stood for several moments, silently debating with himself. Finally, he clenched his paw in determination, and spun on his heel to decend to the forests below.

[Luther]

Good story, didnt see any misspellings and was caught off guard by the ending.

Went through it again this morning and didnt catch anything, looks fine to me.

-L

[Teric]

Thanks Luther!

[Syrius]

B-b-but why????? *covers face and sobs* I want my five minutes back.

[Teric]

It's meant to make the reader think, to ponder, and wonder about just why it happened that way. It is just a short story, after all.

I thought today about how I could use this for a prologue to a much longer story, but I don't know if I'm up to writing something like that.

[Teric]

Thanks for the comments, guys. I've made some edits (found the typo near the end, but I couldn't find the one near the beginning), and made some additions to answer a few questions.

[Virmir]

Awesomeness. I will agree it did leave me with questions but more importantly a desire to read more. Nice work!

[Teric]

[Chris Regan]

Hi Teric,

I saw the typo's but I got the first draft from Mike. It sounds good to me, I saw it as a possible dream sequence to the story but Mike tells me you changed somethings.

[Teric]

Yes--originally, the last two paragraphs were not included. I added those to help answer a few questions, and yet still leave the reader wondering about some things.

Thanks for reading, glad you like it.