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Tell me what you think ^_^

 
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dmurda
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Joined: 08 Dec 2005
Posts: 4

PostPosted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 10:17 am    Post subject: Tell me what you think ^_^ Reply with quote

Hi Im new to the forums. Ive been thinking of writing a furry story for quite some time now. Here is first part of it. Tell me what you think.
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dmurda
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Joined: 08 Dec 2005
Posts: 4

PostPosted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 10:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

sorry about the double post I forgot to post it X_X

When dreams are all too real
Fog as thick as wet cement slowly snaked around the ancient evergreens. As if following the rhythmic pulsing of the rain, lightning waltzed among the angry clouds. The cold night air slowly strangled the warmth out of my body. Crickets and grasshoppers sang in symphony, as the wind controlled the trees like puppets. As the wind blew fiercely, it began to break saplings like toothpicks. Soon, the strong scent of freshly cut pine saturated the air. Shyly, like a frightened child, the moon peeked between the angry clouds. The voice of the storm was loud tonight. However, on this night there was a phenomenon even greater than the voice of the storm.

Suddenly, I heard thunderous footsteps echo and clash above the howling wind. The footsteps sounded like they were coming closer. Each step shook the ground like a miniature earth quake. I didn’t plan on finding out what was after me, so I began to run recklessly through the woods. As I ran from my unknown pursuer, seemingly harmless branches reached out to scratch my face. Fog and rain distorted my vision, causing trees to transform into a never-ending green nightmare. No matter how fast I ran, I did not seem to be gaining any ground. Not paying attention to where I was going, I stumbled over a large tree root. The trees seemed to mock me, as I fell into the mud with a loud thud. While wiping mud from my eyes, I quickly spun around to see what was after me. I gasped at the impossibilities that I saw. As far as, I could see, something had laid waste to the once beautiful and ancient woods behind me. Something with enough power to throw trees wider than cars aside like playthings, certainly could not be friendly.

It was at that moment, I began to realize the power of my pursuer. While the rain and mud stung my eyes, the air around me began to grow thick and warm. Humid air swept down, embracing me like a worried mother, making it hard to breath. All the plants began to wilt and dry, which meant something, had to be draining their life. Then the footsteps stopped right in front of me. After a loud thunderclap, the rain and fog stopped. The thing that was after me suddenly came into view. My hunter was nothing more than a small black vortex floating in the air. It was so black that it seemed to drink up the moonlight. Upon closer inspection, I noticed that it was pulsating and enlarging. As my pursuer began to make its way out of the intimidating portal, the air began to get incredibly cold. Slowly, I began to get to my feet. The hell if I was going to wait to see what was coming out of that vortex. I tried to move my legs, but they would not budge. I was trapped and at the mercy of my pursuer. Suddenly, the vortex emitted a dark blue light from its center of rotation. The light engulfed plants and animals alike. A curious deer began to walk towards the light. Once the light passed over the deer, not even a skeleton remained. This made me redouble my efforts at escape, but it only made it harder to move. The more I struggled, the more trapped I became. Soon, I could only move my head. I watched in horror as the vortex changed into a blood red portal.

The noise was incredible! Red lighting arced and sizzled out of the portal, as a glowing red tail slowly emerged. For a moment, nothing happened. Then in one blinding flash, the lightning surrounded the one tail and it split into nine. The portal and the vortex vanished as if they were never there, but the nine tails remained. Blue fire began to wrap around the nine tails, as if it something controlled it’s shape. This fire did not behave like any I had ever seen. Strangely, the fire’s heat was very intense, yet it did not cause any of the plants to catch on fire. After about 5 minutes, the flames cooled off. Standing before me was some kind of fox creature.


Last edited by dmurda on Sun Dec 11, 2005 4:23 pm; edited 1 time in total
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dmurda
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Joined: 08 Dec 2005
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 10:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

part 2

The scent of roses overwhelmed my senses. The being wore a black toga, which greatly contrasted with its white fur and nine glowing red tails. Each tail moved as it had a mind of its on. I could not tell the person’s gender. The being may have only stood up to my shoulder, but it had a much larger mental and physical presence. This creature certainly did not look dangerous, but then again, looks can deceive. I certainly did not plan on finding out. As I started to move back, the creature’s eyes quickly snapped open. Ice blue eyes regarded me as a cat might look at a mouse. It had succeeded in cornering me, and it knew it.
Right as I decided to make my escape, a surprisingly feminine voice shouted,

“Stop where you are mortal! You are in danger”.

“Um how about I get away from you as quickly as possible”, I replied as I began to back away. Geez, what have I gotten into this time. Not only did I hear her voice in my ear, but I could hear her in my mind as well.

Teleporting in front of me, she grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and whispered,

“Sorry that is not an option. I have worked to hard to reach you. You will listen to what I have to say or else.”
Her breath smelled of raw meat. I really did not want to find out what the “or else” was. It sounded too permanent for my liking.

After a slow intake of air, I slowly nodded my head and replied,

“Ok, crazy fox lady, you have my attention.”
With a slight look of amusement, she gently sat me down. Man how could someone so small be so strong. There was something oddly familiar about her, but I couldn’t place my finger on it.
As she sat down on a giant mushroom, she said,

“Jim, my name is Tia, one of the 9 entities. I have traveled across the multi-verse to talk to you. I am here to give you a choice.”

“Listen woman I would love to talk, but I don’t even where the heck I am. Not to be rude, but I would like to go home. You come here demanding to talk to me you say. HA! I do not believe you for a second. You really could have used a less dramatic way to get my attention. I don’t even see why little old me is all that important.” I said as I snapped a few twigs.

“Fool!! There are more things at stake than your home. By the way, you can’t trick me. I know you are a psychic. Do you even know why your powers are so easy to use?”, she shouted as her eyes began to glow red.

“Uh I guess you have something to do with it.”
While she sniffed the air around her, she walked up to me.

“You don’t have to be so nervous. Yes Sherlock, I am the reason you have your powers in the first place.”

Dang she could smell my nervousness. I really didn’t like her. I planned to ditch her first chance I got.

“Hey I heard that mortal. Your thoughts are not safe from me”, she said with a grin that was anything but friendly.
Fear filled me, as I quickly tried to shield my thoughts.

“Don’t even bother trying to shield your mind either, I can already read you like a book”, she replied with a light chuckle.

“But I thought powers like mine are only inherited through bloodlines.” She looked into my eyes.

“Yes that is true. Be silent, and all will be explained.” She looked behind herself as if she something was after her. Slowly she walked back to the mushroom to have a seat. “I don’t have very long so I guess I’ll tell you why you have these powers. Putting it in idiot’s terms, you are a copy of my essence. Your soul and mine are exactly the same.”

“How is that even possible you don’t look anything like me?”
An arc of pain exploded on my face, as she smacked me onto the still wet ground.

“Don’t interrupt me again mortal!! Be glad I am not just taking what I came for by force. Now where was I? Before the appearance of humans, I was a war sorceress for my people. I used my powers to do quite a few things I am not to proud of. Since the were scared I was growing too powerful, my own people turned on me. I could have easily squashed them one on one, but they came at me all at once. Using their combined strength, they split my soul into four fragments. By using most of their energy, they put three of the fragments into the wheel of time. My captors placed one of the fragments on my home planet. There they locked into it in a hyperspace chamber. Luckily, I had enough power left to escape with one of my soul fragments. Somehow, three of my fragments became mortal souls. You happen to be one of them. Since your soul is just a fragment, I will have to extract my fragment directly. ” Then the realization of what she wanted to do hit me like a ton of bricks. She wanted to fuse to gain more power. I did not want know what would happen me if she was successful.

“My god lady you are crazy. There is no way I’ll let you. That would mean I might cease to exist. I still have my life to live, and I’ll be damned if you take that away.” Suddenly, her hand began to glow as she reached around my neck. Then she whispered, “Too late”.

The pain was unbelievable. It felt someone skinned me alive and used salt to stop the bleeding. I looked into her eyes was surprised to see there were tears.

As the pain pulled me to the edge of unconsciousness, she said,
“I’m so sorry my child….”


Last edited by dmurda on Sun Dec 11, 2005 4:25 pm; edited 1 time in total
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dmurda
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Joined: 08 Dec 2005
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 09, 2005 10:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

part 3 of 3

Suddenly I heard a loud noise. POP!
“Jim you better not be sleeping in my class again”.

I fell out my desk as the teacher popped a paper bag next to my ear. My eye flicked open like a light switch, as I hit my knee on the floor. Wow what a weird dream that was. Heck the most realistic dream I have had in a while. If I had not hit my knee what would have happened. Ugh, I shuddered I really did not want to know. Rubbing my sore knee, and ignoring the laughs of my peers, I slowly got up to sit in my seat with a smile. My teacher walked up to my desk.

“Jim I’ve had it with you sleeping through my class.” Mrs. Scone says loudly.

Before thinking, I blurt out, “Well maybe sleeping is better than listening to anything you have to say”.

My peers thought it was hilarious.

A very flushed Mrs. Scone shouted, “Well I never ! Go to the office and see the principle right now!”

That could have gone a lot better. I really did not feel like going to the principle’s office to hear his nonsense. I knew better, but I decided it would be more fun to go to the arcade instead. This decision would change my life forever. I looked both ways in the hall, I quietly slipped through the front entrance of my high school. HA! I thought to myself, Jim 1 school system 0. I celebrated a bit too early, because I did not see the car that sped across the front lawn of our high school. I did not have time to move, as the rusty Buick hit me at full speed. Everything began to turn black as the darkness and pain embraced my consciousness.

sorry for so many posts but I couldnt get the attachments to work right X_X. Kinda new at this kinda stuff =P
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